Steve Kerr is off to a fine start as Phoenix Suns' General Manager.
The training wheels come off as he makes his first big trade and likely sends that Phoenix bike careening headlong into that San Antonio oncoming traffic. The Suns are reportedly trading the disgruntled Shawn Marion and the completely ineffective, yet overpaid Marcus Banks for Shaquille O'Neal, apparently so Steve Kerr can experience crushing defeat, after all those years of winning championships in Chicago and San Antonio. Steve Kerr is going to cripple the league's most explosive offense by adding a 35 year old center that has trouble just staying healthy these days, let alone running up and down the floor.
Of course, this gives Shawn Marion what he wants, which is a chance to prove that he can be the man, which he'll get every opportunity to do after Dwyane Wade gets hit with double teams and is forced to give the ball up. I say that to say that Wade is the man in Miami and will stay the man in Miami, unless Wade has a heroin habit that we don't know about yet. Dwyane Wade made one of the greatest players of all time HIS sidekick. What chance does Shawn Marion think he'll have of breaking out?
Months ago, I predicted that Marion would leave Phoenix and become the answer to "Whatever happened to...?" question. I set the over/under at 2 seasons.
Phoenix will have an extra $20 million in cap space to play with in two years, when Shaq's deal is up, and they get rid of a scowling face in the locker room, one with freakishly long arms, could jump out of the gym, and could defend four positions. I don't know what Shaq is getting, except the chance to actually hinder a team for once in his career. When asked for comment, Shaq quickly ended a phone conversation where his last words were, "Make sure no one can identify the body. She'll be home alone tomorrow night." I wonder what that was about.
In between short moments of actually doing what I was supposed to be doing at work, I thought about why this deal would actually be made. I can't say that Miami is really benefitting, because outside of Shaq and Udonis Haslem, everyone on their roster is a forward. I guess 6'2" Marcus Banks will break up the monotony. They still don't have a second dependable scorer, because unless I missed the part where Shawn Marion developed a game that didn't revolve around catching lobs from Steve Nash, they still don't have one. They still don't have any reliable outside shooting, but I guess having Marcus Banks is better than having Ricky Davis or an empty pair of sneakers out there. On a side note, the sneakers have a higher shooting percentage than Davis.
I don't see how Marion is benefitting, other than getting out of Phoenix, which is what he believes he wanted. But in two weeks, he'll be sitting on the bench wondering exactly when he smoked all the crack that made him think that leaving Nash was a good idea.
Phoenix isn't benefitting, because they just lost a key component to their offensive game plan. If this was Shaq 2000, I'd suggest bringing in some investigators, because there was some theivery that went down. Or at least some regret, because there would have had to been some embarrassing pictures involved. But that's not what they got. They got the 2008 model. This model is still pretty funny, but this one backfires when you start it up and the bumper falls off if you stop the car too fast. I don't see how the Suns are a better team with Shaq and not Marion, but then again, if I could see how this would work, I'd either have a much better paying job or an LSD habit.
So I guess the winner here is Shaq, because he's going to keep his streak of teams with records at .500 or better going, thanks to a mathematical impossibility (there's only 34 games left). He doesn't really have to work that hard, because all their positions are already filled. He's in the same division as L.A., which already has something of a rivalry with the Suns, and with Kobe still a Laker, I'm sure David Stern already has the promotion machine lined up, with advice from Don King.
Of course, purple's not really a slimming color. Just ask Charles Barkley. Even still, Shaq wins. And chubby chasers who are also basketball fans.
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