There have been those who have asked me why I haven't had anything to say about this year's Atlanta Falcons, and my first reaction to that is, "Really? You really give a crap what I think?"
Then I thought it through a little more. Why haven't I had anything to say about the Falcons so far this year? They're a good team and I'm excited to see a good team for once. I have my opinions about this team just like the last few, but this team doesn't lend itself to nearly as many jokes as the comedy of errors known as "The Michael Vick Experience." When your coaching staff is dumb enough to run the same play for three straight downs despite the defense blowing it up every single time, you don't have to be Jon Stewart to get off a good one.
Not that I want the team to fail just so I can make jokes, but there's not a lot of mileage that I can get out of "Hey, this Dimitroff guy is making excellent decisions." He's not Rich McKay, who brought you such superstars as Jamaal "Begging to Get Cut" Anderson and "Hands of Stone" Michael Jenkins. Coach Mike Smith, while he has made mistakes, doesn't possess the historic levels of incompetence that makes players give up on the play before it's even run. He's not Bobby Petrino, who alienated Atlanta before the preseason started and didn't even have the common courtesy to get fired. He's not Jim Mora, Jr., who turned over his offensive playcalling to someone who didn't know how to call plays.
Also, for whatever reason, this season I've been avoiding the sportswriters community, which always provided me so many openings to show how a job in mass media doesn't mean that these people are smart. Whether its Skip Bayless giving himself a stroke on ESPN or the AJC's Terence Moore finding the negative side to the return of Jesus, I just haven't sought out their valuable counsel in these past months.
Personally, I blame my job for this. I know that a mature adult would take responsibility for their own actions, but if I were a mature adult, I wouldn't have a blog where I call Sarah Palin a complete imbecile. If you want me to write about the Falcons more, then help me get on at the AJC. Let's restart my campaign to get me hired there. Someone hire me a street team.
Now...having said all of that, the Atlanta Falcons are the best of the NFL's worst teams, which is an improvement on "Well, the Rams are still worse than us." Through seven games, they've lost to three good teams (Bucs, Panthers, Eagles) and beat one crappy team (Lions), one high school team (Chiefs), and two okay teams (Packers, Bears). As I write this, they are running away against a team that's so bad that the franchise should be retracted; the Raiders. I really don't think that the Raiders should even count as a real team. The last time the Falcons had a schedule this soft, they went 11-5 and fooled the country into thinking that they could run with the NFC Champion Philadelphia Eagles.
But this team is better than previous teams, just because the GM has realized that there are 52 other roster spots that need to be filled by good players. The Rich McKay method was to have Michael Vick carry the entire load on his back. The Thomas Dimitroff method is to build an real team with players who are capable of playing in the NFL (It actually occurred to him to have an offensive line that can keep people away from someone that isn't deep-fried and lying on their plates) with coaching that can actually adjust to what's happening on the field (Hey! Let's mix up the playcalling!). I think his method is working.
Even the guys that have been here and failed are playing better than they ever have. Former whipping boys for me like Michael Jenkins and Jerious Norwood...it's like someone sat them down and showed them how to actually play football. So what we need to do is find that person, take up a collection, and get them some free gas or extra lap dances at the Pink Pony or something, because who knew that Michael Jenkins was worth a damn as a football player? For far too long, he's been that girl who was cute, but too big to have an exposed midriff. But this past offseason, her aunt came over and showed her that low-rise jeans mixed with a muffintop stomach wasn't cute. Now, she's catching touchdowns from guys who don't look to take advantage of a girl with low self-esteem. I just got lost in my own metaphor.
All in all, I think that we, as Falcons fans, can finally say goodbye to always being at the bottom of the barrel. We are no longer one of the teams that make the faces of other teams light up. We're now one of the teams with the lit-up faces. Before you know it, we'll have our back-to-back winning seasons and playoff runs, just like all the other teams that have had competent management. So, while this might be just a bit premature, let me thank Arthur Blank for finally realizing that just because Rich McKay is really good at math doesn't mean that he can build a football team.
The Falcons are now 5-3.
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