So Hulk Hogan has told the world that he understands OJ. I don't understand what the newsworthy part is supposed to be.
Aside from the fact that OJ did not kill his wife (hewasacquittedthereforeinnocentintheeyesofthelaw), Hulk Hogan relating to OJ isn't exactly a surprise. He said it himself: Hulk Hogan owns a 20,000 square foot home that he can't live in and some punk kid is driving around an Escalade that he paid for. There isn't a man alive who can't understand what he and OJ felt. You don't have to be rich to get it.
So this is not controversial at all to me. He's basically a real life version of that Chris Rock joke: "Now, I ain't saying he shoulda killed her...but I understand."
Yeah, it's probably funny to women that Linda Hogan gets to have her way and Hulk Hogan has to foot the bill. He shouldn't have done whatever it was he did to make her divorce him, right? It's always that same bullshit.
It's shit like this that makes me say that rich people should never get married. My mom thinks I'm crazy for saying it, but if I ever came into some money, I'd stay single forever. I don't even have to get rich; I could just start earning and six-figure salary and marriage is gonna stop being an option. Get married for what? It's cool right now, when the only thing I own is a computer and a car that's older than a good portion of the women I know. I can get married because if it doesn't work out, I don't have anything to lose.
But if I had money, I can't ever have an off day, because the second my wife decides she wants out, she can leave...and half of money goes with her. Next thing you know, my wife and some other dude are getting buckin' naked in my bed with the 700-thread count sheets and I'm renting an apartment across town. The judge says I gotta make sure she's living comfortably, but I'm not even living comfortably, because I can't afford to.
There's only two ways I'd get married if I was rich. One: Pre-nup. Two: She's gotta have more money than me. If I'm rich and you don't wanna sign the pre-nup, I hope your W-2s match up to mine, because I ain't helping no one change tax brackets. There's nothing in it for rich men, ever. No benefit at all.
"What about love or a family," you might ask. He could have that regardless of how much he makes. Lots of men have a family just because the condom broke, and love isn't a requirement for a successful marriage. His money didn't get him a family and if it did, the woman should be out on the streets, anyway. They call women like that "hookers."
Not only that, marriage is something that women are really after. Generally speaking, men can take it or leave it. Eventually, we come around, but that's not a natural way of thinking for us. Why do you think we sleep around so much?
But if the family breaks up, you don't ever hear of the man getting over at the woman's expense. The only example anyone ever has is Kevin Federline and even though Britney Spears was coked out, shaving hair off, and not wearing draws, Federline still only got a million. If the roles were reversed, Britney would be kicking off a world tour to coincide with her hastily completed album called, "These Alimony Payments Are Kicking My Ass."
So get off of Hulk Hogan's back, especially if you're a man. Even though Hulk Hogan is 55 years old, he's gotta keep working just so Linda can have a place to live and thousands of dollars of food. Even though he's got a bad hip, two bad knees, and just had back surgery, I'll bet you he's gonna have to wrestle again. All because she feels like she has to bleed him dry and instead of trying to show some independence, she'd rather just whine to the judge about being "accustomed to" the lifestyle.
If I was Hulk Hogan, I would have said it, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment