Saturday, April 13, 2013

Turn off the cameras and get DMX some help

With all due respect to Iyanla Vanzant, she didn't know what the fuck she was doing. 

I'm sure she had her heart in the right place, but DMX doesn't need the "straight talk" speech and a camera crew following him around to create an atmosphere of "accountability."  Calling him "Beloved" isn't gonna make him see the error of his ways.  This wasn't some Maury-Povich-bootcamp-for-wayward-youths bullshit.  Hell, Dr. Drew couldn't fix him and he's almost an credible doctor.  Almost. 

No, someone needs to turn these fucking cameras off and get this man to a psychiatrist.

See, with regular folks, the tears are signs of a breakthrough of some kind.  There's release, and then healing.  That's what regular folks do.  But DMX is on some other shit.  You don't need me to spell it out, because you've heard him speak.  He sounds like something is wrong with him.  Like his brain is going in five different directions at once.  Or to put it another way:  Look, Bobcat Goldthwait was just acting.  DMX does that shit for real.

So he probably cries all the time.  And laughs.  And yells.  And everything.  All in the course of a regular day.  That's exhausting for a regular person, but how many times did he cry talking to Iyanla Vanzant?  And he couldn't stand her.  How many sane people do you know who are willing to cry in front of someone that they don't like? You probably won't even crack a smile when that chick at work is around that you can't stand, and here he is getting vulnerable.  

So that says to me that it's way past time to get this man some real help.  Not Dr. Drew.  Not a well-meaning poet.  Someone who is actually qualified to fix him, who isn't trying to get ratings so their show gets picked up again.  The qualifications are important, because, as Ms. Vanzant just proved, it's not like just anyone with a firm voice can handle this level of addiction.  Otherwise, I could help DMX.  I mean, I like him and I wish I could, but me telling him that he needs to get clean isn't going to get us anywhere.  He'd probably take one look at my pointy nose and assume I was the Devil.  Next thing you know, he's getting arrested again and I have bite marks on my face.

This is how I know they're not serious about helping DMX:  They used the ad time to try to sell you LaToya Jackson's reality show.  That's the shit you try to sell to people who watch the Kardashians.  You know, idiots.  The Oprah channel didn't want to fix this man.  They wanted him to cry on camera again, and maybe for him to flip out a little, which he did.  If they really wanted to help, they wouldn't have sent a poet and a camera crew over there.  It's so stupid that I can't even think up a stupider example to help put it into context.  

You really want to help DMX?  Send a doctor, not a TV producer. 

#supportDMX