Sunday, December 07, 2014

CM Punk should be your hero

Seems like everyone has had a few choice words for CM Punk this year, whether it was because he left, how he left, or because he explained his reasons for leaving. Everyone seems to think he's a bitch for walking out on Vince McMahon, like doing the right thing matters in that situation.  In 2011, he was cool for saying everything we had been saying about the company, but now, he's whining. And I don't get that, because the people who are talking shit should really understand where he's coming from. I know I do.

Right now, I'm working a job that I hate. It isn't the first time, but hopefully, it'll be the last time. I get burnt out dealing with the same, easily fixable bullshit that happens around here, or being told that management is listening, but they ignore you when you show up with ideas. Or having to be the one who takes the hit when other people can't or won't do their job correctly. That shit gets tiring and stressful, and if it wasn't for the fact that I don't have millions in the bank, I'd tell that place to go fuck themselves expeditiously.

So I understand where Punk is coming from, and that's before you factor in that he had to risk his already injured body to make dangerous people like Ryback look good for six nights a week. No matter how much money you make, some days, you just lie in bed and dread the amount of shit that's coming your way.  And goddammit, you just don't want to deal with it anymore.

Maybe we don't want to understand his side because he's living our dream, and we think that's what we want. And because it looks awesome, that's what he should want, too. He ain't digging a ditch.  He travels and he's famous.  He gets to be at Comic-Con and on Talking Dead.  Plus, he's a millionaire, and stupid people think that means you lose your right to complain.  But that's part of the problem, and like Punk says, Vince is taking advantage of that.

Just because everyone wants it and thinks they're willing to put up with it or its been done this way for so long doesn't mean it's correct. Slavery was practiced in America for 400 years. Rape and dowries used to be a part of the courtship process. Drilling holes in the skull used to be a legitimate medical practice. And just because John Cena is willing to go 400 days straight with no break doesn't mean that CM Punk should have to suffer in silence. If he isn't physically or mentally capable of holding up anymore, for whatever reason, then he should go home.

And that's before we get into the petty shit that WWE does.

Yeah, WWE is petty, and we've known this since the Huckster and Scheme Gene. We've lambasted WWE for decades because Vince McMahon is a very small man when he wants to be. He was the bad guy when he did those skits and he continued to be the bad guy up until he fired Alberto del Rio for slapping a racist backstage. He lets all sorts of bigots, sexists, and bullies run rampant in his locker room. He encouraged his wrestlers to use steroids, while at the same time telling those wrestlers that they didn't really work for him.  And even though they didn't really work for him, when they left his employ, he limited their employment opportunities elsewhere (no-compete clauses). He's your best friend when he can make money off of you, and when you're all used up, ready to die, or completely hate the business, you never hear from him again. And people don't put up with it because they love fake fighting or because they're heroes. They put up with it because they've been raised to believe that this is how it's supposed to be, as long as Vince is paying you.  For one guy, the money wasn't incentive enough to keep coming back. And that's the guy you call a bitch?

Man, fuck that. You've walked away from jobs and people for way less, so miss me with this shit about how Punk should have stuck it out or that WWE was somehow in the right. If Punk's story is correct, he went home because he was hurt and burnt out, WWE didn't want to fix anything that was wrong with him (because he's an "independent contractor"), then they fired him on his wedding day (and of course they knew all about it, because fucking AJ Lee had to have that time off).  If Punk's story wasn't true, don't you think WWE would have immediately sued him for telling it?  Don't you think they would have responded online? Vince had the floor just last week on Stone Cold's podcast, and didn't refute a damn thing. 

No, I don't fault CM Punk at all. In fact, I'm jealous, because I wish I could do that shit.

Because as badly as I'd like to see him cutting promos and giving me one solid reason to watch WWE, now he's living my dream. He has the freedom, like Chris Jericho or Rob Van Dam, or John Morrison before him to go explore the other shit that they like to do. And if he ever decides he wants to wrestle again, he can. And if not, he doesn't have to.  CM Punk should be your hero, because he told the establishment to kiss his ass, and legally speaking, they did it. 

Only this time, it wasn't kayfabe.  And that's unfortunate, because I was hoping he'd demand the ice cream bars again. 

Saturday, November 08, 2014

Dion Waiters doesn't have to stand for the National Anthem, and neither do you

I swear, y'all get so touchy about the wrong shit.

There's a story going around that Dion Waiters, shooting guard for the Cleveland Cavaliers, declared that he isn't standing for the National Anthem anymore, because of his religious beliefs.  He's a Muslim, and as we all know, Muslims hate America.  Well, we would all know that if we all did the right thing and watched Fox News.  

And as you'd expect, there's a whole lot of people mad at him, because reacting without knowing reasons is so commonplace in America that you'd think it was in the Constitution.  To let the folks I saw online tell it, we should all be offended that he hates America so much, and that he should go play in the Middle East if he loves Islam so much.  Only the most measured and reasonable responses go on the internet.  It's not like he'd stand for the National Anthem over there, either.

Now, as an old man, it isn't the first time I've seen this.  I remember when Chris Jackson, later known as Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, of the Denver Nuggets (and hated Gulfport High School), did the same thing back in 1996, for the same reasons.  He eventually decided to stand and pray, as a way to, um...what's the word that means "meeting in the middle?"  Compromise.  You'll have to excuse me for forgetting the word, but it never happens in our culture anymore, so I haven't needed to remember it. 

But in the meantime, people went crazy, just like they're on the verge of doing now.  Insults, death threats, the whole nine.  And over the stupidest of reasons:  Over a song written by a slave owner who ironically didn't want his own freedom restricted.  And for a song about freedom, people out here sure are hell-bent on Dion Waiters not keeping his.

After all, it isn't a crime not to stand for the National Anthem.  It's a nationalistic custom that became codified, but no one ever goes to jail for this, and people refuse to stand for the National Anthem all the time.  Hell, I've personally refused to stand for the National Anthem before.  And it's not like there aren't things happening in America that give people reasons to feel like America isn't with them.  Dion Waiters is black and a Muslim.  Buddy's got a list.  

But he probably isn't doing it for those reasons, anyway (although he'd be justified).  It isn't some political statement that he's making.  Muslims simply believe (according to the Google research I did right before sliding into an endless vortex of Salon articles. There's one that explains why we have pubic hair. Pubic hair.) that they're not supposed to humble themselves or stand in veneration for anyone except Allah.  There's a lot I don't agree with when it comes to Islam, but I have no problem with that.  After all, they're trying to stay good with their omnipotent and eternal Creator, and you want to give them grief about a custom built up around a song written 200 years ago that'll probably be forgotten in another hundred.  When it comes to historical importance (from their perspective), you might as well be mad at them for not wanting to do the Schmoney Dance. 

And if you're a Christian (and most of you are claiming to be, because atheists really don't care that much), you probably should back up off all this anger, because your religion says something similar, all up in the Bible.  Yeah, revering this flag and song is tantamount to idolatry.  I'm an unrepentant heathen, and even I know that your God doesn't like that.  Come on now, you know that dude is jealous and angry.  You think he's gonna be reasonable about your nationalism?  I guess you could throw Romans 13:1 at me (Google it, like I did), but again, there's no authority that says you have to stand for the flag.  Just advisory rules that suggest how you observe the custom.  

Really, none of this means anything at all, because while Dion Waiters didn't stand for the National Anthem in Utah on Wednesday (he was still in the locker room), he did stand for it Friday night in Denver.  Waiters says that the story isn't true at all (might not even be a Muslim), and what's more likely is that he was pouting about being pulled from the starting lineup in Utah.  Waiters has been talking shit about how he should start from the minute LeBron said he was coming back to Cleveland, so I'm sure he wasn't happy about coming off the bench.  But I felt like I should address it, because I know how Americans like to overreact about meaningless things.  

It's what I get for insisting on reading the comments.  Never read the comments.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Blogger Can't Pull Her Head Out Of Her Own Ass: The Eric Garner Edition

It took a lot of effort to write this and not make it about trashing feminists.  I just feel like I need to you let you know that up front.

I don't need to tell anybody that the Eric Garner murder by the NYPD is all fucked up.  I think we all agree there.  And I'm not telling you that you have to go protest and hit up every rally that breaks out, because let's be totally honest:  I won't be there, either.  I am a lazy person in general, and I work ten hour days in a city whose only defining characteristic is heavy traffic.  I barely even visit my parents, let alone attend protests.

So there's no shame in not attending any of those marches, and I'm not just saying that to cover my own ass.  But if that's what you're gonna do, just don't be a self-involved dickhead like this lady, who wrote a piece over at "For Harriet," (read it here) where she declares that she won't join any protests for Eric Garner because men don't support the fight against misogyny.  I was gonna call her a "twat," but I don't want my own inherent misogyny to take this discussion off course.  I think "dickhead" is a fair compromise.

Kimberly Foster, the writer of this piece, argues that, while she will shed tears over Eric Garner (because there are no other ways to express sadness or sympathy with this family than writing that you're literally shedding tears), she will not join the fight for justice, because we men have not converted to full time feminists.  To fully drive her point home, she also says in the piece, "you're not my friend anymore," and "I'm taking my toys and going home."  It's the kind of writing that exemplifies why people make fun of thinkpieces.

It really is a childish argument to make, that she's not going to do anything for him, because all of us (penis-wielders, that is) don't do anything for her kind (feminists, I assume).

Now, to be fair, men really don't do much for women's rights, or understand how women navigate a world where there are a lot of men are trying to fuck them, regardless of their wishes.  I'm stealing this line from Louis C.K., but essentially, the number one threat to women are men.  And it's true.  Men stay raping women, killing women, beating women, insulting women, calling them names because they told them no, putting them in those ratchet ass strip club rap videos, you name it, we do it.  Generally speaking, the number one skill that men have is hurting women or breaking down their sense of self-worth.  To put it in Madden terms, we have a 99 ranking in that department.  And speaking of Madden, that's our number two skill.

It's not all men that act like this, but from a woman's perspective, she doesn't know who is or isn't going to be that asshole, and has to keep her guard up.  I get that.  While it isn't 100% of men who act like that, probably 99% percent of people who act like that towards women are men.  The remaining 1%?  Bull dykes, I guess.  Are we still calling them "bull dykes?" I don't even know if that's offensive.  Anyway, these statistics probably aren't 100% accurate, because "the inside of my ass" isn't a legitimate source.

And yet, because all men aren't on board with her crusade (which is a worthy cause), she isn't going to take up this crusade.  As if women aren't wrongly arrested, assaulted, or killed by the police.  This isn't a man/woman issue, because the cops don't give a fuck about anybody.  She must have missed that video where the cop pinned the lady down with his knees and started teeing off on her face.  I wish I could have seen the little hamster inside her head stumble on his running wheel as she was thinking this shit up.

Just because it was a man this time, that excuses her from all protesterly duties.  She'll save her bile and rage for when it's a woman being assaulted by the police, so she can charge him with a violation of her rights and misogyny.  She ain't getting out the bed for no less than misogyny.

This is the divide-and-conquer shit that prevents justice from being served.  While you're drawing your line in the sand, the police are still beating on people with impunity.  But don't worry about that, because reciprocity is the more important hill to die on.  All you're doing is showing that when the shit goes down, you're not gonna be there.  And if you're not gonna be there, that's fine.  Just don't paint yourself as someone who's taking a noble stand by leaving people hanging when they need help.  You ain't no hero. Anybody can do what you're doing.  Ignoring homeless people on the street can give you that same sense of self-satisfaction.  What you're doing is trying to position yourself as some sort of victim, when you're actually someone who can't think outside of themselves for five minutes before you have to ask, "What about me?"

But hey, it's your blog.  Whatever works for you.

Friday, May 09, 2014

Josh Gordon ain't no political prisoner (also, weed is delicious)

Rob Van Dam once talked about how all these world class athletes all smoked weed.  Can't find the quote, but he said something to the effect of, "Why is it that all of the finely tuned athletes who know so much about their bodies are choosing to smoke weed?"  Maybe it was Joe Rogan.  Anyway, they're basically saying that if there was something really wrong with it, these people would know and wouldn't use it.  I tend to believe them, because they both have (or had) shows built around smoking a lot of weed and talking about it, so I assume they'd know. 

I personally don't think there's anything wrong with weed.  I've said since I was a teenager, I'd rather my kids smoke weed than cigarettes.  And yet, it's still considered a part of the same category as heroin.  In the eyes of the law, weed and heroin are the same.  It's a ridiculous idea, because one has been killing people since it came out and the other is responsible for American weight gain.  They're not the same thing, and I think one of them should be legalized, even if it is responsible for putting Taco Bell on the map. 

Josh Gordon, wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns, obviously feels like I do, because he just failed a second drug test the other day.  He could be suspended for a year as a result. 

And like with all drug suspensions, some people are calling him stupid and other people are like, "hey, man, weed comes from the Earth, man."  Personally, I don't think it's worth an actual debate.  At least not about the rightness or wrongness of a Gordon suspension.  The debate needs to be about weed laws and how the NFL eventually will treat them, not whether or not it's fair that he could be suspended a year, while Ray Rice, who punched out his fiance in a casino (allegedly, even though we all saw the video of the aftermath), will be starting Week 1 of the season.  Or that Jim Irsay, who was arrested with pills and cash in a pillow case, got his situation swept under the rug.  It isn't.  We all know the NFL doesn't hand out punishment fairly. 

But Josh Gordon ain't no political prisoner.  He's a weed head.  And I don't even say that negatively, because weed heads are fun people to be around.  I don't know Josh Gordon, but I'm sure he isn't any different.  I don't really follow Cleveland sports, because reading about Cleveland makes dark thoughts crop up in my head, but I haven't heard anything about him being lazy or causing a problem up there.  In fact, he's a really good player, so clearly, he can handle his high.  But let's not act like this man is facing a grave injustice.  His civil rights aren't being violated.  The NFL has clear rules and testing procedures for weed.  I don't think they have one for punching your girlfriend in the face, otherwise, half the league would be actually be practice squad players, because everyone else was already suspended.

I'm not saying that to justify spousal abuse, either.  The NFL and the Players' Union need to crackdown on players who do stuff like this, unless it's good business for them to represent a gang of wifebeaters.  Even if it's just smashing their toes with a hammer, or a series of paper cuts, they need to do something to let players know that attacking their wives is not okay.  In a perfect world, they would do this and fight for a loosening of drug restrictions.  But there's no sense in that, because their only choices in this are "conform or nah?"  The NFL is never going to budge on this.  Ever. 

It was suggested (on Twitter, admittedly) that because weed helps with brain injuries and stuff like that, and because the NFL has a huge problem with brain injuries, Josh Gordon shouldn't be suspended.  And that sounds reasonable until you realize that we don't know if that's why Josh Gordon was smoking.  He might just like making smoke rings.  And we can't ask him now, because of course he's gonna say that's why he was doing it.  Hell, I'd tell you it was curing my crippling erectile dysfunction if it kept from me getting suspended.

Another thing to realize is, the NFL has proven that it doesn't give a shit about players and their stupid brain injuries.  To them, that's just a left-wing conspiracy cooked up to bleed the job creators dry.  That's why they hid information about brain injuries from the players and that's why they nickel and dime former players now.  Junior Seau shooting himself in the chest didn't mean anything to them.  They're far more concerned about the image of the league (WE GOTTA PROTECT THE SHIELD, MAN!), and while weed is still illegal, they're not going to change anything, no matter how many tests prove that it helps with brain injuries.  They won't even change if it's legalized, because after that, there will still be a lingering perception of weed as a "drug."  As far as the NFL's concerned, you better grab a fistful of somas or a cortizone shot and get back on the field. 

That's where the real debate needs to be.  Not whether or not Josh Gordon is getting screwed, because Ray Rice is living out his Mike Tyson fantasies and Jim Irsay is playing "Breaking Bad," and nothing's happening to them.  Unfortunately, the rule is the rule, and they don't have one for punching women or owners going to buy $29,000 in drugs.  Or smoking fake weed and jerking off in a parking lot (this one is absolutely true).  Or even for players causing a national security uproar at the airport.

See, that's the problem right there.  Josh Gordon isn't being as imaginative with his infractions as everyone else. 

Wednesday, May 07, 2014

Maybe Mark Jackson ISN'T a victim. MAYBE.

So Mark Jackson got fired from the Warriors yesterday, despite being the best coach they've had since the first time Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles came out.  Remember those days?  You could still buy a black and white TV.  Michael Jackson being white was a new thing. 

All the reports are saying that no one liked him and that's why he got fired.  Well, no one except the team.  You know, the most important people to impress.  Because there's plenty of coaches that got along great with the front office who would get outcoached at the YMCA youth league, which is why they now have a well paid job working the telestrator on ESPN.  ESPN is nature's way of removing shitty coaches from the business of winning basketball games. 

Logically speaking, though, that's probably the dumbest reason of all time to fire a coach.  The dude won 51 games, got the team into the playoffs the last two years, and has the support of the team.  You know, the guys who put asses in the seats.  He's making you money and he's winning games.  How fragile does your ego have to be to end all of that just because the coach doesn't like you, Joe Lacob?  I would say that coaches have been fired for less, but there will always be Jerry Jones and George Steinbrenner.  You have to sink to subhuman levels of pettiness to get where they are, but that's where Joe Lacob seems to be now.  Firing a coach for not getting along with the owner is like firing a coach who just won two Super Bowls for you, because the media didn't give you enough credit for putting the team together. 

Now, everyone's mad at the owner, because everyone loved Mark Jackson, and in basketball, that's important.  The media needs to like the coach, otherwise, they'll start a campaign to D'Antoni your team.  Of course the players have to like the coach.  The fans should like the coach, because they're buying tickets.  Who gives a fuck what the people working for the organization think?  No one's coming to see you.  And do you know how irrelevant the owner can be when it comes to public outreach?  Donald Sterling is a racist and has owned the Clippers for 33 years.  When he bought them, almost everyone I know was semen.  He's been a racist the whole time, and it hasn't stopped the Clippers from selling tickets. 

So as long Mark Jackson isn't messing up that cash, it really shouldn't matter.  Then again, scuttlebutt around the Bay says there's more to it than that. 

Word from the SF Gate has it that Mark Jackson, who is a pastor (I honestly had no idea until a few hours ago), and team president Rick Welts, who is "a gay (that's a quote from Donald Sterling)," were at odds about Welts's openly gay lifestyle.

Well, that changes everything.  Because if that's true, then it changes from a story about a sensitive ass owner to a guy who was openly insulting his boss.  'Cuz Mark Jackson wasn't shy about weighing in about gay issues in the NBA, and he didn't seem like the most gay-friendly guy.  On a scale from "one" to "Tim Hardaway," I would hope he was closer to "one," but he doesn't exactly sound welcoming.  When Jason Collins came out, Mark Jackson said something about having "beliefs of what’s right and what’s wrong."  He also said he was going to pray for Collins's family.  And as a guy who hasn't been to church since the last time the Warriors were good, someone saying that they're going to pray for you means that they want something about you to change.  By some accounts, Jackson really wasn't feeling "the gays."

And if this is true, it's probably going to become a thing about how a "God-fearing Christian man" lost his job because of his religious beliefs, and I'm going to start insulting people for being hypocrites again.  If it is true, Mark Jackson lost his job because he wouldn't shut the fuck up.  You can't go around insulting your boss, even if you believe your religion entitles you to shit on everyone else's lifestyle (it doesn't).  That's what this is about.  Mark Jackson isn't a victim when you put it like that.  Mark Jackson isn't even a man of conviction.  Mark Jackson is stupid.  Just because you believe something doesn't mean it needs to be said all the time. 

Besides, can you really get that mad about some religious guy getting fired by his openly gay boss?  It's actually kind of ironic, considering all of the roadblocks people are throwing up at gay people in the name of "religious freedom."  I almost hope this story is true, just so I can laugh at the people who get mad. 

But if it isn't true, then I retract all of that and I'll meet everyone at the picket line to cape up for Mark Jackson.  I'll have my trash can ready for optimal window-throwing and everything.  Promise.  

Friday, May 02, 2014

Darrell Trigg for President: Please let this happen.

We've reached that time when all manner of fringe elements have started declaring for the Presidential race.  Most of the people won't make it the distance because they don't have the resources to get onto the ballot (which is why we need electoral reform), or because they started running two years in advance and ran out of money.  And then, there are those who could have all the money they wanted and won't make it because they are just a fucking lunatic.  That's the category that Darrell Trigg falls into.

Darrell Trigg is an Engineering Consultant from Virginia, and I suspect that the only reason why this information got into his biography is because he had to prove that he wasn't some sort of drifter who killed an old widow for her money.  Aside from those four sentences, the other three pages are about how much he loves God.  Nothing wrong with that.  I just find it startling that a person who wants to be President has almost nothing to say about his employment history.  I mean, if you spend 30 years working at Target and now you want to be President, I'd like to know that, because if nothing else, I expect you to have good customer service skills. 

But Darrell is one of those kinds of people who really wants to be a pastor, but got the words mixed up and said "President" instead.  And being an old man, I see how something like that could happen.  When you see Darrell's platform, it'll all make sense, because this is a man whose only difference from the Taliban is that girls will still be able to go to school.  FOR NOW.

He wants to impose all kinds of holy restrictions upon all of us, and maybe 30 or 40 of you out there will think this is cool, but for the other 300 million, it's going to be a problem.  Well, not really, because it's not like this guy has a shot at winning, but if he did, someone would have him assassinated long before the election.  I'm not kidding.  If this man had a realistic shot at being seen on television outside of public access, he would alienate so many people that the Democrats and Republicans would forget about each other and tear this guy to pieces.  And now that I've said it, I truly hope to see something like that happen.

Thanks to The Everlasting GOP Stoppers and Joe My God for bringing this guy to my attention.  His platform is below and in italics, and I'll be chiming in here and there. 

1. Separation of Church and State will be changed to the Union of Church and State. God will be asked to be an integral part of the government of the U.S.
  • The national religion of The United States of America will be the Christian religion . Those belonging to other religions, such as Islam, will be free to live and worship here as now, with their own religion;  however, the Christian religion will be the one chosen to form the basic moral principles of our nation, to give it a strong moral foundation, and a right relationship with God.
See, right away, you'd think that he'd be cool with Republicans, because this is what they claim to want.  But don't you worry; this cozy relationship won't last long. 

2.  Public Schools – all schools supported by the U.S. Federal and State tax systems: 
  • The Bible will be a standard required subject in all public schools and universities, for all grades , the same as English and Math.
  • Each day of school will begin with prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance. 
  • The salary and total compensation package of school teachers will be increased.
  • The total budget for our school system will be increased.
  • The school day will include one period of physical education that includes 30 minutes of exercise four days per week.
There are actually some good ideas in here that aren't really ideas, but instead empty platitudes.  The people who would support increasing teacher salaries and school budgets have already checked out, though, because there's already too much religion in this.  I'd be surprised if they haven't already burst into flames.  Personally, I wish a motherfucker would tell me that my kid had to learn the Bible.  Hell, I'd make sure I was in college during his presidency just so I could tell him "fuck you" when he tried to make me learn it.  Digging myself further into debt would be totally worth it. 

3.  Homosexuality will not be recognized legally, or in any other manner, by the United States government or any state, city, or county government.
4. Public - Traded Corporations :
  • The income and other compensation,  received by the managers and officers of public - traded corporations will be limited to $300,000 per year. 
...and now, the Republicans have turned on him.  It was all good just a bullet point ago.  Hating gays, forcing the Bible on folks, that was cool.  But you want to limit our--I mean, corporate pay?  I hope your affairs are in order, Mr. Trigg.  And it just goes downhill from here. 

5.  The income of coaches of sports teams at universities will be limited to $300,000 per year .

Yeah fucking right.  They'd let Jerry Sandusky go back to Penn State before this ever happened.
6.  The legal drinking age will be increased to 25 for any alcoholic beverage. 
  • Alcohol will not be allowed on university campuses.
Because alcohol is allowed there now.  Please don't think your Bible is going to keep college students from getting fucked up.  Also, you just lost their vote, too.  They weren't even listening until you said this.

7.   Marriage and the family will be protected by the following :
  • Marriage will be defined as the union of one woman with one man.
  • The legal age for marriage will be 22.
  • A couple wishing to get married must first attend Christian marriage counseling classes.
  • Divorce will only be allowed in cases of abuse, infidelity, or incarceration. 
  • The penalties for abuse and infidelity will include large fines and jail time.
  • Married couples who become pregnant must attend Christian parenting classes.
Uh-huh.  You got it, chief.  Especially that divorce part.  That genie isn't going back in the bottle.  Or maybe I should say "toothpaste" so you don't feel the need to tell me that genies are agents of Satan. 

8.  The rating system for movies and T.V. shows will be drastically overhauled :
  • No show or movie will be allowed on T.V. systems or computer systems accessible by homes that contain nudity, strong sexual content, excessive foul language, blasphemy, or any form of homosexuality.
This is the statement of a man who doesn't understand how technology works.  I'm tickled that he specified that this stuff wouldn't be "accessible by homes," though, because I read that to mean that this is what he'll be looking at inside the Oval Office. 

9.  Abortion will only be legal in situations where the child has a small probability of living and the pregnancy is placing the life of the mother in extreme risk.

He's actually to the left of much of the Republicans here.  Go figure.  YOU SOCIALIST SCUM.
10.  Industries in the United States ( U.S.)  that have suffered from foreign competition with much lower labor pay rates, lower employee compensation costs, and lower environmental compliance costs will be assisted and protected. Assistance will include financial help in building or refurbishing manufacturing plants and training employees and low capital gains taxes. Protection will include tariffs on imported goods in order to establish a market fair for these U.S. industries. These tariffs will be used to help prevent inflation on these manufactured goods.

This is him begging for lobbyist money, because American industries ARE their foreign competition.  Either that or he truly doesn't understand how outsourcing works.  I'm so cynical that I really believe it's the first one.

11.  The Welfare Department will be overhauled. This overhaul will include training welfare recipients for jobs that match their abilities. The financial responsibilities of caring for children of mothers who are not married will be shared by the father .

I wonder if he realizes how socialist he sounds, except that the 30 minute video he posted to announce his candidacy suggests that he isn't self-aware at all.</aThe first part is actually a good idea that President Obama has been trying to get in place for a while now.  The second part, is pretty random and also what is supposed to be happening already--child support.  Perhaps you've heard of it.  

12. The insurance and medical system of the U.S. will be overhauled. Employers will be required to provide insurance for their employees. The costs of medical services and pharmaceuticals will be reviewed. These will be offered at a fair price without excessive profit for the providers.

If the corporations don't get you for limiting their pay, then Big Pharma certainly will.  Sir, don't say this stuff in public, because your life will be in danger. 

13. Illegal immigration laws will be enforced . Laws will be passed to assist this enforcement.
14. Several laws will be reviewed, including several statute -of-limitations.
15. Marijuana will not be legal  except for medicinal purposes.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.  Look, Trigg, I just don't want to see you waste your money here.  Just stop.  I know you said that God wants you to be President, but God has met us, even if you haven't.  He's clearly playing a practical joke on you, which I think he does from time to time.  All of these people out here claiming that God told you to do something, I think he just wants to see if you'll actually do it.  There's no way he really thinks you're going to become President until all 300 million of us die first.  And if that's what actually happens, you'll just be the leader of about 40 people until Mexico claims the empty husk that was America.  

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The Donald Sterl-mancipation

So I guess I'm supposed to be happy that Donald Sterling got a lifetime ban from the NBA.  Yeah, that's fantastic, considering that his days on this earth are probably in the single digits, anyway.  It's a lifetime ban for a person without much life left.  And he still owns the team, so all Adam Silver really did was tell him he can't come to the stadium.  When you buy Clippers merch or tix, you're still putting money in his pocket. And speaking of money, on a percentage basis, the amount that he got fined is about the same as you being fined around $20. 

Yeah, we got a huge win today.

But during a few checks on social media when I was supposed to be working, I see y'all out here acting like we just got emancipated.  Like it was the OJ verdict all over again.  And I gotta ask, what are you so happy about?

Now, I'm not one of these people who's gonna try to ruin your good mood by saying that there are more important things to be concerned with.  Those people are assholes, because of course there's always something to be more concerned with. It's just that there hasn't been much change on the Keystone XL Pipeline and Congress still isn't passing any bills.  And since The Walking Dead still hasn't come back, we're pretty starved for excitement.

No, I'm going to ruin your good mood by telling you that this is nothing to be happy about, because Donald Sterling didn't get banned because he's a racist.  Donald Sterling got banned because it became big news that he was a racist. 

Donald Sterling was a racist a long time before now, and there were a whole lot of incidents that he was involved in that were reported on and promptly ignored.  The only difference between this one and all of those was how you found out about it.  The other ones came out through lawsuits and court depositions and OH MY GOD THIS IS SO BORINGZZZZZZZZZZZZ. This one came out because his jump off (I refuse to call her anything else) goaded him into talking about black people so she could record it and leak it to TMZ.  Already, this story is more sexy.  Certainly, sexier than she is.  She looks like she used to be a man. 

All of a sudden, Donald Sterling is an embarrassment and needs to be removed, but wasn't he just as embarrassing, if not more so back in 2009, when he paid out the largest settlement on housing discrimination lawsuit ever?  Or what about those sexual harassment suits?  His callous nature when it came to evicting tenants?  The time that he made his wife pose as a government worker and visit the residents of his buildings to find out what race they were, so he could evict them?  Refusing to rent to Blacks or Latinos at all?  Donald Sterling has been a horrible piece of shit racist for a long time.  So really, it should insult all of you that this is what it took to bring him down. 

You mean to tell me that the NBA didn't know about any of this?  And that his racist views expressed in a private conversation is worse than the stuff listed above that the NBA certainly knows about?  The NBA doesn't care that Donald Sterling is racist.  The NBA cares that you know he's racist.  If this was about his racism, they would have banned him in 1983 when he asked Rollie Massamino, "I wanna know why you think you can coach these niggers."

The truth is, if Donald Sterling's jump off was a woman of a higher character, you wouldn't know anything that he said and they wouldn't have done anything.  Period.  Despite the fact that he's continued to make himself rich by denying living space to minorities.  Despite the fact that he's sexually harassed women in his employ.  Adam Silver can get in front of reporters and make his dramatic statements, but the truth is, it wasn't a problem for them before.  It only became a problem when it became public.

And the same goes for all of these sponsors who cut ties with the Clippers.  If y'all don't stop acting like you have morals.  Every one of you is a conglomerate of corrupt pieces of shit.  Every one of you knew who Sterling was and chose to sign deals with him anyway, because OOH LOOGIT BLAKE GRIFFIN JUMPS HIGH.  And now that everyone knows that he's a bigot, you don't want your brand associated with him.  Good thing those lawsuits got swept under the rug, otherwise, you would have been forced to leave all that money on the table.  So CarMax, State Farm, Kia, Corona, AQUAhydrate. Red Bull, Sprint, Lumber Liquidators,  LoanMart, Yokohama Tires, Samsung, Mercedes-Benz, and Virgin America, you ain't shit.  Not a single one of you.

So don't get too excited about all of this.  All that happened is that they reminded you what their real priorities are.  No progress has been made.  Unless you're Donald Sterling's jump off.  She's about to come up when she gets that spot on Basketball Wives.