Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Ad execs: Stop trying to be my friend

I don't really watch a lot of Black programming on TV, mainly because it's almost nonexistent outside of BET and watching that channel conflicts with stated goal not to set back Black people. I rarely watch TVOne because I can watch reruns on TV Land. But I do listen to the radio (102.5 Atlanta), so I get a chance to hear some of the ways that advertisers try to attract the Black consumer. It's almost as if they're relying on the descriptions of the first Europeans in Africa: "The ways of these Negroes are very savage indeed, and they be very musical people. Also, they offered to put my ship on 24s."

I can't stress enough how much I despise the series of Hillshire Farm radio ads. It's commercials like this that make me think that ad execs really believe that we'll buy anything as long as you sing it to s. And it's not that, it's some sort of discarded Southern rap beat as the background music (usually SUV commercials). Don't let me forget the ones with Black people who have proper speaking voices trying to sound lie they're "down with the homies," so as to better relate to the "urban" demographic, while still enunciating every slang-tinted word.

Person: What is happening, homeboy? I can see that thou art jealous of my new Ford Flex! Its sleek styling assures that niggas will become nauseous with jealousy at the merest sight of it!

Other person: You are correct in your assessment, homie. Your fine vehicle just shitted all over my old car. Surely, the ladies will no longer consort with the likes of me. Regrettably, I have not to finances to acquire such.

Person: Sweat it not, for the noble dealership requires naught of you but a job! Their affordable rates will assure that you shan't miss a single child support payment!

Look, I understand that people want to be sold a product from a voice and a face that they can relate to. I get that. I just don't like the voice and the face that you chose to relate to me. How hard is it to have some intelligent-sounding Black people discussing the product? You think I'll only respond to a commercial because it's got pimps and breakdancers in it, because they are the cornerstones of the "Black experience?" I don't see Latino-based ads with Mexicans discussing the refreshing taste of Coke while they're running from "la migre." Just because you don't see it on "I Love New York" doesn't mean that Black people aren't capable of comprehending regular English.

The commercials don't have to have a sassy Black woman, rappers, or be "hip" in any way. I don't need for your company to show that it understands my struggle. I don't know anyone who bought a bottle of Pine-Sol because they felt like the company was "speaking their language." You're selling me disinfectant, not marrying into my family, so we don't need to have an intimate relationship. Just have two Black people tell me about your company's promises not to put the ebola virus in the bottle (without trying to sound "Black") and get the hell off my screen. If you're selling washing powder to Black woman, then just talk about how the washing powder gets whites their whitest. It's not a requirement for someone to say, "Whoo, chile! This new Tide sho' is good! Let's go tell Big Mama!"

Trust me, we know when we're listening to another Black person, so you don't need to tell your voice actors to be "more Black" in an effort to earn our loyalties. Even Al Roker's voice can't be confused for a white man. We know the difference between our voices and yours, so the stereotypes aren't necessary. Just talk to us like grown-ups. And if you want to show that you're sensitive to the Black community, donate to some schools or build some sidewalks. Don't learn the hard way that pandering is insulting, like Hillary Clinton did.

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