Sunday, July 21, 2013

A White Conservative Educates Me About BET

After a discussion with a white conservative today, some things have come to my attention about BET, and it's purpose that I was not aware of.  I'd like to thank you, Ryan Cracka (@RyanCracka on Twitter), for opening my eyes.

It was always my belief that, for all of its faults (and there are many), BET was created to fill a void in the black community.  At the time of its creation, there was no programming that was controlled by black people.  With the exception of "Soul Train," the shows that did star black people back then were created, controlled, and owned by white people.  In addition, we are only 12% of the population.  Even if we managed to get a show on the air, every black person in America would have to watch it to keep it from getting canceled, which is impossible, unless the show is called "Good Times."  So that means for a show featuring black people to stay on network TV, white people had to like it, too.  It's the reason why almost everything from "Living Single" to "My Wife and Kids" got canceled. 

This is all stuff I believed. 

I also believed that BET wasn't created out of hate for white people, like so many white conservatives think, because that would be a breathtaking level of stupidity.  Watching TV to make white folks mad?  I'm pretty sure they would have taken us up on that.  I guess we'd just give that James Evans glare to the TV, and they'd keep running the world, guilt-free.

My thinking was that it's a numbers game.  It's harder for black people to get and sustain a show on TV that doesn't have white support, because our 12% is smaller than their 55%.  So, instead of fighting to get shows on channels that won't support them, why not start a channel just for us?  I figured white conservatives would like that, considering how much they talk about us not being self-sufficient.  Some might wonder, though, "What's wrong with having shows that cater to everyone?"  The answer is, "nothing."  But I believed that a black channel would be good, because we don't always like the same stuff, which is why there wasn't a large influx of black people watching "Friends." 

(Yes, I know, there were black people watching "Friends."  But usually, they were the only ones in their entire family and circle of friends who were.  Seriously, anyone know two black people that watched "Friends?"  The first time, not reruns.)

So, that's why there was a need for BET, or so I thought.  Black people wanted to watch stuff with black people in it, and white people didn't always want to deliver.  And it isn't because of racism that we don't always have shows.  It's economics.  I didn't understand all of this backlash, because no one give Latinos this kind of grief about their channels, and that's probably because no one understand what the fuck they're saying on Telemundo.  Hell, they have their own cable packages that include Spanish Disney Channel, Spanish ESPN, and Spanish CNN.  If we had our own Disney Channel, they'd probably riot. 

That what I was thinking.  But thanks to Ryan Cracka, I see the truth now. 



Brainwashing.  The only logical explanation.  And if I know anything, it's that a guy named "Ryan Cracka" is gonna have his finger on the pulse of Black America.  He continues: 



He couldn't finish educating me, because he said I was putting words in his mouth.  I was only trying to interpret his words into a form that I could use, because we're not smart enough to figure out shit on our own.  Here I was thinking that black people wanted to see themselves represented in television, media, and politics, but that's crazy talk.  The simple answer is obviously 30 to 40 years of training freethinking human beings to succumb to the will of your political enemies in an attempt to gain voter loyalty.  Obviously. 

The best part is, it's not even our fault.  It's Nancy Pelosi's fault, evidently.  Or, uh...George Soros, I guess.  Whoever keeps getting that thoughtful Sean Hannity so worked up.  I would be more familiar with Fox News, but I've been brainwashed to segregate myself by watching BET.  In fact, I gotta wrap this up, because there might be some reruns of "The Game" on.

And only conservatives care enough about us to fight this injustice.  After all, you don't see them taking on Asians or Indians for segregating themselves, and they've been doing it for longer than America's been in existence.  So, the next time you see a Republican on TV using coded language like "thugs" or "welfare queens," trying to roll back voting rights, editing all of the slavery out of history books, or cutting spending for funding at HBCUs, just remember that they're doing it for you, to make things fair for everybody.  Because once we all hit rock bottom, we're going to look up and see the white conservatives standing over us again.  Just like they think it should be.

You bleeding assholes.

Monday, July 01, 2013

Paula Deen is full of lard-laced shit: One Man's Opinion

If it was just about the fact that Paula Deen said the n-word, I probably wouldn't care at all.  I mean, she's just some old Southern woman who bleeds butter.  Aesthetically, there's no difference between her and Honey Boo Boo's mom.  So not only do I not care that she said that word, I would call her a liar if she tried to say she didn't say it.  White people, for whatever reason covet that word.  It isn't about freedom or fairness.  I just think they want to be allowed to call us "niggers" again.  Seriously.

Everything Paula Deen said lines up with that.  For one, I don't believe that she said the word once, 30 years ago, after the highest of high pressure situations.  If you're thinking about racial hatred during a time like that, then you're thinking about that shit all the time.  The rest of us are thinking shit like, "I hope I get to see my family again," or "Am I wearing clean underwear?" 

Also, her brother is an unrepentant racist, if the lawsuit against Paula Deen is to be believed.  Not only did she allow him to be said unrepentant racist around a business that she was funding, she allegedly turned a blind eye to it.  Allegedly.

So yeah, let's not act like she has a problem with the word being said.  All those histrionics about the word making her physically ill is just bullshit.  You can always tell when someone is lying about this kind of stuff when they claim that it hurts them physically.  "Hearing these young boys call each other that word is just like a sledgehammer to my uterus."  Look, I'm actually black and hearing the word doesn't cause me any physical pain.  In fact, it probably should, seeing how it pertains to me and my race.

Then, in interviews, she tried to put a positive spin on slavery, which is kind of like TRYING TO PUT A POSITIVE SPIN ON SLAVERY. What the fuck is wrong with you, you gravy-filled wench?  Who in their right mind would try to convince people that slavery in America was a family environment?  Slavery in America was probably the worst type of slavery ever, because it was a business.  Slaves were no longer people, they were commodities.  There was no light at the end of the tunnel; no time where slaves could expect to be freed.  Slaves were worked until they died.  And they weren't even treated as human beings.  At best, they were considered to be really smart pets.  Maybe I shouldn't expect her to know that, since none of it was written on a slab of bacon.

Now, I know that people like to think of their dogs as family members in 2013, but that concept is a recent, American creation that's maybe 20 years old.  Before that, it was a common training practice to shove your dog's nose in his own piss to housebreak him.  And during slavery times, slaves weren't considered much better than dogs.  And this greasy diabetes machine expects me to believe that her family treated their slaves as family?  Yeah, until one of them learned to read.  Then, they'll be hung or beaten to death for their insolence.  That's exactly how we treat our family when they try to educate themselves.

And as a final insult, she wanted to have a plantation style wedding with black men dressed up as slave waiters.  Because, why the fuck not?  All of the family should be invited to the wedding, but some of them have to work and not make eye contact with anyone else, because the other family members will take it as a personal insult.  I guess we were supposed to be honored by that or something.  I'm almost certain that there wouldn't have been any black guests invited.  It would only confuse Paula's brother when he decided to assault the help and saw black people sitting down or smiling. 

But what am I supposed to think when someone not only tries to blunt the blow of slavery, but then thinking that making it a wedding theme is a good idea?  When people deny the Holocaust, they're considered batshit crazy.  For example, two well-known Holocaust deniers are Mel Gibson's dad and Former Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  Neither is known for his credibility on any topic, including "gravity" or "if the earth is round."  But this deep-fried asshole can say "slaves = family" and then try to recreate the experience.  And you wonder why Wal-Mart got rid of her.  Wal-Mart.  And that's a company that would still be selling you lead lined Chinese breakfast cereal if they hadn't gotten caught doing it. 

So, no, I don't believe that she only said it once 30 years ago.  I believe she's said it lots of times in the years since.  I'm not a person who believes that every white person who says the word is racist, because that's stupid, considering how many "down white boys" there are out there who are ignorant as hell.  I do think that they are disrespectful, and just don't care about the effect that word can have. All they care about is their own wants.

Of all of the words in the history of speech, that's the one they want to use.  The really fucked up one.  They could have chosen "titmouse," or "resplendent," but no, "nigger" is the one they want, since I know these assholes don't read.  So, since this means so much to you, ignorant white folks (I know all white people don't want to say it, and for that, I thank you), let's make a deal:  You can say the word as much as your ignorant heart sees fit, and in exchange, I get to bust out your fronts with a lead pipe.  Deal?