Welcome to the Early Summer Edition of the list of songs that are annoying the crap out of me. You’d think that there would be a lot of popular songs on this list, and you’d be wrong, because I don’t watch videos and I don’t listen to any radio stations that play any of the crap that we all know would really piss me off, like “Tatted Up” or the Usher/R. Kelly collabo that I still have yet to hear. My listening to those stations wouldn’t be a good thing for me or you. Or them, for that matter, because that could be the final tic that sends me over the edge. But these songs are the ones that have found their way into my headspace, despite my best efforts to keep them out.
Lost Without You – Robin Thicke
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not a bad song. Quite the contrary, in fact. It’s just a victim of what radio stations always do with a good song: Actively try to make you hate it. What’s most impressive here is, I only listen to the radio for an hour in the morning every day and they’ve still managed to make me want to drive my car into oncoming traffic every time it comes on. The radio stations must be able to detect my nausea, so they alternate it every morning with the next song on this list…
Please Don’t Go – Tank
And really, I wish he would go. I know it’s a hackneyed joke, but dammit, I’m sick of this song. I never even thought it was that good in the first place. Now, this is the first time I’ve ever actually listened to Tank. When he first came out, he happened to be a victim of the Great R&B Boycott of the late 90s. But having listened to him, I’m just not that impressed. Being a child of the 80s and early 90s, I quickly grew tired of hearing grown men whine when Keith Sweat came out, so you can see why hearing this man screech the words “please don’t go” over and over could tend to grate on my nerves just a little. Let me just lay this question out there: With a name like “Tank,” does anyone else think he should sound like Teddy P or is it just me?
Right Now – Pussycat Dolls
And don’t think that this is the last time they’re going to show up on this list. As far as this song goes, I don’t even know if there’s more to the song than the hook, because that’s the only part ABC ever plays. Obviously, for reasons beyond the ken of my understanding, nothing says “playoff basketball” like a Pussycat Dolls song. It must be nice to live in the fantasy world of the marketing executive. Last year, it was Tom Petty (I think) and this year, the Pussycat Dolls. I’m willing to bet that every year, they just put their iPod on shuffle and pick the 12th song that it plays. Why 12th? I guess for the same reasons that you’d play the Pussycat Dolls during a basketball game.
Don’t Cha – Pussycat Dolls
When the promise of a Busta Rhymes verse couldn’t get me to stomach this song again, you knew it was in trouble. And it’s not like anyone could take a song seriously when it contained a line like “Don’t cha wish your girl was a freak like me?” There could be worse lines, but I don’t know because I’ve only heard it once. After a while, the song went away, but in a strange turn of events, it was remade by someone else less than a year later, inserted into a beer commercial and played during basketball games, where I wouldn’t be able to escape from it. Anyone who’s familiar with remakes can probably back me up here: Hearing the remake automatically makes me revert back to the original song. Except in this case, the original song sucks, too. Why would you do a crappy remake of a song that wasn’t good to begin with, not even a year after it came out? And why am I being punished with it during every commercial break? I already have to open and close the commercial breaks with “Right Now,” and somewhere in there, the remake of “Don’t Cha” gets played, because Heineken just couldn’t do any better. It’s the kind of conundrum that could just make your head explode.
Irreplaceable – Beyonce
You know what, Bianca? I’ve tried to be nice to you over the years. When you were with Destiny’s Child, I didn’t get on you too much for the fact that out of six or seven total members, you were the only one who couldn’t dance. Hell, I can’t dance, either. I tried (and failed miserably) to get past your squealing phase during “Writing’s on the Wall.” I even wrote you a letter of support back when everyone else seemed to hate you. And when you and Jay-Z got together, I tried to embrace you just because it would make things easier between the three of us. But I just can’t live this lie anymore. I just don’t like you. And clearly, you don’t like me. I say this because you keep putting out songs that annoy the crap out of me AND singing them in a way that makes me want to punch the radio every time I hear your voice. “Irreplaceable” was the last straw. I hate this song, cannot escape it, and I don’t even listen to radio stations that play it.
Remember The Name – Fort Minor
This song has been in my life for the last two or three years, and I’ve actually prayed that the meteor that’s going to kill us all would hit before someone else could use this song in something sports related. I don’t even think Fort Minor had another song besides this one, but who needs one when you’ve got endless royalties coming from a modest hit (and that’s being kind) that’s forever being supported by unimaginative monkeys in the production department? It was a smart move to use it for TNT’s NBA coverage…in 2004-05. Then, the TV series “Friday Night Lights” decided to use it for their promotion, which was constant. Then “Gridiron Gang” decided to use it for its promotion, which was also constant. Apparently, TV and movie execs don’t know how to promote in any other way besides “driving you to suicide.” And when you factor in that TNT is STILL using that song in 2007, it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone reading when I say that if I ever see anyone from Fort Minor in Decatur (and actually recognize them), I’ll finally be able to add the first notch to my “Celebrities I Ran Over With My Car” belt.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Sunday, May 06, 2007
A Short Missive About the Hate Crime Bill
There are people out there who are against the changes to the Hate Crime bill that add gay people to this list of people who fall under its protection. They claim that it infringes on their right to oppose homosexuality.
My bad...I wasn't aware that opening someone's skull with a cinder block was an expression of free speech.
Come on, people. You can't be serious.
No one's saying that you gotta like gay people or have them over for dinner. You can not like them all you want to. You just can't light them on fire or hang them from trees or shoot them for allegedly whistling at you. I don't see how that's hard to do. Since when did it become a struggle not to engage in violence?
It's that line of thinking that has the law there in the first place. Apparently, bigots haven't learned much since the law was first enacted to help protect black people. I mean, it's not like these people are doing anything to you. Other than, you know...existing and living their lives. I mean, how dare they?
I understand a lot of people don't agree with the law in the first place, as they say that it makes some crimes more illegal than others. Then again, when a bunch of dudes jump in a truck to go attack someone who didn't even do anything other than enjoy sucking dick in the privacy of his own home...well, I'd say that's a special kind of crime that deserves a special kind of penalty.
Gay people deserve special protection mainly because a whole lot of you can't seem to keep control when you see one. The problem isn't with them. It's with you. Because if you look at a gay person and can't control your completely-made-up urge to tie them to the back of your truck, I'd say you're probably secretly gay yourself.
My bad...I wasn't aware that opening someone's skull with a cinder block was an expression of free speech.
Come on, people. You can't be serious.
No one's saying that you gotta like gay people or have them over for dinner. You can not like them all you want to. You just can't light them on fire or hang them from trees or shoot them for allegedly whistling at you. I don't see how that's hard to do. Since when did it become a struggle not to engage in violence?
It's that line of thinking that has the law there in the first place. Apparently, bigots haven't learned much since the law was first enacted to help protect black people. I mean, it's not like these people are doing anything to you. Other than, you know...existing and living their lives. I mean, how dare they?
I understand a lot of people don't agree with the law in the first place, as they say that it makes some crimes more illegal than others. Then again, when a bunch of dudes jump in a truck to go attack someone who didn't even do anything other than enjoy sucking dick in the privacy of his own home...well, I'd say that's a special kind of crime that deserves a special kind of penalty.
Gay people deserve special protection mainly because a whole lot of you can't seem to keep control when you see one. The problem isn't with them. It's with you. Because if you look at a gay person and can't control your completely-made-up urge to tie them to the back of your truck, I'd say you're probably secretly gay yourself.
Keep Snitchin'
Please…snitch more.
Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never understood the “Stop Snitching” Movement. So, you’re telling me that if a person commits a crime right in front of me, I shouldn’t help that person find their rightful jail cell? You’re telling me that they’re somehow right in their actions?
From what I’ve been able to understand, it’s supposed to be a black thing. But I don’t feel that way. No, I don’t entirely trust the cops. THAT is a black thing. But if it comes down to the person that’s selling drugs on my block versus the people who are paid to arrest people who sell drugs on my block, then guess which side I’m siding with?
And I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s not like the drug dealer is my friend. I’m not telling on him, I’m doing what I can to help my community. I don’t know about that guy’s life and I truly don’t care, because, well…he’s selling drugs. I wasn’t aware that I should be sympathetic. It’s not like he’s doing it to help improve the neighborhood. The money he makes isn’t going back into the community.
Maybe I’m missing the point here.
Of course, there’s the thing about criminals “snitching” on other criminals. Somehow, that’s supposed to be wrong, but let’s look at this: Both sides are doing illegal stuff. Neither side has morals. But there’s supposed to be some kind of honor amongst thieves? Seriously, you shouldn’t be surprised. In fact, how could you not see it coming? Let’s face it, you’re probably not friends and even if you are, how can you really trust someone who robs, steals, or kills for a living? You’re the fool for getting in the mix with him in the first place.
What’s funny is, the “Stop Snitching” Movement was popularized by a series of DVDs and T-Shirts put out by a company called “Let Us Live Entertainment.” That name kills me, because they’re called Let Us Live, but they want to live on the pain and death of others. Why can’t you “Let THEM Live?”
There are people out there wearing these shirts into courtrooms, trying to intimidate witnesses who are testifying against known murderers. Now, I don’t know any murderers, but should you ever kill anyone, your best bet is not to tell me about it. I might tell, I might not, but I will tell you to do the right thing and turn yourself in. However, don’t be surprised if I testify against you. You did wrong. You know you did wrong. You can’t really expect me not to tell what I know. If you were a real friend, you wouldn’t expect me to risk myself to protect you. I would never ask a friend to do that for me. I don’t think a real friend would let a person go on thinking that they’re right for doing something wrong. Maybe it’s because I’m one of those rare people who prefer to know the truth.
Thing is, this disconnect that we have between the cops and black people has nothing to do with criminals and everything to do with the fact that cops in black neighborhoods were not there to protect the citizens. But criminals and hip-hop have taken a justifiable concern and perverted it so they can get over. And they’ve convinced a healthy number of you dumb motherfuckers to act like it’s the right thing to do.
They aren’t united with you. This isn’t a new “black movement.” It’s some dumb shit that’s holding us back as a people. Plain and simple. The drug dealers in your neighborhood don’t give a hell about you. The dude that’s robbing houses don’t give a hell about you. Every black man in jail is NOT a political prisoner or falsely accused. Stupid ass rappers like Cam’ron…I don’t know why you’d listen to him, anyway. First of all, this is a cat that prefers the respect of teenagers to his own peers. Secondly, he said to Anderson Cooper that he wouldn’t rat on a serial killer living next door. He said he’d move.
That shit ain’t noble. Because when the serial killer gets someone at YOUR house, and you find out that Cam’ron knew he was there and moved away instead of telling (his words, not mine), do you really think that you’re gonna be talking all that “Code of the Street” noise then? Do you really believe that you won’t tell the cops that you saw a dude come through your window with an ax and get to swinging? If you won’t, then you’s a stupid motherfucker. We’ll see if you call them when that guy comes back. Meanwhile, Cam’ron has moved, ‘cause he can afford it. Across the hall, you’re wiping up your relatives with paper towels.
Oh, my bad. You can’t clean it up yet, because it’s still fresh evidence.
Fuck the “Stop Snitching” movement.
Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never understood the “Stop Snitching” Movement. So, you’re telling me that if a person commits a crime right in front of me, I shouldn’t help that person find their rightful jail cell? You’re telling me that they’re somehow right in their actions?
From what I’ve been able to understand, it’s supposed to be a black thing. But I don’t feel that way. No, I don’t entirely trust the cops. THAT is a black thing. But if it comes down to the person that’s selling drugs on my block versus the people who are paid to arrest people who sell drugs on my block, then guess which side I’m siding with?
And I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s not like the drug dealer is my friend. I’m not telling on him, I’m doing what I can to help my community. I don’t know about that guy’s life and I truly don’t care, because, well…he’s selling drugs. I wasn’t aware that I should be sympathetic. It’s not like he’s doing it to help improve the neighborhood. The money he makes isn’t going back into the community.
Maybe I’m missing the point here.
Of course, there’s the thing about criminals “snitching” on other criminals. Somehow, that’s supposed to be wrong, but let’s look at this: Both sides are doing illegal stuff. Neither side has morals. But there’s supposed to be some kind of honor amongst thieves? Seriously, you shouldn’t be surprised. In fact, how could you not see it coming? Let’s face it, you’re probably not friends and even if you are, how can you really trust someone who robs, steals, or kills for a living? You’re the fool for getting in the mix with him in the first place.
What’s funny is, the “Stop Snitching” Movement was popularized by a series of DVDs and T-Shirts put out by a company called “Let Us Live Entertainment.” That name kills me, because they’re called Let Us Live, but they want to live on the pain and death of others. Why can’t you “Let THEM Live?”
There are people out there wearing these shirts into courtrooms, trying to intimidate witnesses who are testifying against known murderers. Now, I don’t know any murderers, but should you ever kill anyone, your best bet is not to tell me about it. I might tell, I might not, but I will tell you to do the right thing and turn yourself in. However, don’t be surprised if I testify against you. You did wrong. You know you did wrong. You can’t really expect me not to tell what I know. If you were a real friend, you wouldn’t expect me to risk myself to protect you. I would never ask a friend to do that for me. I don’t think a real friend would let a person go on thinking that they’re right for doing something wrong. Maybe it’s because I’m one of those rare people who prefer to know the truth.
Thing is, this disconnect that we have between the cops and black people has nothing to do with criminals and everything to do with the fact that cops in black neighborhoods were not there to protect the citizens. But criminals and hip-hop have taken a justifiable concern and perverted it so they can get over. And they’ve convinced a healthy number of you dumb motherfuckers to act like it’s the right thing to do.
They aren’t united with you. This isn’t a new “black movement.” It’s some dumb shit that’s holding us back as a people. Plain and simple. The drug dealers in your neighborhood don’t give a hell about you. The dude that’s robbing houses don’t give a hell about you. Every black man in jail is NOT a political prisoner or falsely accused. Stupid ass rappers like Cam’ron…I don’t know why you’d listen to him, anyway. First of all, this is a cat that prefers the respect of teenagers to his own peers. Secondly, he said to Anderson Cooper that he wouldn’t rat on a serial killer living next door. He said he’d move.
That shit ain’t noble. Because when the serial killer gets someone at YOUR house, and you find out that Cam’ron knew he was there and moved away instead of telling (his words, not mine), do you really think that you’re gonna be talking all that “Code of the Street” noise then? Do you really believe that you won’t tell the cops that you saw a dude come through your window with an ax and get to swinging? If you won’t, then you’s a stupid motherfucker. We’ll see if you call them when that guy comes back. Meanwhile, Cam’ron has moved, ‘cause he can afford it. Across the hall, you’re wiping up your relatives with paper towels.
Oh, my bad. You can’t clean it up yet, because it’s still fresh evidence.
Fuck the “Stop Snitching” movement.
The Moron Lexicon: Unconscious Racism
(this is at least a couple of months old. Just bear with me.)
A new term has come to my attention that describes the supposed unintentional bigotry by people who don’t know that they’re doing it. It’s called “unconscious racism,” and we need to nip this in the bud right now.
Don’t invent words to excuse people who get caught tucking in their Klan robes. I don’t know how long this term has been around, but it popped up in my life during “Paula Zahn Now,” while she was covering this mess at Clemson with that party with the white kids dressed like “black people.” This isn’t the first time I’ve heard of this happening, but there’s smoke in the city right now, mainly because white people are doing damage control before black people really get started.
The white kids claim that they didn’t know that they were offending anyone. I’ve tried to claim that I didn’t know that women don’t like to have their breasts fondled and called “chesticles” at work, but that doesn’t mean anyone believed it. It’s why I’m out of a job now. And if I had to go down for that, then some spoiled white kids should have to do the same for making elaborate black jokes when there are no black people around.
And that’s one of the reasons why I know that they knew what they were doing. They saw to it that there would be no black people there. Claiming ignorance is like claiming that you didn’t know that Indian people don’t like it when you push the red dot on their foreheads. Punjab isn’t going to be any happier with you than Leroy is.
If you didn’t know that you were going to offend someone, why did you do it on Martin Luther King’s birthday? You couldn’t have thought that we were going to be happy about the whole thing. And if you did, I guess Clemson has lower admissions standards than I thought. Only a person who regularly eats paste could be that stupid.
And even throwing all of that out of the window, let’s be real here. You are grown-ass college students. You go to a major university. There are black people there and chances are, these aren’t the first black people you’ve ever met. Some of you have caught the beating of a lifetime after saying the word “nigger.” So you know better. If you know why you shouldn’t say “nigger,” then you know not to dress up like that where they can see you. By planning, throwing, and attending that party, you have said more about who you really are than your half-ass apologies ever could. If you weren’t bigoted in some way, you wouldn’t have even been there. You would have thought to yourself, “this is some racist bullshit,” and stayed your ass at home.
But that’s not what you did. You and all your cracker-white friends got together, put on some “urban wear,” stuffed your flat-backsides with pillows to add some shape to your body, and one of you even had the nerve to dress up in blackface. You probably talked in slang and played rap music the whole night. And it was jolly good fun, wasn’t it?
The ironic part is, you really do listen to our music, wear our clothes, subvert our culture, wish that you had big dicks and shapely asses, full lips, curly hair, rhythm, and darker skin. You wish that your people were viewed as the purveyors of what is “cool.” You wish that your people weren’t viewed as the cause of all that’s wrong in this world. You wish that you could say the “n-word.”
Well, for one night, you got your wish. If there was any real justice, you’d get dealt with as harshly as we would if the shoe was on the other foot. If there was any real justice, you’d get the kind of punishment that a gang of us would have gotten if we had showed up at that party and saw what your asses were up to.
Here’s a tip for next time you want to express your “unconscious racism:” Don’t take pictures and post them on a website. That’s just asking for trouble.
“Unconscious racism.” That’s about as ridiculous as “trustworthy Catholic priest,” or “rock music that you can dance to.” Or, of course, “daylights.”
A new term has come to my attention that describes the supposed unintentional bigotry by people who don’t know that they’re doing it. It’s called “unconscious racism,” and we need to nip this in the bud right now.
Don’t invent words to excuse people who get caught tucking in their Klan robes. I don’t know how long this term has been around, but it popped up in my life during “Paula Zahn Now,” while she was covering this mess at Clemson with that party with the white kids dressed like “black people.” This isn’t the first time I’ve heard of this happening, but there’s smoke in the city right now, mainly because white people are doing damage control before black people really get started.
The white kids claim that they didn’t know that they were offending anyone. I’ve tried to claim that I didn’t know that women don’t like to have their breasts fondled and called “chesticles” at work, but that doesn’t mean anyone believed it. It’s why I’m out of a job now. And if I had to go down for that, then some spoiled white kids should have to do the same for making elaborate black jokes when there are no black people around.
And that’s one of the reasons why I know that they knew what they were doing. They saw to it that there would be no black people there. Claiming ignorance is like claiming that you didn’t know that Indian people don’t like it when you push the red dot on their foreheads. Punjab isn’t going to be any happier with you than Leroy is.
If you didn’t know that you were going to offend someone, why did you do it on Martin Luther King’s birthday? You couldn’t have thought that we were going to be happy about the whole thing. And if you did, I guess Clemson has lower admissions standards than I thought. Only a person who regularly eats paste could be that stupid.
And even throwing all of that out of the window, let’s be real here. You are grown-ass college students. You go to a major university. There are black people there and chances are, these aren’t the first black people you’ve ever met. Some of you have caught the beating of a lifetime after saying the word “nigger.” So you know better. If you know why you shouldn’t say “nigger,” then you know not to dress up like that where they can see you. By planning, throwing, and attending that party, you have said more about who you really are than your half-ass apologies ever could. If you weren’t bigoted in some way, you wouldn’t have even been there. You would have thought to yourself, “this is some racist bullshit,” and stayed your ass at home.
But that’s not what you did. You and all your cracker-white friends got together, put on some “urban wear,” stuffed your flat-backsides with pillows to add some shape to your body, and one of you even had the nerve to dress up in blackface. You probably talked in slang and played rap music the whole night. And it was jolly good fun, wasn’t it?
The ironic part is, you really do listen to our music, wear our clothes, subvert our culture, wish that you had big dicks and shapely asses, full lips, curly hair, rhythm, and darker skin. You wish that your people were viewed as the purveyors of what is “cool.” You wish that your people weren’t viewed as the cause of all that’s wrong in this world. You wish that you could say the “n-word.”
Well, for one night, you got your wish. If there was any real justice, you’d get dealt with as harshly as we would if the shoe was on the other foot. If there was any real justice, you’d get the kind of punishment that a gang of us would have gotten if we had showed up at that party and saw what your asses were up to.
Here’s a tip for next time you want to express your “unconscious racism:” Don’t take pictures and post them on a website. That’s just asking for trouble.
“Unconscious racism.” That’s about as ridiculous as “trustworthy Catholic priest,” or “rock music that you can dance to.” Or, of course, “daylights.”
Prayer is NOT the answer
(written a couple of days after the VT shootings...I know it's dated now)
Okay, maybe that’s a bit extreme.
But, in the wake of the Virginia Tech massacre, the bible-thumpers have been out in force. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to be force-fed religion in the face of a national tragedy.
I know a lot of people look to religion for comfort in times of duress. I know there are people out there who believe that religion is the thing to cure all ills. I know a lot of people find all the answers that they’re looking for in their religious texts. I am not one of those people.
I’m the kind of person who asks questions like, “Why isn’t there an alternative option to women,” or “Can my voice get stuck like that if I inhale too much helium?” I haven’t read either the Bible or the Koran in their entirety, but it’s a safe bet that they haven’t addressed those topics yet. Nope, not even in the back. And if your answer is ever “Because it is the will of God,” I’m telling you flat out, your answer isn’t good enough.
So I’m sure you can see why I might get a slight bit annoyed when this lady called into the Steve Harvey show the other day and said that this happened because we don’t have prayer in schools. This led to a discussion about how Billy Graham’s daughter said something that Steve Harvey and Co. found to be extremely profound. After Hurricane Katrina, this lady got on TV or radio or something (I don’t know, because I don’t listen to the relatives of crackpots too much), and said something to the effect of, “if you ask God to get out of your schools and government and etc, etc, you can’t get mad at him when stuff like this happens.”
So to someone like me, I wonder, how is this helping? Aren’t you supposed to be comforting, say….someone? I don’t think that the destruction of an entire coastal area is the time to remind us all that you believe that your God is an omnipotent child who says, “I’ll show you.”
Steve Harvey and crew, being the religious type, bought into that mess. Me, I think she’s full of it.
Pat Robertson had comments like this in the wake of September 11, basically blaming America for what happened, by saying being nice to gay people caused 19 loons pretend that they were in a real life Jerry Bruckheimer movie. Not only do I think Pat Robertson is crazy, I also think that comments like that are irresponsible and anyone who takes him seriously shouldn’t be allowed to procreate. Again, how is that helping the situation? Weren’t you watching the same newscast as I was? You had to be, because it was literally on every channel.
So listening to this lady on Steve Harvey’s show blather on about how we need prayer in schools and not to take “In God We Trust” off of the money and to essentially ignore the separation of church and state, and to have Steve and Tommy agree with her, needless to say, I was ready to call into the show myself and curse at all of them.
Let’s be adults here. If a guy decides that he needs to shoot up 32 people to feel better about his life, then kill himself, having prayer in schools and God’s name on our money isn’t really gonna help too much. Clearly, the guy was unstable, and according to reports that I’ve seen, had a problem dealing with rejection. The solution to THAT is good parenting and in extreme cases, counseling. All having prayer in schools is gonna do is piss some people off. Like, roughly half the country.
As far as “In God We Trust” is concerned, I don’t believe that was even always on the money. I don’t know for certain, but I do know that the Founding Fathers of this country weren’t necessarily Christians. They were agnostic, at best and in some cases, flat out atheists. There was a reason for the separation of church and state. I know that we didn’t start adding God’s name to the pledge of allegiance until the 40s and that was a political move, to contrast ourselves against the atheistic Communists. So don’t act like government moving away from religion is the root of all of our problems. If anything, we’re doing things more like we were supposed to, to begin with.
It just bothers me that people will take this situation as an opportunity to try to convert people or the take shots at the rest of us for not drinking the Kool-Aid that they’re serving. I think it’s uncalled for and really, it stinks of childishness. You might as well be making faces at us with your thumbs in your ears, going “neener, neener, neener.” Either way, you’re being about as sensitive to the feelings of others.
You want to do something helpful? Just say a prayer for those who lost their lives and their families. Try being an example for the positive things that your religion could bring if you weren’t busy being so damn negative. Maybe if you did that, your religion wouldn’t be cast in such a negative light so much.
Go pray on that.
Okay, maybe that’s a bit extreme.
But, in the wake of the Virginia Tech massacre, the bible-thumpers have been out in force. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to be force-fed religion in the face of a national tragedy.
I know a lot of people look to religion for comfort in times of duress. I know there are people out there who believe that religion is the thing to cure all ills. I know a lot of people find all the answers that they’re looking for in their religious texts. I am not one of those people.
I’m the kind of person who asks questions like, “Why isn’t there an alternative option to women,” or “Can my voice get stuck like that if I inhale too much helium?” I haven’t read either the Bible or the Koran in their entirety, but it’s a safe bet that they haven’t addressed those topics yet. Nope, not even in the back. And if your answer is ever “Because it is the will of God,” I’m telling you flat out, your answer isn’t good enough.
So I’m sure you can see why I might get a slight bit annoyed when this lady called into the Steve Harvey show the other day and said that this happened because we don’t have prayer in schools. This led to a discussion about how Billy Graham’s daughter said something that Steve Harvey and Co. found to be extremely profound. After Hurricane Katrina, this lady got on TV or radio or something (I don’t know, because I don’t listen to the relatives of crackpots too much), and said something to the effect of, “if you ask God to get out of your schools and government and etc, etc, you can’t get mad at him when stuff like this happens.”
So to someone like me, I wonder, how is this helping? Aren’t you supposed to be comforting, say….someone? I don’t think that the destruction of an entire coastal area is the time to remind us all that you believe that your God is an omnipotent child who says, “I’ll show you.”
Steve Harvey and crew, being the religious type, bought into that mess. Me, I think she’s full of it.
Pat Robertson had comments like this in the wake of September 11, basically blaming America for what happened, by saying being nice to gay people caused 19 loons pretend that they were in a real life Jerry Bruckheimer movie. Not only do I think Pat Robertson is crazy, I also think that comments like that are irresponsible and anyone who takes him seriously shouldn’t be allowed to procreate. Again, how is that helping the situation? Weren’t you watching the same newscast as I was? You had to be, because it was literally on every channel.
So listening to this lady on Steve Harvey’s show blather on about how we need prayer in schools and not to take “In God We Trust” off of the money and to essentially ignore the separation of church and state, and to have Steve and Tommy agree with her, needless to say, I was ready to call into the show myself and curse at all of them.
Let’s be adults here. If a guy decides that he needs to shoot up 32 people to feel better about his life, then kill himself, having prayer in schools and God’s name on our money isn’t really gonna help too much. Clearly, the guy was unstable, and according to reports that I’ve seen, had a problem dealing with rejection. The solution to THAT is good parenting and in extreme cases, counseling. All having prayer in schools is gonna do is piss some people off. Like, roughly half the country.
As far as “In God We Trust” is concerned, I don’t believe that was even always on the money. I don’t know for certain, but I do know that the Founding Fathers of this country weren’t necessarily Christians. They were agnostic, at best and in some cases, flat out atheists. There was a reason for the separation of church and state. I know that we didn’t start adding God’s name to the pledge of allegiance until the 40s and that was a political move, to contrast ourselves against the atheistic Communists. So don’t act like government moving away from religion is the root of all of our problems. If anything, we’re doing things more like we were supposed to, to begin with.
It just bothers me that people will take this situation as an opportunity to try to convert people or the take shots at the rest of us for not drinking the Kool-Aid that they’re serving. I think it’s uncalled for and really, it stinks of childishness. You might as well be making faces at us with your thumbs in your ears, going “neener, neener, neener.” Either way, you’re being about as sensitive to the feelings of others.
You want to do something helpful? Just say a prayer for those who lost their lives and their families. Try being an example for the positive things that your religion could bring if you weren’t busy being so damn negative. Maybe if you did that, your religion wouldn’t be cast in such a negative light so much.
Go pray on that.
Friends Don't Let Friends Do Dumb Shit
Michael Vick has thrown his friends and family members under the bus over this dog-fighting stuff happening on property that he owns. Niggas everywhere are thinking (most likely, I assume, because I don’t really deal with niggas) that he sold out his people and blah blah blah, stop snitching.
I say, go on Mike. Keep snitching.
Recently, with the talk about Cam’ron being on 60 Minutes, follow up comments by one of the members of dead prez, a lifetime’s worth of police run-ins by NFL players Adam “Pacman” Jones and Chris Henry, and now this, I gotta tell you, I’m tired of the “Stop Snitching” movement. I’m tired of the “Code of the Street.” Can we go ahead and start the “Code of the Suburbs?” It usually involved calling the cops when the shit goes down.
Don’t get it twisted. I’m not saying that if you know someone involved in some mess that you should tell on him. And I’m definitely not saying that the cops are always right. Hell, the way cops are shooting black people around here, I’m not so certain if I’d call them myself. Like that Dave Chappelle joke, they might say, “He’s still here!” and beat me in my own house.
But in the case of Michael Vick, his cousin was busted on Vick’s property with a bunch of dogs that he might have been using for dogfights. Vick has to not only distance himself from this, and shady family members, but at this stage of the game, sell them out if he needs to. Why? Because those people don’t have anything to lose.
That’s what the friends of these athletes don’t understand. I know, I know, you came up together and that’s your boy and ya’ll were poor together and now that ya’ll are rich, it’s you against the world. Ride or die and all that shit. I got it. But what’s being missed is ya’ll ain’t rich. He’s rich. And that “richness” can be taken away even faster than he got it. Just look at Pacman Jones, who will lose about 1.5 million dollars by being suspended for the entire upcoming season. The final straw for him was being involved in a strip club shooting that left a man paralyzed.
So the moral here is, just because you boy has a little paper doesn’t mean that you are untouchable. And when your boy goes down, what then? Are you gonna pick up the slack? Will you be there to kick in $750,000 that you just have lying around?
Of course not, because that guy was your meal ticket and any money that you had was actually his. If you had any useful or marketable skills, you wouldn’t be mooching off of him. All you are is part of his entourage, which is a nice way of calling you an “accepted groupie,” or even his “personal bitch.” It all reminds me of Damon Wayans’ friends in “The Great White Hype.”
So while you have a vested interest in his future (because the money that you’re throwing at strippers just isn’t gonna fall out of the sky), you certainly don’t have anything to lose. And if you were a true friend at all, you wouldn’t be encouraging him to get involved in stupid stuff. And you certainly wouldn’t be staging dogfights in his house.
So to bottom line all this, Michael Vick has millions on the line here. Michael Vick has a career on the line here. Michael Vick has a reputation (sullied though it may be) on the line here. Most importantly, even though he has great lawyers, Michael Vick’s freedom could ultimately be on the line here. You, Davon Boddie, won’t lose anything, except the opportunity to have Vick’s weed man on speed dial.
You are not anyone. You use Michael Vick’s name to pick up women at the club.
To all the friends of celebrities and athletes: They still have things to accomplish. Their future is bright. Their possibilities are endless. Your life peaked that day at the outlet mall after they signed their first deal. See the difference? If you screw something up, you take the bullet. No one outside of your family will care if you go to jail, but it will be firestorm if he goes to jail. Be a true friend and help keep them away from stuff like that. You should have been trying to do that anyway, even if they were broke.
That is, if you are a true friend. Or maybe I’m just wasting my breath here, because niggas don’t read.
I say, go on Mike. Keep snitching.
Recently, with the talk about Cam’ron being on 60 Minutes, follow up comments by one of the members of dead prez, a lifetime’s worth of police run-ins by NFL players Adam “Pacman” Jones and Chris Henry, and now this, I gotta tell you, I’m tired of the “Stop Snitching” movement. I’m tired of the “Code of the Street.” Can we go ahead and start the “Code of the Suburbs?” It usually involved calling the cops when the shit goes down.
Don’t get it twisted. I’m not saying that if you know someone involved in some mess that you should tell on him. And I’m definitely not saying that the cops are always right. Hell, the way cops are shooting black people around here, I’m not so certain if I’d call them myself. Like that Dave Chappelle joke, they might say, “He’s still here!” and beat me in my own house.
But in the case of Michael Vick, his cousin was busted on Vick’s property with a bunch of dogs that he might have been using for dogfights. Vick has to not only distance himself from this, and shady family members, but at this stage of the game, sell them out if he needs to. Why? Because those people don’t have anything to lose.
That’s what the friends of these athletes don’t understand. I know, I know, you came up together and that’s your boy and ya’ll were poor together and now that ya’ll are rich, it’s you against the world. Ride or die and all that shit. I got it. But what’s being missed is ya’ll ain’t rich. He’s rich. And that “richness” can be taken away even faster than he got it. Just look at Pacman Jones, who will lose about 1.5 million dollars by being suspended for the entire upcoming season. The final straw for him was being involved in a strip club shooting that left a man paralyzed.
So the moral here is, just because you boy has a little paper doesn’t mean that you are untouchable. And when your boy goes down, what then? Are you gonna pick up the slack? Will you be there to kick in $750,000 that you just have lying around?
Of course not, because that guy was your meal ticket and any money that you had was actually his. If you had any useful or marketable skills, you wouldn’t be mooching off of him. All you are is part of his entourage, which is a nice way of calling you an “accepted groupie,” or even his “personal bitch.” It all reminds me of Damon Wayans’ friends in “The Great White Hype.”
So while you have a vested interest in his future (because the money that you’re throwing at strippers just isn’t gonna fall out of the sky), you certainly don’t have anything to lose. And if you were a true friend at all, you wouldn’t be encouraging him to get involved in stupid stuff. And you certainly wouldn’t be staging dogfights in his house.
So to bottom line all this, Michael Vick has millions on the line here. Michael Vick has a career on the line here. Michael Vick has a reputation (sullied though it may be) on the line here. Most importantly, even though he has great lawyers, Michael Vick’s freedom could ultimately be on the line here. You, Davon Boddie, won’t lose anything, except the opportunity to have Vick’s weed man on speed dial.
You are not anyone. You use Michael Vick’s name to pick up women at the club.
To all the friends of celebrities and athletes: They still have things to accomplish. Their future is bright. Their possibilities are endless. Your life peaked that day at the outlet mall after they signed their first deal. See the difference? If you screw something up, you take the bullet. No one outside of your family will care if you go to jail, but it will be firestorm if he goes to jail. Be a true friend and help keep them away from stuff like that. You should have been trying to do that anyway, even if they were broke.
That is, if you are a true friend. Or maybe I’m just wasting my breath here, because niggas don’t read.
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