First, special shout out to that kid who threw the bat at the umpire. Thank you for giving me probably the funniest sports moment since Jermaine ONeal jammed his fist right into some fat slobs face just before he fell on his ass. Yall cant tell me that shit wasnt funny. I know its wrong, but its funny. Fuckin funny.
Now, there are some sports teams that everyone just seems to hate. Usually, its an isolated thing, where one city is pretty hostile towards a certain team. For instance, its a given that when the Cowboys go to Philadelphia, the crowd is going to be EXTRA hostile. Then there are those teams who seem to be hated, no matter where they go. In basketball, its the following five teams. And according to the spell checker, theyre hated so much that Ive made up a new word to describe the level of vitriol thrown their way. Of course, it might just be the five teams that I hate the most. Anyway, the five most hateable teams ever.
5. Reggie Miller's Indiana Pacers
This was a pretty well respected team, overall. They played hard, they played fairly clean, yet physical when they needed to. Yet, most people couldnt name more than one player on this team. If I were to say "Rik Smits" or "Haywood Workman," most people would stare at me blankly. But when I say "Reggie Miller," peoples' expressions change because they start remembering that time where he cut their teams heart out and pissed on it at center court. And because Reggie Miller IS the Pacers, the rest of the team is hateable by default. Hes not as entertaining as everyone elses favorite player. He doesnt have those fancy passes or monster dunks. All he does he shoot threes from anywhere on the court and make themat the wrongdamntimes. Usually, during a close game with 5 minutes or less on the clock in the 4th quarter. Or hell find a way to get on the line even though he was the one who fouled the one who was whistled. Or hell talk more trash than anyone else on the courtthen go out and back it all up. And when hes beaten you, hell rub it in. This guys body should have been found in a dumpster somewhere.
4. Patrick Ewing's New York Knicks
Thugs. Thats all this team was. Just a bunch of hoodlums and thugs. The roster over the years reads like a lineup of players who would look more at ease on America's Most Wanted. Xavier McDaniel. Charles Oakley. John Starks. Anthony Mason. A team of niggas who played and acted like niggas. And they were the perfect nemesis to the most beloved player on the planet: Michael Jordan. Combine that with their physical style (they secretly believed they were all linebackers and safeties) and their freakish and bestial leader, Patrick Ewing, who looked like he should be swinging from the trees. Its easy to see why people hated the Knicks. They were beating the crap out of Jordan multiple times a year and when the playoffs came, it only got worse. Jumping up and down on peoples rib cages or dropkicking people in the face. They did it all. Mostly to the Chicago Bulls.
3. Duke University
This team just always tends to have a player whos hateable. Christian Laettner. Steve Wojciechowski. Bobby Hurley. J.J. Redick. Guys who look like they shouldn't be able to play. They either look like that guy who made the high school team because he was tall (at my school, his name was Jason Teeter), or that short white kid who always gets trapped in the backcourt during 21 and is forced to throw up a prayer every time. Basically, they all look like guys who have no business being on a basketball court. But they win. They always win. They go on the road to whatever you school you like and beat the crap out of them. Their coach makes faces like last night's gerbil is still making moves, roundabout his colonic area. Thing is, most people can't explain why they dont like this team, unless they're UNC fans. They just attract hatred. I mean, look at them.
2. Detroit Pistons
The Original Bad Boys. What can I say about this team that hasnt been said about Dick Cheney? The thing that put this team above the Knicks is that they beat up more teams. The Knicks were only really known for being physical with the Bulls, while the Pistons abused the Bulls, the Celtics, the Sixers, the Lakers...treated them like prison bitches, they did. Theres at least one player on every team who was elbowed in the face by Bill Laimbeer or suplexed by Rick Mahorn. I swear, they even hit some people with steel chairs, but that got swept under the rug. This team was so dirty that Dennis Rodman was overshadowed until he got away from Detroit. Fights were a pretty common occurrence during their games, because they spent so much time trying to introduce elements of hockey and UFC into basketball, and the thing that pissed people off more than anything is that they tended to get away with it. Bulls fans know first hand. They beat up Scottie Pippen so bad, he was forced to become a man.
1. Larry Bird's Boston Celtics
This team is number one for one simple reason...we are all haters. This is probably the only team in the modern era thats hated down racial lines, as far as I know. Every kid I knew in the 80s hated the Celtics and we didn't even know why. The thing was, it was a white team beating black teams and we DID NOT like it. I know Robert Parish, Dennis Johnson, KC Jones and ML Carr were all black. I know. But the stars of the team, Larry Bird and Kevin HcHale, were white. Danny Ainge, one of the most hateable players of all time, was white. Bill Walton, the most overrated center of all time, was white. So youve got a white team playing in the most Irish city in America and beating black men at a game that was viewed as a BLACK game. We had to watch all of our heroes fall to this team, whether it was Magic, Michael, Doc, Nique, or Isiah, and it was PAINFUL to see. Watching Doc jab Bird in his face repeatedly kinda makes up for it, though. Its a wonder there werent more fights than there were. Watching Larry Bird drop 40 on you when he has no physical advantage over anyone on the court is kinda hard to take.