Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Luigi Cascioli vs. Jesus

There's a man in Italy who's suing the Catholic Church for trying to pass off Jesus as a real human being and hustling billions of people worldwide throughout history. I think this is hilarious. Of course, it's only a matter of time before someone tries to kill this man.

What do I think about Jesus? Well...I have no proof one way or the other is he is/was real or not. I've seen pictures of a gravesite in Kashmir, Pakistan that's attributed to him (after walking out of that cave under his own power, traveling to Africa and eventually into Pakistan, where he married and had kids) and I've been told by hundreds of people throughout my life who swear up and down that the man died on a cross, came back to life and went to Heaven. I don't think I need to spell out which one at the very least sounds more plausible.

Whether he's real or not (which he very well could be...or very well could NOT be), the facts are as such: his life story isn't the least bit original and has been reused for centuries before Christianity has even been thought about, namely in Egypt, which is where a good amount of Christianity was "liberally borrowed." That whole "immaculate conception" thing has been used a few times as well as the resurrection gimmick. Can't say I blame the early Christians or the Catholics, because well...that's the kinda stuff that gets peoples' attention. And you gotta promote this religion right to get it off to a good start. It's just like selling a CD. And when the rapper conveniently gets shot around the same time his CD comes out, it just makes for better sales. Once those first 10,000 souls are converted, your religion is well on it's way to platinum status. Jesus turned out to be a very good hype man and the Apostles, a damn good street team.

Some would bring up the issue of faith, in that proof isn't needed in the case of God or Jesus. That's all well and good. On one hand, the nice guy side of me says that all that matters is what you believe. And I truly do think that. I can't prove everything I believe, but it's what makes sense to me, so I'm going to go with it, no matter how ludicrous a recurring explosion in the vastness of space that creates a universe that will eventually collapse on itself and explode again sounds. On the flip side, the cynic in me says that faith is for people who can't back up their argument in the slightest. Like those people who choose to ignore the dinosaurs not getting a mention in the Bible, but swear that the book is wholly factual. Or that guy Omar I used to work with, who refused to admit that evolution was real, even though the words he used to dismiss it were proving the argument for me.

So does any of this help answer whether or not Jesus is real or not? No, not really. For a minute, I was believing that he wasn't real, but the more I thought about it, there's a lot out there to back up that he was. For instance, I'm reading a book right now that suggests that not only is Jesus real, but his descendants were some of the earliest Europeans in America. The remaining Knights Templar, who left France in 1307, traveled north to England with the Holy Bloodline in tow (I know it sounds a lot like The Da Vinci Code, but it isn't), and from there, to Canada and moved inland. Along the way, the extinct Knights Templar gave way to groups like the Freemasons, who's earliest members were apparently, once Templars.

On the other hand, while Jesus could be real, like I said before, the Church had an agenda to promote. I don't trust the Bible for a second simply because it was created by man who claim that it's the Word of God and I shouldn't question it simply because my mortal mind couldn't hope to fathom the awesome levels at which the mind of a God can operate. Knowing that man is not to be trusted on that level, at least, and knowing about the Council of Nicaea electing for certain documents to go in the Bible and for some to be voted as heresy, such as anything the Gnostics believed. Basically, they went through all the old mixtapes and put together a compilation for a mainstream release, claiming it was all Jesus's hottest joints, including that collabo with John the Baptist and Simon Magus. At any rate, I think I'll go to a more unbiased Source for my historical information, mmmkay?

F'rinstance...the word is that King Herod never even went around looking for those little boys to be killed because he feared Jesus's coming. And I might not be that smart, but I'm pretty sure that the Earth is older than 6,000 years. And I tend to believe that the Church would institute a smear campaign to get people to put down their Pagan-pipes and get high on Jesus.

The bottom line, I guess is, it doesn't really matter what I say or what that court decides, because it's not really going to change much...unless the Vatican actually pulls out something that definitively proves one way or the other if Jesus is real. Something that isn't the Shroud of Turin. At this stage of the game, it's really no point, because even if it was proven that Jesus wasn't real, it's only going to cause a problem that's probably going to involve something burning down. If it's proven that he was real (regardless of whether or not the "miracles" were), it's just going to cause more loons and nuts knocking on doors and stopping me in public places asking me if my soul is saved. My response to that would be, "I do believe Lord Satan laid claim to that little trinket years ago, in exchange for a sampling of his unholy power," just before I roll my eyes into my head and start singing Beatles songs backwards.

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