I am by no means a football expert, however it would seem to my untrained, yet completely competent eyes that Falcons offensive coordinator Greg Knapp isn't even looking at the plays when he calls them in. Somewhere behind the water cooler, he has a game of lawn darts set up, and in the circles are the plays he has to choose from. The cameras never seem to catch this, but my highly intelligent eyes are onto your little game. Greg Knapp must be fired before my eyes start pulling their hair out. We just can't take this anymore.
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a long spiel about how Michael Vick was screwing up. The next week, he threw four touchdowns as if he was throwing a huge "f-you" right at my groin. This week, he kept it going, with his groinally charged attack. The decision making was on point, he wasn't forcing throws, he wasn't forcing runs. For the first time since 2003, I didn't have a bad thing to say about Michael Vick. I'll go so far as to say that if this is how he's going to play all the time, I'll take back everything I've said about him. He's that good...when he's on. Like I said last week, this is the Michael Vick worthy of all the hype.
But things aren't perfect down here in Atlanta. As good as the offense was in the first half and most of the second, I have to believe that Greg Knapp had some money on the Bengals to win this game, because he did everything in his power to make the Falcons lose.
Like I said, I'm no football expert, but I know enough to know that if the passing game is working, you keep going to it. If you're up by 9 points with 5 minutes to go, you need to move the chains. Yes, you need to run time off the clock, but you also have to sustain a drive. And if your run game hasn't given you anything all day, why would you go back to it at a crucial point like that? I was waiting for Knapp to tear off his Falcons polo to reveal a Bengals shirt, just before he started into a diabolical laugh. In my mind, he would sound like Skeletor.
And as if to say, "Yes, Greg Knapp is the moron we thought he was," the Bengals used all of one play, and 30 seconds, to bring them within two points. Yes, the defense gave up the points. But the defense also shouldn't have been out there. If we had an offensive coordinator here who used a method other than "accidental" to call plays, the offense would have probably scored.
And as dumb as that drive was, the drive before it was worse, because the offense was about to score, before Knapp pulled the plug on six more points. He must have thought he was about to lose his house or something, because he was betting on the point spread.
They were steadily moving the chains. Even Roddy White was catching passes. And just when you thought even Knapp couldn't screw up the good situation they were in, he did just that. He ran the ball on third and long (remember, they hadn't been able to run the ball all day), to try to get better field goal position, when their receivers were in position to score from 30 yards out.
Yes, the Falcons won, but they could have won by 16, instead of 2. And it's all Greg Knapp's fault. I hope Ed Donatell catches you behind the bleachers after the game. Seriously, I needed a drink after this one. It's hard watching your hometown team actively try to lose a game. Bill Belichick would have eaten this team alive doing crap like they did in the second half today.
While this team has a very good chance of doing some things in the playoffs, they're going to screw it up as long as Greg Knapp is at the helm. So I'm sending the call out now: $50 to whoever can get him fired. Apparently, he's not doing a good enough job of getting himself fired, because he's still got a job, despite the fact that he calls plays like he's not even watching the game. Maybe he's trying to call plays for the games that he sees on the jumbotron.
I hate you, Greg Knapp. You're going to be the death of me. Probably sometime during the playoffs.
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