But why am I so defensive? I don't even like the Patriots. I mean, Rodney Harrison and Asante Samuel are cool, and if the Falcons had an offensive line half as good as theirs, Michael Vick wouldn't have taken that bump on the head that made him think he was a criminal mastermind. I could watch Randy Moss, Wes Welker, and Donte Stallworth until Cross Colours come back in style, but I flat-out despise Tom Brady, to the point where I could actually be considered a "hater." And there I was, rooting for the Patriots to blow teams out all season long. The Evil Empire.
This Patriots loss, however, is going to go down as the single biggest upset in professional sports. Bigger than Buster Douglas, bigger than Broadway Joe. Let's face it, the season, in the eyes of many, was decided in September (or in my case, before the ink dried on Randy Moss's contract). For Boston fans, the Red Sox winning the World Series was a nice surprise and the Celtics success has been icing on the cake, but the Patriots winning the Super Bowl this year was supposed to be sure thing, a foregone conclusion, kinda like "Cavemen" getting cancelled or when fat people enter a buffet. The Patriots losing this game was like watching six fat people at the buffet, but they're all on a diet. Just a horrible, horrible letdown.
It really doesn't hurt though, because I've never liked the Patriots in the first place. I've spent many an hour defending my stance that Tom Brady is not the bee's knees. I've wasted lots of time that I could have spent talking to girls or being productive claiming that Brady is merely a very good quarterback who benefits from a very balanced system. If anything, this loss gives my argument a little traction. This is the kind of loss that I've envisioned for five years for this team, and it came at the time when I was actually on their side, no matter how many ulcers it caused me. I couldn't wait for the game to be over so I could get back to hating Brady, like God intended. I had mentally written a column about it all two weeks ago.
As for the Giants, they played an awesome game. Their victory is like the ending to a movie or something. Starting with Michael Strahan's holdout, Tiki Barber's retirement and subsequent bashing of Eli Manning, the 0-2 start (with the defense giving up, like 80 points), Plaxico Burress's ankle kissing its health good-bye, the controversial decision to actually play the Pats in the last week (not knowing that it would inspire the Giants to beat that same team a month later), setting an NFL record with 11 straight road wins, everyone overwhelmingly picking against them in each round of the playoffs and ending the season with an emotional interview from Plaxico. It was more unreal than the ending to "Teen Wolf," and that movie involved an imaginary monster who played basketball.
The most interesting thing here is Tiki Barber's reaction to everything. I think he's just better of just changing his name to "Ronde," or better yet, "Shaun Alexander," because no one watches Seahawks games, anyway. No one will know the difference except for the obvious improvements in rushing yards.
But here was a guy who was supposed to set the broadcasting world on fire. Here was a guy who was supposed to have modeling and acting deals falling from the sky. Here's a guy who couldn't wait to get away from football and the Giants and start working the talk show circuit, even though he's never exhibited any real charisma or insight into anything, including football. And so, he spent the entire 2007-08 season playing quietly at the retarded kids' table on NBC's "Football Night in America," watching the team that he abandoned (and constantly insulted) exceed all expectations and win the Super Bowl, fighting back in the inevitable onslaught of history called the New England Patriots.
Good call, Tiki. You're a true wealth of knowledge.
Really, I wonder what it's like being Tiki Barber today. I mean, I'm sure he'll be alright, what with his adventures tag-teaming women with his brother, free Escalades, and diamond-encrusted dinosaur-egg breakfasts, but even still, this has got to sting. In one fell swoop, his entire retirement and broadcasting career was reduced to being the tell-all interview with an actor who just left a hit show to pursue an ill-fated movie career and the show got better in his absence. Congrats, Tiki. You are football's version of David Caruso on an old episode of Access Hollywood.
On another day, I would have been rooting for this team, because it's hard not to be proud of them, having seen what they had to deal with all season. And through it all, they beat that which was unbeaten, in addition to three other teams that were all supposed to be better. Even though I picked against you (four times, you bastards), congratulations to the New York Giants.
Still...it would have been nice to see an undefeated team. Oh, well. They'll all be back next year. It's not like they won't try it again.
No comments:
Post a Comment