It took a lot of effort to write this and not make it about trashing feminists. I just feel like I need to you let you know that up front.
I don't need to tell anybody that the Eric Garner murder by the NYPD is all fucked up. I think we all agree there. And I'm not telling you that you have to go protest and hit up every rally that breaks out, because let's be totally honest: I won't be there, either. I am a lazy person in general, and I work ten hour days in a city whose only defining characteristic is heavy traffic. I barely even visit my parents, let alone attend protests.
So there's no shame in not attending any of those marches, and I'm not just saying that to cover my own ass. But if that's what you're gonna do, just don't be a self-involved dickhead like this lady, who wrote a piece over at "For Harriet," (read it here) where she declares that she won't join any protests for Eric Garner because men don't support the fight against misogyny. I was gonna call her a "twat," but I don't want my own inherent misogyny to take this discussion off course. I think "dickhead" is a fair compromise.
Kimberly Foster, the writer of this piece, argues that, while she will shed tears over Eric Garner (because there are no other ways to express sadness or sympathy with this family than writing that you're literally shedding tears), she will not join the fight for justice, because we men have not converted to full time feminists. To fully drive her point home, she also says in the piece, "you're not my friend anymore," and "I'm taking my toys and going home." It's the kind of writing that exemplifies why people make fun of thinkpieces.
It really is a childish argument to make, that she's not going to do anything for him, because all of us (penis-wielders, that is) don't do anything for her kind (feminists, I assume).
Now, to be fair, men really don't do much for women's rights, or understand how women navigate a world where there are a lot of men are trying to fuck them, regardless of their wishes. I'm stealing this line from Louis C.K., but essentially, the number one threat to women are men. And it's true. Men stay raping women, killing women, beating women, insulting women, calling them names because they told them no, putting them in those ratchet ass strip club rap videos, you name it, we do it. Generally speaking, the number one skill that men have is hurting women or breaking down their sense of self-worth. To put it in Madden terms, we have a 99 ranking in that department. And speaking of Madden, that's our number two skill.
It's not all men that act like this, but from a woman's perspective, she doesn't know who is or isn't going to be that asshole, and has to keep her guard up. I get that. While it isn't 100% of men who act like that, probably 99% percent of people who act like that towards women are men. The remaining 1%? Bull dykes, I guess. Are we still calling them "bull dykes?" I don't even know if that's offensive. Anyway, these statistics probably aren't 100% accurate, because "the inside of my ass" isn't a legitimate source.
And yet, because all men aren't on board with her crusade (which is a worthy cause), she isn't going to take up this crusade. As if women aren't wrongly arrested, assaulted, or killed by the police. This isn't a man/woman issue, because the cops don't give a fuck about anybody. She must have missed that video where the cop pinned the lady down with his knees and started teeing off on her face. I wish I could have seen the little hamster inside her head stumble on his running wheel as she was thinking this shit up.
Just because it was a man this time, that excuses her from all protesterly duties. She'll save her bile and rage for when it's a woman being assaulted by the police, so she can charge him with a violation of her rights and misogyny. She ain't getting out the bed for no less than misogyny.
This is the divide-and-conquer shit that prevents justice from being served. While you're drawing your line in the sand, the police are still beating on people with impunity. But don't worry about that, because reciprocity is the more important hill to die on. All you're doing is showing that when the shit goes down, you're not gonna be there. And if you're not gonna be there, that's fine. Just don't paint yourself as someone who's taking a noble stand by leaving people hanging when they need help. You ain't no hero. Anybody can do what you're doing. Ignoring homeless people on the street can give you that same sense of self-satisfaction. What you're doing is trying to position yourself as some sort of victim, when you're actually someone who can't think outside of themselves for five minutes before you have to ask, "What about me?"
But hey, it's your blog. Whatever works for you.
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