Sunday, August 26, 2007

My Talk With Donovan McNabb

The following is a completely true story.

For anyone who doesn’t know, my favorite football player is Philadelphia Eagles starting quarterback Donovan McNabb. I think he is the best quarterback in the NFL and I would pick him over any player if I had to start a team tomorrow. Well, early Sunday morning, it was my privilege and honor to meet Mr. McNabb after a press conference that he held behind the Jiffy Lube at the corner of Wesley Chapel and Snapfinger Rd. in Decatur. As the press conference ended, he began to walk down Snapfinger Rd. in the direction of Hwy. 155, and as I was headed the same way (my parents live down there), I caught up to him, and we had a pretty interesting chat.

Of course, I told him my opinions about his game and he was flattered by my compliments. He took them very humbly, and even cracked a few self-effacing jokes.

I asked him about his friendship with Daunte Culpepper and the similarities and differences between their personalities and games. I also somehow worked in a follow-up question about Terrell Owens. He had nothing but good things to say about both.

I asked him what he thought about his team this season and if he thought that he was the best quarterback in the NFL. He declined to talk about himself and instead referred to the team’s goals this season.

All in all, I found him to be a very humble, genuine, and humorous human being. He was the kind of person you could walk up to on the street and start talking to and you’d feel as if you’d known him for years.

We found ourselves just past Ray of Hope Church, when an odd thing occurred. In the middle of our conversation, I felt a hand on my dick.

My eyes got big, not out of surprise, but because they had been closed the entire time. I had been sleeping and dreamt the whole thing. I had been awoken by the surprise of my girlfriend readjusting my boxer shorts. It had fallen out during the night.

Should I ever meet Donovan McNabb outside of my head, I fully intend to tell him this completely true (true in the sense that I truly did imagine it) story.

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