If you can walk in the rain without drowning, then you too, can be an NBA General Manager.
Apparently, the only requisites for consideration is that you have the sense that God gave birds and that you once held a basketball. Doesn't matter if you were humping it or drooling on it. Just hold it for a few seconds and you can apply. After you successfully navigate the dangerous rain, of course. All you need is a team owner dumb or desperate enough to take a chance on you.
Earlier today, New York Knicks General Manager Isiah Thomas traded Penny Hardaway and Trevor Ariza to the Orlando Magic for Steve Francis. I'm not knocking him for getting Hardaway off his roster, because even though he's one of my all-time favorite players, the man wasn't going to get them anywhere closer to .500 when he has the arthritis of an 80 year old man in his knees. And Trevor Ariza apparently fell out of favor with coach Larry Brown, who's been hailed as the savior (following previous saviors, Isiah Thomas and Stephon Marbury...and Latrell Sprewell...and Allan Houston). Forget his promsing talent or anything crazy like that. Who needs talent when you've got the highest payroll in sports to match the second to worst record in the league? Yes...and i take great joy in saying this...even the Hawks are better.
But I'm not knocking Isiah for trading them. I'm knocking him for taking on the EXACT SAME PLAYER as his starting point guard, Stephon Marbury! No one who isn't already suffering from a near-fatal head injury would have made that trade. There are only three people in the world who would have made a trade as stupid as that. Two of them are named "Babcock." The other actually did it earlier today. His name is Isiah Thomas.
I just don't understand what Isiah is trying to do up there. So you actually manage to get rid of an expiring contract (Hardaway's is up this year), only to take on one that's even higher for more years. And you take on a player who does all the same stuff your starting point guard already does (including shoot too much, dribble too much, not play enough defense, suck up your salary cap, and go around not being a real point guard). Not to mention, you just got done drafting the same player, only you left him in the dryer too long (5'9" Nate Robinson...Slam Dunk Thief...I mean, Champion). And then there's Jamal Crawford, who got traded from the Chicago Bulls for turning into the player that Marbury and Francis already are! AND, AND, AND...didn't Thomas just trade valuable inside presence (Antonio Davis) for yet another shoot-first point guard in Jalen Rose? That did just happen two weeks ago, didn't it?
Salary cap room? Bah! Draft picks? Take 'em, cuz he's completely sold on Rasho Nesterovic's and Greg Ostertag's upside! And under Isiah's watch, consistent, solid performances (Michael Sweetney) only get you traded for the exact same player, only fatter, less consistent, a worse rebounder and more risky (Eddy Curry and his heart that could stop beating with one well-placed elbow to the chest)! But, hey...Curry's got potential!
...five years into his playing career. But I digress.
You know what? Maybe I'm the one with the head injury. And if not, maybe i should get one so I can get paid to pretend that this is a game of NBA Street, where I can trade players with not a whit of thought about chemistry...sharing the ball...player variety...DEFENSE...need I go on? It's really not THAT hard to put an NBA team together and it's not that hard to identify a stupid trade when you see one. You know what a good trade would have been? If he could have swindled Philly into taking Hardaway and Ariza for Allen Iverson. What does a bad trade look like? The one your dumb ass just got done making.
Thank you for continuing to give me things to write about, Isiah Thomas. Your spectacular failures in the front office since retirement from the NBA are far more interesting. The only thing that would be more interesting is the inside dirt on WHY owner James Dolan hired you AFTER you bought the CBA and caused it to fold inside of a year...which happened after you ran the expansion Toronto Raptors and fired the first coach, who actually got them a pretty good record, so you could hire your boy, who sank them like they were wearing concrete boots. And who can forget the time you coached a promising Indiana Pacers team into mediocrity, after Larry Bird got done taking the same team to the NBA Finals...and directly before Rick Carlisle can within a game of doing the exact same thing?
You've been going down in flames since the moment you got to New York. I can't wait to see how all this ends. And how much further in debt you're going to put this team. Does anyone know if there's some sort of record of the highest payroll for a team in last place? Whoever's on top, Isiah's determined to take you over, winning records and fan attendance be damned.
Ralph Sampson's knees haven't worked right since 1987. He's well into his 50's. I heard Isiah wanted to sign him to a six-year deal for $50 million.
No comments:
Post a Comment