Tuesday, November 29, 2005

My take on...

Every so often, I have some partial thoughts about different things going on in the world. Here's what I think about certain people in the sports world. My take on....

...Michelle Wie.

I don't remember her ever proving she could beat her fellow 14-year olds, let alone a grown man. Let me know if she ever starts dominating her peers. She better do it quick before she ruins her confidence and her career. That can only lead to the cover of Hustler, where she'll get paid just enough to keep her heroin addiction going for three more months.

...Sean Salisbury:

The man was a quarterback for what, two and a half weeks back in 1994? He's full of good advice that he himself could have used back during his playing day. Maybe if he had taken some of it, he would have been, y'know...relavant. Gus Frerotte was one his peers and I remember him. Why couldn't I remember Sean Salisbury?

...Kobe Bryant:

There's absolutely nothing wrong with playing EXACTLY like Michael Jordan, except in Queens, where they call that "holding his dick in public."

...Magic Johnson:

Magic Johnson doesn't have HIV, unless HIV's secret side-effect is to make you gain weight. You know who really has HIV? Larry Bird. The man started deteriorating as soon as Magic made his annoucement.

...Michael Wilbon (from PTI):

He wants to hard to be recognized for being edgy and mean and so tough on these sports guys. He wishes he could be viewed as the angry black man, but we all know that's not the case. His righteous indignation from atop his moral high horse is so cute, though. He's probably married to a white woman.

...Tony Kornheiser (from PTI):

I love this man. He deserves an entertaining co-host. I was hoping Stephen A. Smith would have gotten it, but he's decided that a studio audience was the way to go.

...Stephen A. Smith:

I believe he passionately HATES Kevin Frazier (the old host of the NBA stuff on ESPN), which is why he's the OLD host of the NBA stuff on ESPN.

...Tom Jackson (ESPN football analyst):

Few things in life are funnier than the look on this man's face when Michael Irvin or Steve Young dare to challenge the all knowing wisdom of Tom Jackson. Whenever he gets upset at them, you can almost see him wistfully look back to the days when it was just he and Chris Berman...alone. It's almost like when the slaves would start identifying with the slavemaster. I expect his name to become Tom Berman by this time next year.

...Shannon Sharpe:

He was an great tight end (the gayest thing I've said since last Wednesday), but when was the last time YOU were able to get a job because your brother was good-looking and well spoken?

...Phil Jackson:

I want to fuck his wife. I settled for paying him money for his book.

...Terrell Owens:

If I had paid full price for my jersey I'd be really pissed at him for making it so I can't wear it again for a while.

...Emmitt Smith:

I could have gotten 2000 yards a season with that offensive line. Note that as soon as they were gone, you didn't hear a word out of Emmitt Smith. Hell, Warrick Dunn is good for at least a G and he's got a terrible offensive line. If Barry Sanders had Emmitt Smith's line, he would have rushed for 4000 yards a season.

...Barry Sanders:

The greatest running back I've ever seen. Broke more ankles than Kathy Bates and half the time, he was the only one on the field with a Lions jersey on. Certainly, no one was blocking for him. If I were him, I'd hate Emmitt Smith. In fact, I do hate Emmitt Smith.

...Vince Carter:

Tim Legler declared this man's career was over. I've never met VC, but I knew he still had it just from the four games I saw him in over the last three years before the trade. You'd think Tim Legler would understand how Vince was feeling, seeing as how he NEVER played on a winning team.

...Penny Hardaway:

I believe the man could still give you 15 and 9. But he'll never get the chance because Stephon Marbury clutches the ball so tightly to his bosom you'd think his crack stash was in there.

...Frank Thomas:

The minute he stopped being productive, the White Sox got good. That has got to sting a little.

...Tom Brady:

Much like Mr. Smith, with a line like that, even Sean Salisbury could give you 300 yards and 4 touchdowns a game. This is probably the most overrated quarterback in history. He's a good quarterback, but you're seeing now that he doesn't will his team to victory. I've seen Brett Favre get a sub-par team into the playoffs (last year's Packers). Brady doesn't seem too up to the job. He's the beneficiary of a well timed injury and the most balanced football team EVER. And also the Bush Administration's rigging of the 2002 Super Bowl.

...Drew Bledsoe:

Inventor of the Tom Brady Voodoo Doll and probably has tried to cut Tom Brady's brake lines more than once. Those years he was exiled to Buffalo were brutal. I forgot he was still playing.

...College Football:

The most worthless sport ever in human history. I'm still upset that Nebraska and Penn State never got to play in 1994. Turned me completely off to college football.

...College Basketball:

Now THAT'S how you decide a champion! Unfortunately for me, it won't be North Carolina this year. Two times this year, I'm going to be on the brink of tears. Both times, Duke will be on the floor against UNC.

...Scott Norwood:

Jay Feely's performance on Sunday made Scott Norwood smile just a little.

...Craig Kilborn and Keith Olbermann:

It's time for the prodigal sons to return. They need to save Dan Patrick. That man is so bitter and cynical these days that I think it's time for an intervention.

...The Philadelphia Eagles:

I knew letting Duce Staley leave would bite them on the ass.

...Steve Mariucci:

Probably got fired for trying to end the "Joey Harrington Experiment." I swear, Harrington must have embarrassing pictures of Matt Millen in his house. Matt Millen must have embarrassing pictures of the Lions' owner in his. Doesn't Matt Millen look like the dad from Varsity Blues?

...USC:

Due to the farcical nature of College Football, USC is as credible a champion as Triple H.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Blind Patriotism

I know these are all old issues, but it was on my mind last night. Screw you. This is MY blog.

Last time I checked, blind patriotism is for idiots. Things like that lead to police states and unquestioned lords and masters of the world. Is that what you want?

It was a scary time when people accused others of not being patriotic when they dared question His Holiness George Dubya, the Second. Am I the only person who heard about the phenomenon that was McCarthyism?

For those who would tell me that I should love it or leave it (in reference to the USA...usually white people do this), if I didn't love it, I wouldn't care what others do to it. I criticize it because I love it. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else in the world, but the state that this country (and the world) is in right now scares me. People who think that you shouldn't be criticizing the country or whatever else clearly can't take criticism well. Either that, or they're doing something they have no business doing.

Look at it like this, if your friends or your family was doing something wrong, you'd tell them they were wrong, right? You know, to look out for them; to keep them out of trouble. Or as the brothers used to say, "off the illa path." Nah, I'm the stupid one. Turns out you were really just anti-family and friends, because you dared have the temerity to have an alternate viewpoint.
For those who believe that I should fight for my country's freedom...you're absolutely right. I should. And when we went into Afghanistan, I was 100% in support of it. You figure, if Osama's the one who really did it, and you know he's in Afghanistan, it doesn't make too much sense to look for him in, say....Cambodia. You should probably go to Afghanistan. If they had drafted me to go there, I would have been upset, but I would have understood.

But...don't tell me that I should go to Iraq and fight. Much like Vietnam, it's a skirmish that people can't even find a competent defense for anymore. Everyone wants to get out of there now. Personally, I believe Bush should have been impeached for it and Cheney thrown in jail, because I know that if I had done something like that, I would have been impeached at the least and most certainly would have been thrown in jail.

You people wanted Clinton's head for getting some head, but you let this clown slide on getting us involved in a war against a country that was no threat to its neighbors, let alone a country about 6000 miles away and about 50 times greater in size.

Eddie Guerrero died last week of heart troubles, but Dick Cheney is still alive and kicking. God bless the Devil that Cheney sold his soul to.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Civil Liberties

On ESPN today, there's a report about fans at NFL games complaining and suing because they don't want get patted down before they enter the stadium. To these people I say, shut the fuck up.

For the last three and some change years, people have been complaining about airport security (it's been really bad here in Atlanta). To these people I also say, shut the fuck up.

This is what you wanted, America. Don't get mad about it now. You put those jokers in Congress and you put that retard back in office. You supported that administration when he started pushing the Patriot Act. It was okay for authorities do whatever they wanted to root out those evil Arab bastards. It wasn't until they started searching YOU that YOU started complaining. I don't wanna hear it. Just shut up.

Why, they're just doing what they have to do to keep the peace. Remember that when they're tapping your phone or kicking your door in.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Stephon Marbury

Stephon Marbury is the best point guard in the NBA.

Bitch, please.

Stephon Marbury isn't the best point guard in the state of New York. Isiah Thomas could step on the court TONIGHT and be a better point guard. Larry Brown, replaced hips and all, could show Marbury a thing or two about being a point guard. Penny Hardaway can still manage a team better than Marbury. I'd pick whoever's starting at St. John's this year over Marbury. I'll even go so far as to say that if they took the train over to Brooklyn, they could find a better point guard in the middle of some streetball game.

He isn't the best point guard even amongst shooting guards and small forwards. Who does this guy think he is? And why does this man have fans? Now let's be fair: I don't know anything about this guy outside of what he does on the court. He might be a nice guy. When it comes to his game, though...this guy is overrated.

If he's so good, why have I never seen this man on a winning team? He's not like Mitch Richmond. Mitch was a great shooting guard who never had a serviceable team built around him, let alone a winning team. Marbury, on the other hand? He didn't make GA Tech any better when he was there. When he got to Minnesota, he was practically giftwrapped a future championship when he teamed with Kevin Garnett. He was traded to New Jersey where he would eventually team with Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin, yet the team languished in the East's cellar...until Marbury was traded. Then, that same team went to the NBA Finals with new point guard Jason Kidd. His new team, the Phoenix Suns, had Shawn Marion and Penny Hardaway and would draft Amare Stoudamire. This team would languish in the West's cellar and struggle to make the playoffs before Hardaway and Marbury were traded to the Knicks. That Suns team wouldn't do anything at all until the next year...when new point guard Steve Nash signed there. Then that exact same team would win 62 games and go to the Western Conference Finals.

Does that sound like a winner to you? Sure, he's talented, but he's never made anyone else better. In fact, I have a personal belief that his ball-hogging has ruined the latter part of the career of Penny Hardaway. His style of play has never benefitted anyone other than himself, and he's the point guard! It's his JOB to make others better! Some people might say, "but he's a scorer!" or "he's never had good players around him; he doesn't have anyone to pass to!"
That's a load of crap. I present exhibit A: Allen Iverson. Drafted the same year and at two inches shorter, this man dominated the league in scoring and carried a team of no-names to the NBA Finals in 2001. He was/is also a shoot first point guard who didn't make anyone better, but he was always a dominant scorer. So he was moved to shooting guard and somehow began to make guys like Aaron McKie and Eric Snow better from that position, by drawing defenses and finding the open man. Last year, he was moved back to point guard and had his best season, as he had good players around him and while they struggled, they got better as the season went on. This year, he's putting up insane points and assists numbers in this early season, and helping Chris Webber resurrect his career (he's looked better here than he has in about two or three years) and helping Al2 (Andre Igoudala) blossom into a star in his own right.

Allen Iverson had NO good players around him, and willed his team to the Finals. Why can't Marbury do that? You know why? Because he's not as good as advertised. He's not a dominant scorer (he's a good scorer, though) and he doesn't always find the open man. He doesn't draw defenses because you know that he's not that great of a shooter so you can play off of him and when he drives to the basket, he's going to force something stupid, rather than find the open man (like a real point guard). He's the ultimate me-first player in the NBA and represents almost everything that I find wrong with today's game. Yes, he's got deadly handle with the ball, but what NY point guard doesn't? Yeah, he's quick, but so is Nate Robinson. There's nothing exceptional about his game, especially now, since he doesn't dunk anymore.

So if you have a guy who doesn't make his teammates better, doesn't put up an overwhelming amount of points, doesn't will his team to victory, doesn't pass, doesn't even do anything spectacular to give the fans a reason to watch...what's the point in even playing him? And why has no one ever called him out on claiming to be the best PG in the NBA? Especially when Jason Kidd and Steve Nash still draw breath. Two men who took his old teams (in their entirety) deep into the playoffs. And he has the nerve to suggest that HE'S the best? The best at what? Has he ever played on a winning team?

Surprisingly, yes. Once in 2003-04. Phoenix won 53 games. And Minnesota was 25-25 in the lockout season. He only played 18 of those games before he was shipped to New Jersey, though. Terrell Brandon would take over at PG the next season and they'd start their streak of consecutive playoff appearances. I completely forgot about that one.

Is it all worth it, New York? Personally, I would have kept Charlie Ward.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Celebrity Deaths

Eddie Guerrero died on Sunday and I got pretty upset about it. I wasn't openly sobbing or anything, although I did shed a tear or two. I was depressed at work and Tuesday morning, when I came home, I couldn't bring myself to watch the Raw episode dedicated to him. It's 1:30 am, Wednesday morning and I still haven't watched it. I'm not ready.

Why is that? I've never met Eddie Guerrero. I've seen him in person once, but that was from about 50 yards away and he was busy kicking the crap out of Chris Jericho. I've never spoken with him, but I have seen him cut a lot of wrestling promos over the years. He's never heard any of my opinions, though.

Yesterday, I was thinking about it all. Why do we feel such a closeness with celebrities? We don't really know these guys behind closed doors, although in a lot of cases, after they're gone their friends say all kinds of kind words about them. In Eddie's case (hell, I even refer to him by his first name, like he's my boy), no one has yet to say a bad word about him. Not even the Honky Tonk Man, and that guy has dirt on everyone and isn't afraid to let the world know about it.
We can't really hang out with them, because celebrities tend to be busy people. Even if you bump into them at a club or bar or something, chances are you won't get to have an involved conversation with them. They've got beer to drink, people to flirt with, lawsuits to fight...basically, they've got shit to do and if even if they weren't busy, they just don't know you. These are people who tend to be private with their personal lives and with good reason. The National Enquirer's mission is NOT to show the world that Brad Pitt's heart is filled with cuddly puppies and butterflies.

It just baffled me that I was so upset over the death of a person I'd never even had a conversation with. Logically, this just doesn't make sense to me. I mean, I know who he was and what he did and things like that, but...he wasn't a family member. He wasn't a friend. If I walked past him on the street, he wouldn't know who I was from you. I remember when Kurt Cobain died and my peers (well, white folks my age) were killing themselves because he was dead. It just didn't make sense to me why they'd do that. He wouldn't do it for them. All he was was a person who made music and spoke in a voice that those kids could understand and relate to when no one else could or would. Well, maybe that's it. Maybe he made them feel like they weren't alone in the world and when he was gone, suddenly they were alone again. With his death, they didn't have that person who understood what they felt inside or what they were going through. Not that Eddie and I have the same experiences or he knows what I'm going through, but to me, as a wrestling fan, he gave me inspiration and excitement and humor and drama and his heart and his soul.

Professional artists or athletes give you parts of their inner being when they create or perform. I read someone saying that when it's done right, wrestling is an artform. Eddie Guerrero was one of the best artists the world has ever known. Watching him in the ring drew emotions out of me. When he's do something underhanded and get away with it, he'd give this mischevious grin and it made me give the same grin, like we shared an inside joke that no one else knew about. When he "quit" WCW on Nitro, I felt some of his anger when he cut his promo, because we both knew he was capable of more than he was allowed to do. Even when he was bad, he was hard to hate and when he was good, we loved him even more. Through his actions in the ring, we caught some of his true personality and we felt a connection to him. The more we saw him, the closer to him we felt. Now that he's gone, our lives feel that much more empty.

And since we won't get to see him perform anymore, that's why we feel that we've lost a friend. I guess.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Eddie Guerrero

Eddie Guerrero died today.

I really don't know what to say about all of it. One of my favorite wrestlers has died today. Obviously, I was shocked and shaken by it. He was only 38.

I was really hoping that it was a misprint or something. This had happened before. I remember when the internet had proclaimed that Viscera had died a few years ago. Clearly, that wasn't the case as he's on TV right now. Sure, WWE.com was reporting this, but they've unintentionally posted things before, too.

I was also hoping that it wasn't due to a drug overdose or something like that. Eddie has had problems with that sort of thing before. He got fired from the WWF, went to rehab, cleaned himself up and came back. He won the WWE title. He had been sober for about four years now. As a wrestling fan, we've had to deal with this sort of thing a few times, most notably, Brian Pillman, who also died in a hotel room in Minneapolis, hours before a big show. The thing with Eddie is that he's a favorite with many. He's one of the best in the world. And he cleaned himself up, changed his life, came back to wrestling and rose to greater heights than ever. Casual fans had begun to recognize what the hardcore fans had known all along. Eddie Guerrero is one of the best wrestlers they'd ever seen. I remember when Eddie came to the WWF in 2000, with Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn. I said then that Benoit would win the title and Eddie would be the guy who deserved to have it, but wouldn't get it. Out of that group of four great wrestlers, I felt he would be best of the four. I feel that he has been, to this day.

As far as the drugs go, I guess I just don't want the cause of death to be a drug overdose. I can deal with something natural. I can digest that. But I don't want one of my favorites to have died a junkie. And to think that he might have done that after all he'd been through angers me. Writing this, it's starting to dawn on me that it's been bothering me all day. I teared up as I typed those words, "died a junkie." Over the last few years, I've grown to hate junkies in wrestling. Another of my favorites died a few years ago of a drug overdose, Curt Hennig. When that happened, it barely fazed me. He knew the risks when he put that shit in his body and he suffered his fate. I miss him, but...that was his choice. I don't want to be mad and cold and uncaring with Eddie like I was with Curt. And I guess that's what hurts, that I might have to be.
After learning of his death, I decided to watch my tape of Smackdown. I work nights, so I have to tape wrestling, but I hadn't watched Smackdown regularly in a year or so. But out of the blue, I decided to tape it this past Friday, just to see what was going on. I planned to tape over it on Monday. Now that tape has a new meaning, because it contains Eddie's last televised match. And it wasn't a great match. He seemed to be a little disinterested in what was going on. It was Smackdown, though. He was wrestling Ken Kennedy. I didn't expect it to be Guerrero/Mysterio all over again. It has a funny ending, though, where he banged a chair against the mat when the ref wasn't looking, but he could hear it. Just before the ref turned around, he tossed the chair to Kennedy and dropped to the mat, feigning unconsciousness. The ref saw the scene and disqualified Kennedy. Eddie Guerrero won his last match.

I don't even know where i'm going with all of this. I guess I don't really need to have a point. One of my favorites has just died. It turns out that a lot of fans are hoping that he didn't die of an overdose, just like me. Some are saying that wrestling doesn't need another drug related wrestling death. I'm not worried about that. Wrestling is going to be okay either way. I just don't want people dragging Eddie through the mud, because that's what's coming if it was drugs involved and because he's so young, that's very likely. I'm still going to miss seeing Eddie Guerrero either way. His talents in the ring, his humor, his charisma. One of my all-time favorites, since 1997.

I've been with you since you and DDP were feuding over the Battlebowl ring. The match with Rey Misterio, Jr. at Halloween Havoc is one of the best I've ever seen. I bought Rey's DVD just to have that match. I always thought the LWO was one of the lowest points of your career. So was that car accident you were in. I just wanted you to be okay, and although it was selfish of me, I wanted to see you wrestle again. I was just glad you weren't dead. When the Revolution came around, to me it was just another point where you were underutilized. You made a grown man jump around like a schoolgirl in his dorm room when you delivered the frogsplash to Road Dogg on Raw for the first time. Then, when you injured your elbow on Smackdown...man, that sucked. I was pissed at you when got fired from the WWF, but I was in the house when you came back and attacked Jericho on Raw and I think I was one of maybe five people who recognized you through your dyed hair. I wanted you to beat the crap out of that guy who came in the ring during the ladder match. I was really glad to see you let the mullet go. I didn't even bother watching No Way Out because I didn't think the "E" would really let you go over Brock Lesnar. And I'll always remember seeing both you and Benoit in the ring with the championship belts, because it was a day that i never thought I'd see. And that brings me to today, because it was a day that i never expected to see. Goodbye, Eddie.