I’ve always wanted to do this. Well, ever since I read Drew Magary over at Kissing Suzy Kolber doing it.
Anyway, what follows is the text from the website www.afa.net, or the American Family Association. They’re organizing a “buycott” in support of Chick-Fil-A, because gay people are mad at Chick-Fil-A for not liking them. The text is unedited, with periodic breaks for my own commentary. It’s so much easier to respond to stupidity this way.
What is a BUYCOTT?
It is collectively showing appreciation for a company by purchasing their products or services – the opposite of a boycott.
Why BUYCOTT Chick-Fil-A?
You probably didn't hear about this on the evening news or read about it in the newspaper,
What? But the lamestream media should have been all over this! It involves those evil sodomites hating Christians for their love of God! That lovely Sarah Palin once said, “Gays masturbate all over the pages of the Bible.”
but after a Chick-fil-A restaurant in Pennsylvania donated some sandwiches and brownies to a marriage seminar hosted by the Pennsylvania Family Institute, pro-homosexual activists went ballistic. According to syndicated columnist Michelle Malkin:
Stop right there. There’s something to be said for considering the source, because if you’re starting off by quoting Michelle Malkin, you know you’re about to hear some lies. Its like holding up the word of Loki as the gospel.
Fact is, Chick-Fil-A has been financially supporting anti-gay politicians and Focus on the Family for a while now. Of course, it sounds much better to say the boycott happened because Chick-Fil-A was “donating sandwiches and brownies to a marriage seminar,” because it allows you to throw “because they hate marriage and God,” on the end of it.
- Several left-wing activist blogs launched an all-out attack on Chick-fil-A.
This is probably true. Because if someone was giving money to the Klan, I’d expect black people to boycott them. Gays are just like black people, in that they’re also people.
- Some started calling the company's main product "Jesus Chicken."
This is also probably true, and it’s pretty clever. You’d think they’d like this name, because if they actually had self-replicating chicken that allowed them to feed the masses, profits would skyrocket.
- They mocked and belittled the company's "Not Open on Sunday" policy.
To be fair, lots of people mock this policy, including people who like Chick-Fil-A’s food and fat people. At least a couple of those can be considered “Christian.”
- They smeared company employees, calling them "anti-gay."
This is most likely an exaggeration, but if anyone was going to be called “anti-gay,” it was probably the executives. I doubt anyone’s gonna run up in a Chick-Fil-A and call the 17-year-old behind the counter “anti-gay.” It’s not like they’re being asked to murder gay people. They’re just selling chicken.
- One individual – Michael Jones – started an online petition campaign "demanding" that Chick-fil-A renounce "extreme anti-gay groups."
And this is bad why? I mean, isn’t Focus on the Family considered “extremely anti-gay?” Oh, I get it: We all should support anti-gay groups, because that’s what Jesus would do.
- Users of Facebook organized witch hunts on college campuses.
Sure, they did. Facebook users organized mobs that hunted down innocent people and burned them at the stake. The police really shouldn’t have found out about it this way.
- In a feature article that ran in the New York Times' Sunday A-section, reporter Kim Severson attacked Chick-fil-A saying it is "anti-gay."
Well, all of the evidence points towards the Cathy family (the owners of Chick-Fil-A) being right-leaning, deeply religious, and supportive of conservative groups. So maybe they’re not “anti-gay.” Just “not in favor of their lifestyle,” which is totally different.
All that because one Chick-fil-A franchise donated a few sandwiches to a seminar aimed at helping couples strengthen their marriages.
If only that was all they did. Really, even gay people wish that straight couples would get their shit together, because they are RUINING the sanctity of marriage. Every little chick helps.
That reaction certainly seems like making a mountain out of a mole hill. You get the sense that there's more to this attack on Chick-fil-A than meets the eye. And you're right. There is.
Yeah, but it’s less about sandwiches and more about money towards anti-gay groups. Not that Michelle Malkin would tell you that. Her angry spittle washed all those pesky facts off of the page.
Chick-fil-A operates on Biblical principles and that irritates secularists
Because no pro-Christian propaganda would be complete without Christians playing the victim. Forget the fact that they actually are anti-gay. Gay people are not anti-Christian. They appear that way because they’re actually responding to the bullshit you brought to them. Otherwise, they’d just go on being gay and gay.
It’s stupid as shit to even suggest that Chick-Fil-A’s business practices are an actual reason, because no one cares about Chick-Fil-A being a Christian-run business. I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t eat Chick-Fil-A because they read Bibles in their corporate boardrooms.” Perhaps they don’t because the sodium content is a touch high, however.
Secondly, I think it’s a safe bet that a huge percentage of the people that they paint as “secularists” are actually Christians. They’re just not sensitive assholes.
Thirdly, no one gets irritated by Christians for being Christians. It’s just when they start that whole, “The Bible says you shouldn’t do this,” crap that they become annoying. “Don’t put too much air in your tires, because Thessalonians 2:10 says this.” If you try hard enough, there’s a Bible verse against everything, and having someone throw that in your face all day is fucking annoying. Especially when the God you believe in isn’t nearly as anal. Besides, who wants to live in a world where they’re not allowed to enjoy anything? That’s what makes Christians annoying. And it only gets worse when they form those overbearing fundamentalist groups that don’t believe in the mantra “live and let live,” but instead, “legislate into submission.”
- For Example:
- Chick-fil-A plays Christian music in its restaurants ... exclusively.
Even Kirk Franklin? I never hear Kirk Franklin in Chick-Fil-A…and for that, I thank you.
- Chick-fil-A closes all its locations on Sunday ... no exceptions.
Again, only annoying to people who eat food.
- Chick-fil-A's stated corporate purpose is: 1) To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us; and 2) To have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A.
Sounds good on the surface, and in fairness, Chick-Fil-A is the only fast food spot that has never pissed me off. But can’t you glorify God after I’m done ordering? I don’t wanna get religion all over my food.