Like most right thinking people, I decided months ago that I wasn't gonna watch that Charles Barkley race show. If I wanted a sports figure to upset me, I could just think back to the Super Bowl and feel my chest burn. I don't need to watch Charles Barkley stumble his way through some shit that actually matters. But I watched a few commercials and changed my mind. Then I forgot, because I have no discernible attention span. Seriously. I zoned out and watched half an episode of "Highly Questionable" after I wrote that paragraph.
After I remembered that I hadn't watched the show, though, I gave some serious thought to the idea, and I realized that I don't need to watch it. Not for the obvious reasons. I mean, if I'm looking for ways to bridge the racial divide with the funny guy from "Inside the NBA," then I might come out of this joining the Klan because I think it'll make white people more comfortable. But that's an easy reason to pick out of this. We all laugh at Charles because he says crazy things, but he's really trying here. It's a genuine concern of his, and he wants to try to help.
It's just that this show simply isn't for me. And I don't mean, "My tastes are different than this show," I mean, I literally do not need this show. No black person does. This show is strictly for white people.
I don't mean that in any kind of insulting way, like I mean it when some white person posts an article about cooking steak in the dishwasher. Those kinds of things make me wonder how we ever allowed ourselves to be dominated by them in the first place, and because we did, I have to question how smart we all are, as a species. No, I mean, as a black person, I really don't need an education on race relations in this country.
This show, and shows like it (W. Kamau Bell's show, for example, which I have watched a few times, and have recently come to regret it) are based around the flawed premise that all we need is to have a conversation about our differences and come together. We're just a mystery to one another, and all we need to do is tell each other that, yes, we both like tacos, and we both had a hard time getting our kids to shit in the pot, and that's all it takes to end all of this acrimony between the races. We just need to listen to each other. Sounds good.
Except the premise for these shows is pretty insulting to black people in particular, because it assumes that the refusal to listen is happening on both sides. It isn't.
See, black people; We already know about white people. Learning about white people is part of surviving in America. There are books and articles and shows everywhere about black people interacting with white people on their jobs, or in their every day lives, or at school, or growing up and the stress that comes with that. They describe the frustration over not being heard, understood, or respected, both in verbal interaction, as well as the physical. Black women have a million stories about white women trying to touch them without permission. And in all of those stories, none of them ever end with the white people learning any lessons or modifying their behavior, but the black people instead have to find a way to deal with this without going crazy. It's all based on reality, and in all of those experiences, we're learning how to navigate white people and their world. Because this is their world.
Telling us that we need to hear them out is kind of pointless, because we've been hearing them out all our lives. And if we aren't hearing them out at work or at school, we're hearing them out on TV or on the news, because this country has always been for them. Because of that, white people aren't some kind of mystery. We might not understand why they call microwaved milk chicken "fried," but generally speaking, already know where they're coming from. We've known since we've been in America.
The disconnect comes when we try to explain our perspective, and that's when the arguments happen. Suddenly, white people start getting defensive and it becomes more important to them to avoid being seen as racist than actually trying to solve some problems. See, we can't talk about race with the average white person, because race doesn't exist for them, and they believe that it shouldn't exist for us. They believe that race is something to be ignored, not embraced and respected. Because in their world, race isn't an obstacle in any way, and that's why they get to say silly shit like, "Bringing race into this is what keeps racism alive," and that's why they think that calling them "mayonnaise boy" is the same as them calling us "nigger." They largely don't understand race or race dynamics. They've created a world around themselves that's completely race-free and can't figure out why everybody doesn't live like that, while forgetting the fact that white people also created the conditions that don't allow for everybody to live like that.
So shows like Charles Barkley's Race War or whatever the fuck it's called, and W. Kamau Bell's Meet the White People, those shows are really for white people. They're supposed to watch these shows and learn some shit, since they can't handle hearing it in the break room without going to pieces. White people are supposed to watch and see why it's really dumb to tell and room of angry and scared black people that it's somehow on them to reach common ground with the same police that are killing their kids, and Charles Barkley is just oblivious enough to be their stand-in. He says that dumb shit and gets yelled at for 45 minutes, so you don't have to. He's sacrificing himself for you, white people. He's like your own Black Jesus.
Because it's long past time that white people understood and accepted that, even though we're all people, and if you pinch us, we bleed and all that, our lived experiences are completely different. We don't always see things the same way, we don't feel the same way about this country, or that President you elected, or baseball, or Seinfeld, or all kinds of stuff. Stop trying to make us you. We don't want to be you, because for one, our music is better and our food has flavor. We want to be us, and we're gonna talk about race and its ups and down, whether you like it or not. The only question is, are you willing to listen and learn?
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