I've decided that every so often I'm going to do this, really because I enjoy doing it. Just me and my opinion on random topics that it wouldn't make sense to write a whole blog entry about when I can sum it up in just a few sentences.
...The Masters Tournament?
No opinion at all. Not because I'm uniformed, but more like because i don't care. This whole thing got a lot less interesting when the controversy about Hootie Johnson not letting women into the club at Augusta National died down. I still fail to understand how a private club can be forced to let someone in. They call them "private" for a reason. Should the Black Panthers have been forced to accept white people?
...Scientology?
Does anyone even know what these people believe? I assure you, it's no more or less ridiculous than believing that a man can rise from the dead, manipulate the molecules of water, fish, and bread, or that an omnipresent force has nothing better to than to listen to you whine.
...Petey Williams' finisher, the Canadian Destroyer?
It's not that good of a wrestling move if the opponent is doing more work to pull the move off than you are.
...Cynthia McKinney's run in with the cops?
Man, this security guard probably makes an hourly wage. Let him do his job. Because the sooner he confirms your identity, the sooner you can get done doing what you have to do so you can make your appointment at the hair salon, which you clearly missed.
...Kobe Bryant?
Just so I don't miss another 81 point outburst, I've been watching the Lakers every chance I get. Whats been funny is watching Lamar Odom try to keep Kobe from getting the ball. Arent they on the same team? Kobe could be standing next to Odom, wide open, and Odoms going to try to force a pass to Kwame Brown in the low postand Browns not even looking at him. He wont even pass the ball back to Kobe during the lay-up drill for fear that he wont see it again. Im looking forward to the tell-all book that Lamar Odom puts out after he gets traded. This will happen after Odom football passes the ball right into Kobes face from about two feet away.
...Terrell Owens?
Of all the teams he could have signed with, it HAD to be the Cowboys.
...Keyshawn Johnson?
Of all the teams he could have signed with, it HAD to be the Panthers.
...Canadian wrestlers?
You know guys, there are other submission finishers besides the sharpshooter.
...Yahoo Customer Service?
Can I really complain about their customer service if I didn't buy anything?
...X-Men: The Last Stand?
From the trailer I saw on TV last week, this will probably be the best one of the three. Then again, I might just be thinking that because I don't like Bryan Singer. Only thing I can argue with so far is the casting of Juggernaut. Know who they shoulda got? "The Next Big Thing" Brock Lesnar.
...Batman?
He spent 2005 taking foot to ass. I can't argue with that. I'm glad to see it because comic book fans worldwide have made me detest Batman. Prior to this, things had gotten so ridiculous with him that I was waiting for him to change his name to Super-Batman.
...XBox 360?
It doesn't bother you that Microsoft just hit you up for $300 just back in 2001?
...Katie Holmes' "silent birth?"
Seriously, why do you care? This is about as newsworthy as Paris Hilton. Someone please tell me why this is controversial. All I know about this entire situation is that Tom Cruise is a fucking loon.
...American Idol?
Okay, I admit to watching some of it this year. And I'm secure enough in my manhood to say that Chris Daughtry is dreamy. There's your winner right there, folks.
...personalized license plates?
All I ask is that the plate either has some meaning or is funny. If the best you can do is to tell me what kind of car it is, that's $300 you could have lit cigars with or blown on coke and hookers. Listen, I know I'm not the smartest guy out there, but I'm just unretarded enough to look a foot and a half to the left or right to read what kind of car it is myself.
...bad drivers?
They're lucky I'm not rich, because if I was, I'd ram my car into theirs every chance I got, laws and public safety be damned. Hell, I'm rich. I can afford it. Rich people can afford to be unrepentant.
...Ron Artest?
It was almost like in 2005, he competing with Terrell Owens to see who could be the bigger jackass. In this exclusive interview with Ron Artest, he confirms that this was, in fact, the case:
"Terrell Owens, you think youve done some stupid shit? Well, you cant even begin to compare to the levels of stupidity that Im striving for this year. Not only am I going to do what you did, in ruining my teams championship hopes, but Im gonna take it a step further, with this (shows his misspelled record label name Tru Warier cut into the back of his head)! Dont forget, yall, the albums coming soon! In response to questions about using an out of style haircut for promotion, These CDs arent gonna sell themselves and I wont let a thing like fashion or intelligence stand in my way of a platinum plaque," he was quoted as saying before the wood-selling CD was released.
...WWE's Hall of Fame ceremony?
Never, NEVER, give the Blackjacks a live mic again.
...the R&B scene?
I'm might be showing my age, but remember the days when you could tell the R&B singers and rappers apart?
..."The Jesus Papers?"
Well, it's bound to piss off a lot of Christians, which means I'll definitely read it. Something must be wrong with me, because I shouldnt find so much humor in something that can completely destroy the underpinnings of someones faith.
...The State of the Union address?
He wanted to talk about the dangers of human-animal hybrids. Im not fucking kidding. I'll bet suddenly a boring zombie like John Kerry doesn't sound so bad anymore, between this goof and a homicidal Vice-President.
...Flavor of Love?
I wont watch it. I tried, but I couldnt go a full two minutes before I had to change the channel due to something stupid happening. Might as well have Flavor Flav do his best coon act on live TV. People talk about shows that set black folks back, but this one actually does it. For those people out there who say that Flavor Flav is a smart brother and talk about how deep hes supposed to be, I present this show as evidence to the contrary. CHUCK D was deep. Flavor Flav is a fucking clown.
...The Boondocks?
They should make Samuel L. Jackson a permanent cast member. Hes the only reason I even liked the episode I saw. Well, him and Charlie Murphy. Imma send this bitch a smiley face. Bitches like smiley faces.
...immigration reform?
What part of illegal immigrant is confusing you people? Youre already committing a crime just by being here. If you were justified in your actions, you wouldnt have to run when the INS van rolls up. Youre lucky white people havent started shooting you in the streets.
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