People still seem to be really invested in the idea that Conor McGregor get credit for standing in the ring with one of the greatest boxers of all time, but that's kind of stupid, considering these people aren't big on participation trophies the other 99% of the time. CM Punk took up the challenge of stepping into the Octagon and they've been laughing at him ever since. So I'm not willing to listen to that crew when it comes to giving people credit for just getting in there. And apparently, neither is Floyd, because you're a fucking fool if you think Floyd is about to reciprocate.
And I'm not really going to give Conor that much credit for how he performed, because for a guy who's boxed before, he looked to me like a guy that was just gonna muddy this thing up and hope for the best. And clearly, he was excited for his huge payday, because he couldn't stop showing Floyd his appreciation during the fight in the form of exuberant hugs.
But you can't tell Conor's fans that he wasn't in the fight. To let them tell it, he controlled the early rounds and had a puncher's chance to win, like aggressive fighters don't get knocked out all the time. And he fought like believed it, though, because he was just throwing shit out there, and doing random shit, changing directions, in an attempt to trick Floyd. Like Floyd hasn't fought a clueless amateur before. Sometimes, he wasn't even throwing punches, just touching Floyd's face. I bet there's audio of Conor saying "boop" every time he touched Floyd's nose. Conor looked like a guy that didn't know what he was doing, which is illustrated by the fact that Conor couldn't stop trying to suplex Floyd. No, the truth is, Floyd controlled that fight from the opening bell.
I mean, it's not like you have to watch a lot of Floyd Mayweather fights to get a feel for how he fights, and I wouldn't recommend watching him a lot, anyway, unless you're trying to induce narcolepsy. Personally, I've watched three fights that I remember, and one of them (Shane Mosley), I was so fucking drunk. There's no clever description of how drunk I was, either. I was just drunk, yelling at a stranger across the room about how he was scoring the rounds. Fred, if you're out there, bless you and your wife for listening to me babble until I was sober enough to drive. I still didn't know how to drink like a grown up in 2010.
So that's roughly two and two-fifths of his fights that I was sober enough to process, and that's enough to know when he's taking the fight seriously. Say whatever you want about how he ducked fighters, when he was in the ring, he was all business. Yeah, him and Pacquiao were fucking decrepit when they finally fought, but you could see on Floyd's face that he was there to end the talk about this rapidly deteriorating semi-pro basketball player once and for all. When Shane Mosley rocked him early in their fight, the look on his face said that he wasn't gonna let some dude with light eyes and an S-Curl take him out. Conor McGregor never once got that look from Floyd Mayweather, because Floyd knew he didn't have to try. The looks Conor got from Floyd ranged from "mild indifference" to "bemused." It probably took all he had not to laugh once he saw Conor's strategy of randomly changing directions. And I gotta say, it was funny as hell watching Conor try that and get punched dead in the face anyway.
And that's why Floyd didn't bother with his shoulder rolls, and that's why he kept going forward. He could have treated this like a real boxing match, but for what? He wasn't fighting a real boxer, and honestly, Conor probably would have done better not trying so hard to box. But acting like Conor McGregor was a serious competitor in this is really doing a Conor a disservice, because you're about to convince this dude that he can do it for real and get put to sleep by somebody who's younger and hungrier. Shit, Floyd almost did it and he wasn't even trying.
We weren't watching a competitive boxing match; we were watching a boxer spar with a guy trying to box.
And in that context, Conor never stood a chance.
Monday, September 04, 2017
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Nintendo just won't stop fucking up
Nintendo, for all of it's greatness, stays shooting itself in the foot.
Yeah, they look like they're riding high with the early Switch sales, they keep a few billion in the bank as a general rule, and they always make some of the best games on the market. They have brand loyalty unlike anything else in the video game industry. But that's kind of the problem. Because of these things, they're always trying to float some bullshit, which they can do, because they're Nintendo. And the discontinuing the NES Classic is one of those stupid, stupid things.
Now, according to them, they never intended for the NES Classic to become a permanent sales item, because they just wanted to get their name back out in the streets. That's their real reason for it. They had the Switch coming, and people didn't really get into the Wii U, so they released this thing to remind us who they were. It was a mixtape before the album, except, it's with the expectation that Jay-Z would be forgotten. That's how off base Nintendo was. They thought they would be forgotten, even though Nintendo had been a household name for 30 years.
So they never expected that the NES Classic would blow up like it did. But here's where most companies would change course and take advantage of this brand new revenue stream. Here's where most companies might be like, "let's milk this, and maybe release another one next year for the SNES." Not Nintendo, though. They were like, "Nah, we don't need this extra money. Even though we could change course, let's just stick to our original decision, the one that didn't have all of the information."
And because of that bad decision making, the NES Classic is gone forever, unless you have a few hundred laying around to buy one on eBay.
Apparently, they're doing this because they want to push the Virtual Console again, which is such a fucking Nintendo-like decision that it makes me want to set something on fire. They do shit like this all the time, and they never learn, even after it backfires.
Look, there's nothing wrong with the Virtual Console. I like the Virtual Console. I've given it lots of money to buy games I already have. I bought Super Mario Bros. 3 twice this year. It's such a senseless decision on my part, you'd think that someone at Nintendo is operating my brain. But everybody that wants to play those games isn't going to buy a Wii U or a Switch just to play them. And not only that, there's only 30 games on the thing. I'm sure there will be plenty of other games on the Virtual Console that you're gonna be able to sell for the 12th time. You're killing a new revenue stream on the fact that someone might not want to buy Dr. Mario again if they already have it on the NES Classic.
But that's how stubborn Nintendo is. That's the kind of thinking that had them sticking with Friend Codes for their internet service, in the face of XBox Live dominating online gaming. Nintendo had about five chances to get their internet strategy right, and failed every time, even though there were successful examples all around them that they could have been copying. They said that they didn't need third-party developers, even though third-party developers are the ones that sell the biggest selling games of the year, each and every year. They really believe they don't need Grand Theft Auto on their systems because Mario Kart 8 is gonna hold everything down. They even said that internet gaming wasn't going to last, while watching XBox Live and Steam become brand names right in their face. They're like the Prince of video games. Geniuses at creativity, but too stubborn to hire a corporate wizard to sell this shit for them. No marketing person would tell you to stick with Friend Codes, but they don't have time to listen, because they gotta get another Zelda game out.
They never learn, and yet, it never matters. Let's face it, they're Nintendo. They single-handedly resurrected the video game industry and maintained it for a decade. They're always profitable. They still dominate handheld gaming, even though they've re-released that same handheld system about six times. They're doing a lot correctly. But it's like CM Punk said about Vince McMahon: He's a millionaire that should be a billionaire. And it isn't because they discontinued the NES Classic, but it's not not because they discontinued it, either.
Yeah, they look like they're riding high with the early Switch sales, they keep a few billion in the bank as a general rule, and they always make some of the best games on the market. They have brand loyalty unlike anything else in the video game industry. But that's kind of the problem. Because of these things, they're always trying to float some bullshit, which they can do, because they're Nintendo. And the discontinuing the NES Classic is one of those stupid, stupid things.
Now, according to them, they never intended for the NES Classic to become a permanent sales item, because they just wanted to get their name back out in the streets. That's their real reason for it. They had the Switch coming, and people didn't really get into the Wii U, so they released this thing to remind us who they were. It was a mixtape before the album, except, it's with the expectation that Jay-Z would be forgotten. That's how off base Nintendo was. They thought they would be forgotten, even though Nintendo had been a household name for 30 years.
So they never expected that the NES Classic would blow up like it did. But here's where most companies would change course and take advantage of this brand new revenue stream. Here's where most companies might be like, "let's milk this, and maybe release another one next year for the SNES." Not Nintendo, though. They were like, "Nah, we don't need this extra money. Even though we could change course, let's just stick to our original decision, the one that didn't have all of the information."
And because of that bad decision making, the NES Classic is gone forever, unless you have a few hundred laying around to buy one on eBay.
Apparently, they're doing this because they want to push the Virtual Console again, which is such a fucking Nintendo-like decision that it makes me want to set something on fire. They do shit like this all the time, and they never learn, even after it backfires.
Look, there's nothing wrong with the Virtual Console. I like the Virtual Console. I've given it lots of money to buy games I already have. I bought Super Mario Bros. 3 twice this year. It's such a senseless decision on my part, you'd think that someone at Nintendo is operating my brain. But everybody that wants to play those games isn't going to buy a Wii U or a Switch just to play them. And not only that, there's only 30 games on the thing. I'm sure there will be plenty of other games on the Virtual Console that you're gonna be able to sell for the 12th time. You're killing a new revenue stream on the fact that someone might not want to buy Dr. Mario again if they already have it on the NES Classic.
But that's how stubborn Nintendo is. That's the kind of thinking that had them sticking with Friend Codes for their internet service, in the face of XBox Live dominating online gaming. Nintendo had about five chances to get their internet strategy right, and failed every time, even though there were successful examples all around them that they could have been copying. They said that they didn't need third-party developers, even though third-party developers are the ones that sell the biggest selling games of the year, each and every year. They really believe they don't need Grand Theft Auto on their systems because Mario Kart 8 is gonna hold everything down. They even said that internet gaming wasn't going to last, while watching XBox Live and Steam become brand names right in their face. They're like the Prince of video games. Geniuses at creativity, but too stubborn to hire a corporate wizard to sell this shit for them. No marketing person would tell you to stick with Friend Codes, but they don't have time to listen, because they gotta get another Zelda game out.
They never learn, and yet, it never matters. Let's face it, they're Nintendo. They single-handedly resurrected the video game industry and maintained it for a decade. They're always profitable. They still dominate handheld gaming, even though they've re-released that same handheld system about six times. They're doing a lot correctly. But it's like CM Punk said about Vince McMahon: He's a millionaire that should be a billionaire. And it isn't because they discontinued the NES Classic, but it's not not because they discontinued it, either.
Nah, I didn't watch that Charles Barkley show
Like most right thinking people, I decided months ago that I wasn't gonna watch that Charles Barkley race show. If I wanted a sports figure to upset me, I could just think back to the Super Bowl and feel my chest burn. I don't need to watch Charles Barkley stumble his way through some shit that actually matters. But I watched a few commercials and changed my mind. Then I forgot, because I have no discernible attention span. Seriously. I zoned out and watched half an episode of "Highly Questionable" after I wrote that paragraph.
After I remembered that I hadn't watched the show, though, I gave some serious thought to the idea, and I realized that I don't need to watch it. Not for the obvious reasons. I mean, if I'm looking for ways to bridge the racial divide with the funny guy from "Inside the NBA," then I might come out of this joining the Klan because I think it'll make white people more comfortable. But that's an easy reason to pick out of this. We all laugh at Charles because he says crazy things, but he's really trying here. It's a genuine concern of his, and he wants to try to help.
It's just that this show simply isn't for me. And I don't mean, "My tastes are different than this show," I mean, I literally do not need this show. No black person does. This show is strictly for white people.
I don't mean that in any kind of insulting way, like I mean it when some white person posts an article about cooking steak in the dishwasher. Those kinds of things make me wonder how we ever allowed ourselves to be dominated by them in the first place, and because we did, I have to question how smart we all are, as a species. No, I mean, as a black person, I really don't need an education on race relations in this country.
This show, and shows like it (W. Kamau Bell's show, for example, which I have watched a few times, and have recently come to regret it) are based around the flawed premise that all we need is to have a conversation about our differences and come together. We're just a mystery to one another, and all we need to do is tell each other that, yes, we both like tacos, and we both had a hard time getting our kids to shit in the pot, and that's all it takes to end all of this acrimony between the races. We just need to listen to each other. Sounds good.
Except the premise for these shows is pretty insulting to black people in particular, because it assumes that the refusal to listen is happening on both sides. It isn't.
See, black people; We already know about white people. Learning about white people is part of surviving in America. There are books and articles and shows everywhere about black people interacting with white people on their jobs, or in their every day lives, or at school, or growing up and the stress that comes with that. They describe the frustration over not being heard, understood, or respected, both in verbal interaction, as well as the physical. Black women have a million stories about white women trying to touch them without permission. And in all of those stories, none of them ever end with the white people learning any lessons or modifying their behavior, but the black people instead have to find a way to deal with this without going crazy. It's all based on reality, and in all of those experiences, we're learning how to navigate white people and their world. Because this is their world.
Telling us that we need to hear them out is kind of pointless, because we've been hearing them out all our lives. And if we aren't hearing them out at work or at school, we're hearing them out on TV or on the news, because this country has always been for them. Because of that, white people aren't some kind of mystery. We might not understand why they call microwaved milk chicken "fried," but generally speaking, already know where they're coming from. We've known since we've been in America.
The disconnect comes when we try to explain our perspective, and that's when the arguments happen. Suddenly, white people start getting defensive and it becomes more important to them to avoid being seen as racist than actually trying to solve some problems. See, we can't talk about race with the average white person, because race doesn't exist for them, and they believe that it shouldn't exist for us. They believe that race is something to be ignored, not embraced and respected. Because in their world, race isn't an obstacle in any way, and that's why they get to say silly shit like, "Bringing race into this is what keeps racism alive," and that's why they think that calling them "mayonnaise boy" is the same as them calling us "nigger." They largely don't understand race or race dynamics. They've created a world around themselves that's completely race-free and can't figure out why everybody doesn't live like that, while forgetting the fact that white people also created the conditions that don't allow for everybody to live like that.
So shows like Charles Barkley's Race War or whatever the fuck it's called, and W. Kamau Bell's Meet the White People, those shows are really for white people. They're supposed to watch these shows and learn some shit, since they can't handle hearing it in the break room without going to pieces. White people are supposed to watch and see why it's really dumb to tell and room of angry and scared black people that it's somehow on them to reach common ground with the same police that are killing their kids, and Charles Barkley is just oblivious enough to be their stand-in. He says that dumb shit and gets yelled at for 45 minutes, so you don't have to. He's sacrificing himself for you, white people. He's like your own Black Jesus.
Because it's long past time that white people understood and accepted that, even though we're all people, and if you pinch us, we bleed and all that, our lived experiences are completely different. We don't always see things the same way, we don't feel the same way about this country, or that President you elected, or baseball, or Seinfeld, or all kinds of stuff. Stop trying to make us you. We don't want to be you, because for one, our music is better and our food has flavor. We want to be us, and we're gonna talk about race and its ups and down, whether you like it or not. The only question is, are you willing to listen and learn?
After I remembered that I hadn't watched the show, though, I gave some serious thought to the idea, and I realized that I don't need to watch it. Not for the obvious reasons. I mean, if I'm looking for ways to bridge the racial divide with the funny guy from "Inside the NBA," then I might come out of this joining the Klan because I think it'll make white people more comfortable. But that's an easy reason to pick out of this. We all laugh at Charles because he says crazy things, but he's really trying here. It's a genuine concern of his, and he wants to try to help.
It's just that this show simply isn't for me. And I don't mean, "My tastes are different than this show," I mean, I literally do not need this show. No black person does. This show is strictly for white people.
I don't mean that in any kind of insulting way, like I mean it when some white person posts an article about cooking steak in the dishwasher. Those kinds of things make me wonder how we ever allowed ourselves to be dominated by them in the first place, and because we did, I have to question how smart we all are, as a species. No, I mean, as a black person, I really don't need an education on race relations in this country.
This show, and shows like it (W. Kamau Bell's show, for example, which I have watched a few times, and have recently come to regret it) are based around the flawed premise that all we need is to have a conversation about our differences and come together. We're just a mystery to one another, and all we need to do is tell each other that, yes, we both like tacos, and we both had a hard time getting our kids to shit in the pot, and that's all it takes to end all of this acrimony between the races. We just need to listen to each other. Sounds good.
Except the premise for these shows is pretty insulting to black people in particular, because it assumes that the refusal to listen is happening on both sides. It isn't.
See, black people; We already know about white people. Learning about white people is part of surviving in America. There are books and articles and shows everywhere about black people interacting with white people on their jobs, or in their every day lives, or at school, or growing up and the stress that comes with that. They describe the frustration over not being heard, understood, or respected, both in verbal interaction, as well as the physical. Black women have a million stories about white women trying to touch them without permission. And in all of those stories, none of them ever end with the white people learning any lessons or modifying their behavior, but the black people instead have to find a way to deal with this without going crazy. It's all based on reality, and in all of those experiences, we're learning how to navigate white people and their world. Because this is their world.
Telling us that we need to hear them out is kind of pointless, because we've been hearing them out all our lives. And if we aren't hearing them out at work or at school, we're hearing them out on TV or on the news, because this country has always been for them. Because of that, white people aren't some kind of mystery. We might not understand why they call microwaved milk chicken "fried," but generally speaking, already know where they're coming from. We've known since we've been in America.
The disconnect comes when we try to explain our perspective, and that's when the arguments happen. Suddenly, white people start getting defensive and it becomes more important to them to avoid being seen as racist than actually trying to solve some problems. See, we can't talk about race with the average white person, because race doesn't exist for them, and they believe that it shouldn't exist for us. They believe that race is something to be ignored, not embraced and respected. Because in their world, race isn't an obstacle in any way, and that's why they get to say silly shit like, "Bringing race into this is what keeps racism alive," and that's why they think that calling them "mayonnaise boy" is the same as them calling us "nigger." They largely don't understand race or race dynamics. They've created a world around themselves that's completely race-free and can't figure out why everybody doesn't live like that, while forgetting the fact that white people also created the conditions that don't allow for everybody to live like that.
So shows like Charles Barkley's Race War or whatever the fuck it's called, and W. Kamau Bell's Meet the White People, those shows are really for white people. They're supposed to watch these shows and learn some shit, since they can't handle hearing it in the break room without going to pieces. White people are supposed to watch and see why it's really dumb to tell and room of angry and scared black people that it's somehow on them to reach common ground with the same police that are killing their kids, and Charles Barkley is just oblivious enough to be their stand-in. He says that dumb shit and gets yelled at for 45 minutes, so you don't have to. He's sacrificing himself for you, white people. He's like your own Black Jesus.
Because it's long past time that white people understood and accepted that, even though we're all people, and if you pinch us, we bleed and all that, our lived experiences are completely different. We don't always see things the same way, we don't feel the same way about this country, or that President you elected, or baseball, or Seinfeld, or all kinds of stuff. Stop trying to make us you. We don't want to be you, because for one, our music is better and our food has flavor. We want to be us, and we're gonna talk about race and its ups and down, whether you like it or not. The only question is, are you willing to listen and learn?
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