Monday, November 16, 2009

The Gospel According to Thad Ochocinco 11/20/09

Sometimes, I have thoughts on things that I can't or don't want to stretch into a full length blog post. So because I don't have Twitter, those thoughts will wind up here. Just random observations about the world at large.

What do I think about...

...holding the 9/11 trials in New York? "Like there's any chance of KSM getting off or screaming any political statements. Please. They know going in what's about to go down. This will be a show trial and those men will be made into examples of how not to attack the United States."

...Oxford Dictionary making "unfriend" its Word of the Year? "I don't think putting made up words into the dictionary is going to increase circulation. How often do people buy dictionaries?"

...Allen Iverson getting waived by the Grizzlies? "Oh, so Mike Conley and OJ Mayo were better options than Allen Iverson? Please. But don't let him stand in the way of Memphis getting back to losing in front of the arena staff."

...Allen Iverson not getting signed by the Knicks? "Yeah, getting blown out night after night is doing wonders for your young players' self-esteem."

...Ravens/Browns as the Monday Night game? "Just in case you were watching too much entertaining football..."

...the Tila Tequila uStream meltdown? "I don't know why she didn't just leave it up. It's not like we're looking at Tila Tequila as a model of respectability. What, does she think she has something left to hide after "A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila?"

...Eric Mangini? "How is it that he's a bad coach now when three years ago, he was 'Mangenius?'"

...the Carrie Prejean sextapes? "It's your only hope of staying in the public eye. Like anyone gives a shit about your book. The only respected pageant winner EVER was Vanessa Williams and we'd all be lying if we said we remembered anything she ever said about anything."

...the Klan's rally at Ole Miss on Saturday? "These are people bitching about others 'attacking their way of life,' which consists solely of attacking others way of life. Like I need another reason to say 'fuck you' to the Klan."

...the reviews for "New Moon?" "It's a movie based on a book by an author so bad, she's doing her college a disservice by admitting that she went there. I hope you weren't expecting high art."

..."New Moon's" record-setting midnight box office? "Never underestimate the power of teenage girls in large groups. Oh, and inflation. Can't forget that."

...Sarah Palin's book? "So I'm supposed to believe that a person who admittedly doesn't read and has tried to ban books from the library when she was still mayor of Wasilla has actually written a book? With substance in it? I'll never believe that. She couldn't even fend off Katie Couric."

...the Swine Flu? "Maybe it'll be dangerous next year. This year, the 4,000 deaths from swine flu are a 1/9th of the total number of deaths from real flu. Calm the fuck down."

...the kids on the burning bus in New York? "Look, I'm glad they're okay, but you have to admit, it sounded like a headline that would include Spider-Man in some way. '35 Kids Rescued From Burning Bus on Verrazano Bridge.' I was looking for a 'Daily Bugle' logo above it."

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