Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Your good intentions aren't good enough

If someone wishes you good tidings or happy feelings, it really shouldn't matter what words they use. If it does, then you're a goddamn asshole.

This lady I had spoken with in Popeye's said to me before leaving, "Be blessed, beloved." She didn't know if I was a Christian or not (probably assumed I was, but whatever), but she took time out of her day to wish kindness upon me. I'm not a Christian, but I said back to her, "Same to you," because my mouth was full of food.

But if it hadn't been, I would have given that lady the business, because how dare she get her Jesusy words all over me? I get that she wanted to say something nice, but she should have said something that wouldn't offend my delicate, non-Christian sensibilities.

Hold up. I wouldn't have said anything like that, because I'm not a dick.

In this world we live in, though, people take offense at the stupidest things, and situations like this is one of them. Some people would actually be ready to throw down if someone gave them a Muslim greeting because they're not Muslim and they only accept kind words in their proper Christian form.

Who cares what package the sentiment comes in? They didn't have to say it at all. I really think some people would rather have a "fuck you, you fucking piece of shit," in English, than someone daring to speak kind words to them in Spanish or Arabic. That's how fucked up we've become.

And people are the worst around Christmastime, when stores break out the "Happy Holidays," and some asshole responds with a hostile, "Merry Christmas."  It's like they're going, "I'll teach you to give me some secular holiday greeting, you tool of Satan. MERRY CHRISTMAS. Why haven't you burst into flames yet?"

I gotta tell you, if that's the battle you wanna fight, where everyone has to greet you in a form befitting your religious beliefs, then you might as well give up now, motherfucker, because this country is becoming more diverse everyday.  Nobody has time to review your resume and tailor a personal greeting to you, based on what information turns up in your background check. All folks can do is say something based on what they know, and if that means you hear something that isn't what you already believe, then sack up and get on with your life. It's still a good intention, and that's gotta be worth something.