Saturday, October 04, 2008

That's it: Sarah Palin is a complete imbecile

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, in a desperate attempt to completely torpedo the McCain-Palin ticket, publicly stated that Barack Obama cannot be trusted because he's "palling around with terrorists." One can only assume that either she's throwing a temper tantrum because of the way she got handled by Joe Biden on Thursday or that Karl Rove personally wrote her speech.

Earlier in the day, the McCain campaign announced that they were going to get tougher on Obama, beginning with attacks on his character, through the Swiftboat-style attacks used on John Kerry used in 2004. I guess these attacks will be remembered for their complete lack of truth. The next attack is going to reveal how Barack has supplanted Lex Luthor as the Legion of Doom's leader in their ongoing battle with the Superfriends. I mean, since we're just pulling stuff out of the sky.

But really, this is how you want to play this? Barack Obama is fraternizing with terrorists? Jesus Christ, woman, do you really want to go here?

One definition of "terrorist" is " one who terrorizes or frightens others." By that very definition, that would define Sarah Palin as a terrorist, because knowing that she has tried to ban books, knowing that she's against abortion, even in cases of rape or incest, knowing that she really believes that being across the street from Russia counts as foreign policy experience, knowing that she has the same "cowboy" mentality as George W. Bush, and knowing that she could conceivably wind up being the President of the United States, I'm way more afraid of her than I am of anyone that Barack Obama may or may not know. In fact, thanks to Palin's history of trying to get people fired for opposing her, I'll go on record as accusing her of "racketeering."

I can go on about people who "terrorize or frighten" me: Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, the LAPD, the NYPD, Sean Hannity supporters, people who want to swing dicks with Russia right now, Sumner Redstone, and whatever is keeping Al Davis alive...the list is pretty extensive.

We can chalk all that up under "semantics," though, because I'm not an idiot and I understand that none of the above people are actually terrorists; just terribly and painfully misguided. Let's talk about actual "terrorist associations." George W. Bush: Why isn't she railing against him? Everybody knows that he's friends with the bin Ladens. You might have heard of them before. One of them was involved in a dust-up of some sort a few years back. That "terrorist association" is what got the bin Ladens escorted from the country on Sept. 11, 2001, and I'd go so far as to say that "terrorist association" is the reason why we can't find Osama bin Laden right now.

Poppa George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Ronald Reagan...we all know about their ties with Saddam Hussein in the 1980s, as well as Osama bin Laden and al-Qaida, during their battles with the Soviet Union in Afghanistan. And they're all Republicans, just like you. We know that's why you don't throw them under the bus, you partisan cheerleader. Let's not get into who associates with terrorists and who doesn't.

William Ayers, on the other hand, had charges against him dropped in 1974 and he turned himself in anyway in 1980, according to Reuters, CNN, and that bastion of accuracy, Wikipedia. Of course, "Faux News" left that part out of their report, because they're not a real news organization. I had never heard of the guy before, but thanks to Sarah Palin's desire to tear down Barack Obama because she doesn't even know what her own news sources are, I've discovered a person that I want to read up on, because he's got some interesting views. William Ayers is currently a professor of education at the University of Illinois in Chicago, not living in a cave in Afghanistan or a cabin in the woods of Montana. To tell you the truth, with his well-paying and respectable profession and loving family (wife, three kids, one adopted), he's really blowing it as a terrorist.

And as far as Barack's association with Ayers goes, apparently, they met a few times back when Barack was running for Senate and they happened to live in the same neighborhood. Yeah, they sound like blood brothers to me. According to the New York Times, "the two men do not appear to have been close. Nor has Mr. Obama ever expressed sympathy for the radical views and actions of Mr. Ayers, whom he has called 'somebody who engaged in detestable acts 40 years ago, when I was 8.' "
In fairness, the full quote was "I was 8, you fucking retard."

These are the kinds of things that have proven to turn off voters in today's climate. People are sick and tired of the childish mudslinging, because really, who gives a rat's ass? Even though Palin claims to read everything, she must not have heard that voters were completely turned off in 2006 by negative campaigning. And really, last I checked, we were all Americans. There is no "other side." It's just us. Well, us and Knicks fans.

I know it was hard to tell, based on the schoolyard-level debating that Palin did on Thursday, but we're all adults here. Either she should admit that she can't talk about the issues because she doesn't know, or just go the hell back to Alaska. Grown-ups don't have the time to listen to her bring up stuff that ultimately doesn't matter, because if it did, George W. Bush's decades-long alcoholic haze and Bill Clinton's weed habit would have kept both of them out of the White House. Grow the fuck up.

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