I've been watching wrestling for about twenty years. Yes, I'm that old. And never has there been a time where wrestling has been as bad as it is right now. Things have gotten so bad that I actually question why I watch this stuff. Seriously...why do I cordon off every Monday night to watch sweaty, muscle-bound men roll around in the ring, pretending to fight?
When I was a kid, I believed it. It was real. Hulk Hogan couldn't be stopped. Randy Savage was actually going to kill Hulk Hogan. The Million Dollar Man shoving hundred dollar bills down Jake Roberts' throat really did damage his esophagus. No, Jake Roberts and Rick Martel really couldn't see each other through those hoods. And yes, The Undertaker really was a wrestling zombie. Sure, there was that unexplained phenomena of how the guys were unable to stop themselves from running off the ropes, but that was just something that hadn't occurred to me at the time. Piledrivers could be done without killing your opponent. They just had really strong necks, that's all.
When I was a teenager, it was chic. For the first time I can remember, it was okay to openly be a wrestling fan. My nWo and Austin 3:16 shirts were conversation pieces. Yeah, wrestling wasn't real, but I still felt it was worthy of respect. After all, it takes hard work to do what they do, night in and night out. Sure, the occasional moron needed to be argued down, but overall, it was a good time. I had begun to appreciate wrestling. I studied the finer points, the moves, the psychology of it all. To me, watching a good match was no different than watching a good basketball game. It wasn't competition anymore, but I liked when they pretended that it still was. As I got older, it became a soap opera, but it was still good. And it was exciting. You never knew what was going to happen next. Except for The Rock's catchphrases.
As a young adult, the unthinkable happened. WWF bought WCW. For those of us who grew up watching NWA and WWF, this was unheard of. And era was over. It brought curiosity, but it also brought apprehension. Curiosity because we wondered if we'd actually see WWF vs. WCW. We imagined matches with Stone Cold, The Rock, Triple H, and The Undertaker on one side and on the other, Ric Flair, Sting, Lex Luger, and Goldberg. None of it happened, of course. Apprehension because we secretly knew that competition is what drives innovation. The period of my teenage years, where wrestling was actually mainstream, came about because of competition. Those days might actually be over. And for the ones who remember when NWA and WWF were two entities that never acknowledged each other, when a wrestler would leave one promotion and show up in another under another name, with a fresh start and a whole roster of wrestlers to start feuds with...it was outright rejection. We knew the days of our youth truly were gone. A giant part of our youth was never to be seen again. At least, not with any respect.
And now, as an old man, I question myself. Not because i feel like I'm too old to watch this crap, but because I don't feel like the people who create the shows care about what's being shown. Those of us who truly love wrestling know that to be involved in it, you have to love it. To put up with the crap that goes on, the egos, the injuries, the politics, the constant grind...you have to be in love with wrestling to go through it all. And it just doesn't feel like the people who are making it truly do.
Those of us who truly love it remember back when they had territories, when the same wrestling you saw in Florida wasn't the same wrestling you saw in Georgia. When Jerry Lawler was the most hated man in Texas, but was practically God in Memphis. When "wrestling" wasn't a dirty word. There were no "characters." There were "gimmicks." There were no "storylines." There were "angles." When the reason for the feud was something as simple as missing the tag from your partner in a match, but that feud would become so big and so serious that the only way to settle it, after a year of constant fighting, was in a steel cage. When the show wasn't an infomercial to sell the monthly pay-per-view. I don't think the people in charge of "creative" understand any of that. And they haven't shown any effort to learn it. And it shows in what passes for a wrestling show these days.
They don't want a wrestling show. They want an action-adventure, high-octane, Monday Night soap opera. They want highly fleshed out characters with intricate motivations. There's nothing organic about it. They just kind of shoehorn everything together and try to force things to work. Wrestlers don't come out and wing it, in the ring or on the mic. Tag teams are thrown together and broken up two months later. Feuds come about not because two wrestlers might put on a good match, but because a pay-per-view is coming up and they've got to fill up the card. Everything is just wrong these days. They're really missing the important stuff here.
Earlier today, I was reading a user review for a martial arts movie where someone was complaining about the lack of story. The next review responded by basically saying that if you're watching a martial arts movie for the storyline, then you're missing the point. There's only so many ways to make two guys fight. I think the same thing goes for wrestling.
So "creative," next time you sit down to craft a storyline for two wrestlers...think about that. If you're coming up with stuff like spilling hot coffee on each other to start a feud, or fighting over a shampoo commercial in Japan, or humping a mannequin that's supposed to be another wrestler's dead ex-girlfriend...you're thinking too hard. The classics never go out of style. Two guys fighting over a woman. One guy is tired of carrying his tag team partner. One guy is fighting to protect his hated manager who's being attacked by another wrestler. Instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, try building on what's come before. It's worked for a hundred years. Even "geniuses" like Cornette and Heyman don't stray too far from the norm. I know you don't think you're better than they are.
Just keep it "wrestling," instead of "soap opera."
There's some pretty good stuff out there, though. Or so I'm told. TNA is actually pretty good, although I'm not sure if my standards have been lowered so much that I'm fooled into thinking it's good. The new school wrestling with an old school mentality is working for them. I'm assured at least ONE good match if I watch WWECW. There's other stuff, too...like Ring of Honor and Jersey All Pro and Combat Zone...all these independents where the next generation is coming up. But I'm too old (or lazy) to try to keep up with all of that. That's too much work. I'm too used to the days when you'd simply change the channel to the competition if the show was no good. The ratings forced them to make it good. Except there's no competition now. So I guess that's why I watch...to see if it's ever going to get good again.
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