How to dispose of your wild animals before you kill yourself

Look, if you're gonna own a bunch of wild animals, become suicidal, and decide to free all your animals before you kill yourself, presumably because you want them to taste some freedom, then you're a stupid asshole.

First of all, if you were so concerned about the freedom of animals, you wouldn't have held giant jungle cats locked up in your backyard. But let's say you didn't think that part up until later, so you think that freeing them at the end is a good idea. You don't live on the plains of the Serengeti. You live in fucking Ohio. There are cars and police and a SEVERE love of guns in this country. There's no way those animals were going to do anything but get killed. What did you think would happen, that they'd get away? Maybe sneak aboard a tramp steamer and have an adventure, where they learn the value of friendship with a ragtag crew of merchant marines, who take them back to Africa? I should speak low; DreamWorks might be hunting for a premise for Madagascar 5.

So for the next idiot who decides to set his savage killing machines loose in America for ANY reason, just keep in mind that if you're actual concerned about their safety, you'd leave them locked up so some nature preserve can come and get them instead of forcing police to shoot them in the streets. You cunt.

Finally Famous Vol. 3 Micro Review

I got about eight songs in on Big Sean's Finally Famous Vol. 3 mixtape before I had to stop. This is all I heard:

"I'm so clean, I'm so clean. BITCHES. I slept with your girlfriend. MONEY. I'm from Detroit, I'm from Detroit. DETROIT."

I have no hope for the future.