It's not that Texas is great; it's that it's okay to be stupid there. It's a state that doesn't let a little thing like intelligence keep you from governing over others. Look at the retards you guys keep putting in office.
There's George W. Bush, whose clear and unfettered stupidity had me wondering exactly how much money George 41 paid for his son's "C" average at Yale. There's Sheila Jackson-Lee, the US Representative who's only claim to fame is suggesting that the US Weather Service start using stereotypical "Black" names for hurricanes, so as not to appear racist. The Texas Board of Education voted to ban schools there from teaching the theoretical age of the universe just two weeks ago. Chairman of the Board Don McElroy says that "someone has got to stand up to experts," with all their knowing stuff and reading. He then accused all experts of being "witches."
Now, we can add Texas State Rep. Betty Brown to the list for the statement she recently made. She told Chinese-American lawyer Ramey Ko that Asian-Americans having trouble with voter registration should choose new names, "easier for Americans to deal with."
Because it's just too much to ask for Americans to learn to pronounce something that's not in English. Only in America would someone say something this stupid. Really, the only question is, "Who's dumber: Brown or Jackson-Lee?"
She had to have been doing this on purpose, because outdoing Sheila Jackson-Lee's battle against hurricane bigotry took some work. She had to dig deep in the bag to get on that level, because what Mrs. Jackson-Lee said was so stupid that it offended the Earth. That's why Hurricane Katrina came in and wrecked shit like it did.
But I think Brown might have a leg-up in this "Battle of the Stupids." Her comment was not only stupid, but racist, too. On and unrelated note, she's also a Republican, the same party that supports a woman who's so dumb, she can't even tell you what she reads (Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin), a man who wouldn't accept extra unemployment funds and suggested his constituents use prayer to keep from becoming homeless (Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina), a woman who's always in the news for saying something insane (Google 'Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann') and another guy who apparently agrees with selling out his heritage, because he changed his name from "Piyush" to "Bobby (Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal)."
Just because it worked for one of your party members who was looking for some mass appeal doesn't mean that everyone's okay with that idea. Who would I be to suggest to another human being that they should change their name just because I'm not smart enough to say or spell it? It's not the same thing as changing your shirt or pulling your pants up. This is their family name, which means way more to Asians than it does to us. It's a link to their parents, their grandparents, their ancestors who shared that same name through the centuries. But, no, Betty Brown thinks that they should change it just because she can't get her ass off the short bus.
Really, going by her rationale, I should have changed my name, too, because it's been a bitch going through life named "Thaddeus." People can't be expected to say all of those syllables all in the proper order and stuff. There's like, eight letters in my name.
So what I did was, I went to the Betty Brown Name Generator and got a new name. I will now be known, henceforth, as Billy-Ray "Wal-Mart" Brown. But only in Texas, where I know the residents have trouble with multiple syllables, subject-verb agreements and are not allowed to know that the universe is roughly 14 billion years old.
Now that's change you can believe in.
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