The following was written with the utmost respect for the late, great, James Brown. I grew up in a house where James was played on the regular, because he is, to this day, my father’s favorite artist. We don’t even call him by his last name. We just call him James, like we know him. And I like to believe that if James were to read this, he would see the humor in it, even if it’s not actually funny. He had to have a sense of humor, because let’s face it, he wrote and performed “Living in America” with a straight face.
James Brown
1933-2006
James Brown’s “Superbad” is about jerking off.
Yes, I said it. I came to this revelation in much the same way I FINALLY realized that Prince was singing about Jesus in “I Would Die 4 U:” I actually paid attention.
I was listening to the song in the car on Tuesday and the following lyrics caught my attention:
I love, I love to do my thing,And I, and I don't need, no one elseSometimes I feel so nice, good godI jump back, I wanna kiss myself
I thought to myself, What? It was at this point that decided to listen to the song over again. I had listened to this song a million times in my life, but it had never occurred to me what James Brown had been trying to tell us…he was just trying to pop one off. And he doesn’t need anyone’s help to do it. In fact, he was so good that he would make love to himself if he could do it.
The timing of this was especially strange, because, as we all know, “The Hardest Working Man In Show Business” just passed on Monday. Was he speaking to me from beyond the grave? Were the secrets behind his mostly unintelligible songs finally being revealed?
Or maybe I’m just a pervert.
The actual text of his lyrics can be found anywhere, but I’ll just be highlighting certain parts. First of all, he likes to be watched while he does it:
Watch me!
Watch me!I got it!Watch me!
I got it!HEY!
Later in the song:
Now I got a move that tells me what to do
(The move is called “Five-Knuckle Shuffle)Sometimes I feel so nice, I wanna try myself with you
(He’s so good at it, he wants you to watch him do it.)
Now, did I just imagine all that or does James Brown prefer an audience when he diddles himself? Continuing through the song, James tells us a little more about how he likes to do things:
Slap it downand round and roundup and downall around
(He likes it rough. Probably doesn’t use lotion.)right-on peoplehuh, let it all hang outif you don't brothas and sistasthen you won't knowwhat it's all about
See what he did in those last three lines? “If you don’t…then you won’t know what it’s all about.” If you don’t jerk off, then you won’t know about the first part, slapping it down and etc. etc. It’s secret code for people who also hook themselves up. I…I think I may have just told on myself.
Anytime he says, “I got a move that tells me what to do,” that means, “I’m horny.” He needs a nut, and dammit, he needs it NOW!
Maybe I’m reading too much into this. I’m certainly not making a case for my own sanity here. It seems to me that James has cleverly hidden a song about his own desires within a song that appears to just be gibberish. Well, I’m onto you, James!
Is James Brown a pervert? Am I? Well, I probably am, but the facts are laid bare…you decide.
No comments:
Post a Comment