Josh Gordon ain't no political prisoner (also, weed is delicious)

Rob Van Dam once talked about how all these world class athletes all smoked weed.  Can't find the quote, but he said something to the effect of, "Why is it that all of the finely tuned athletes who know so much about their bodies are choosing to smoke weed?"  Maybe it was Joe Rogan.  Anyway, they're basically saying that if there was something really wrong with it, these people would know and wouldn't use it.  I tend to believe them, because they both have (or had) shows built around smoking a lot of weed and talking about it, so I assume they'd know. 

I personally don't think there's anything wrong with weed.  I've said since I was a teenager, I'd rather my kids smoke weed than cigarettes.  And yet, it's still considered a part of the same category as heroin.  In the eyes of the law, weed and heroin are the same.  It's a ridiculous idea, because one has been killing people since it came out and the other is responsible for American weight gain.  They're not the same thing, and I think one of them should be legalized, even if it is responsible for putting Taco Bell on the map. 

Josh Gordon, wide receiver for the Cleveland Browns, obviously feels like I do, because he just failed a second drug test the other day.  He could be suspended for a year as a result. 

And like with all drug suspensions, some people are calling him stupid and other people are like, "hey, man, weed comes from the Earth, man."  Personally, I don't think it's worth an actual debate.  At least not about the rightness or wrongness of a Gordon suspension.  The debate needs to be about weed laws and how the NFL eventually will treat them, not whether or not it's fair that he could be suspended a year, while Ray Rice, who punched out his fiance in a casino (allegedly, even though we all saw the video of the aftermath), will be starting Week 1 of the season.  Or that Jim Irsay, who was arrested with pills and cash in a pillow case, got his situation swept under the rug.  It isn't.  We all know the NFL doesn't hand out punishment fairly. 

But Josh Gordon ain't no political prisoner.  He's a weed head.  And I don't even say that negatively, because weed heads are fun people to be around.  I don't know Josh Gordon, but I'm sure he isn't any different.  I don't really follow Cleveland sports, because reading about Cleveland makes dark thoughts crop up in my head, but I haven't heard anything about him being lazy or causing a problem up there.  In fact, he's a really good player, so clearly, he can handle his high.  But let's not act like this man is facing a grave injustice.  His civil rights aren't being violated.  The NFL has clear rules and testing procedures for weed.  I don't think they have one for punching your girlfriend in the face, otherwise, half the league would be actually be practice squad players, because everyone else was already suspended.

I'm not saying that to justify spousal abuse, either.  The NFL and the Players' Union need to crackdown on players who do stuff like this, unless it's good business for them to represent a gang of wifebeaters.  Even if it's just smashing their toes with a hammer, or a series of paper cuts, they need to do something to let players know that attacking their wives is not okay.  In a perfect world, they would do this and fight for a loosening of drug restrictions.  But there's no sense in that, because their only choices in this are "conform or nah?"  The NFL is never going to budge on this.  Ever. 

It was suggested (on Twitter, admittedly) that because weed helps with brain injuries and stuff like that, and because the NFL has a huge problem with brain injuries, Josh Gordon shouldn't be suspended.  And that sounds reasonable until you realize that we don't know if that's why Josh Gordon was smoking.  He might just like making smoke rings.  And we can't ask him now, because of course he's gonna say that's why he was doing it.  Hell, I'd tell you it was curing my crippling erectile dysfunction if it kept from me getting suspended.

Another thing to realize is, the NFL has proven that it doesn't give a shit about players and their stupid brain injuries.  To them, that's just a left-wing conspiracy cooked up to bleed the job creators dry.  That's why they hid information about brain injuries from the players and that's why they nickel and dime former players now.  Junior Seau shooting himself in the chest didn't mean anything to them.  They're far more concerned about the image of the league (WE GOTTA PROTECT THE SHIELD, MAN!), and while weed is still illegal, they're not going to change anything, no matter how many tests prove that it helps with brain injuries.  They won't even change if it's legalized, because after that, there will still be a lingering perception of weed as a "drug."  As far as the NFL's concerned, you better grab a fistful of somas or a cortizone shot and get back on the field. 

That's where the real debate needs to be.  Not whether or not Josh Gordon is getting screwed, because Ray Rice is living out his Mike Tyson fantasies and Jim Irsay is playing "Breaking Bad," and nothing's happening to them.  Unfortunately, the rule is the rule, and they don't have one for punching women or owners going to buy $29,000 in drugs.  Or smoking fake weed and jerking off in a parking lot (this one is absolutely true).  Or even for players causing a national security uproar at the airport.

See, that's the problem right there.  Josh Gordon isn't being as imaginative with his infractions as everyone else. 

Weed won't be illegal forever

I really can't believe that Michael Phelps story was as big as it was. I can't believe he lost endorsements behind it. He was even on the verge of facing criminal charges. Weird, considering no one knew exactly what was in that pipe he was puffing on. I know, I know...what else was he going to have in there? Raisin bran? Toenails?

But do you really know that there was weed in there?

Either way, that's beside the point. It just blows my mind that we're still tripping on weed smokers like we are. I can't believe we haven't legalized it yet, considering how much we know about the plant. I'm not worried about it, though, because I know one day, it will be legalized. Just as soon as the generations preceding ours are too old to stop anyone from doing anything about it.

See, for a lot of prior generations, drugs were a taboo subject, like Black people or anything sexual. It was just wrong and you didn't even bring it up, unless you wanted to catch five across the face. You didn't question the rules, because this is how it was. So because the establishment succeeded in making everyone believe that Satan lived inside of drugs, drug use was mostly limited to the seedy looking kids in the neighborhood huffing paint behind Old Man Skinner's barn or smoking reefers with the Negro boys from the next town. Drugs didn't hurt Negroes because everyone knew back then that they had no souls. Anyway, back then, if you were caught smoking weed, you were looked at as if you raped babies during bank heists. It was a really big deal.

Then the 60s and 70s came and all Hell broke loose. It's a wonder anyone got anything done because everyone between the ages of 16 and 45 was probably on something while they had sex with someone else. Every STD that exists today was invented by God to stop whatever hedonism was doing back then. It didn't work, though, because all drugs have the inherent effect of overriding one's natural fear of getting burned. Plus, there was heroin. Lots and lots of heroin.

Then "Scarface" came along and introduced a young generation to the life of being a drug lord and how one of their hobbies is burying their faces in mountains of cocaine. Everyone who saw this movie as a child would grow up to be a rapper who made songs about how they actually did everything they saw in "Scarface."

Combine that with a young Nino Brown introducing New York to crack and now you have a nation of people who are not only unafraid of drugs, but believe themselves to be drug experts, despite never personally using most of them. Everyone today can pick out a crackhead with alarming precision. Every fifth album title contains a drug reference of some sort. There is even a magazine called "High Times," and their offices don't suffer daily police raids. One professional wrestler made an entire career out of being a weedhead. The weed plant is a logo now. We are awash in drug culture these days.

As a result, marijuana doesn't have the same stigma with our generation as it does with the generation that's keeping the drug laws in place. To the younger generations, weed isn't even that big a deal; it's even acceptable. Everyone knows someone who's currently smoking weed, at the least. What else can be said? People really, really, like to get high. And one day, it'll be legalized.

Now crack? That's a whole 'nother story.