Monday, March 04, 2013

Lebron James is on steroids. MAYBE.

Looks like Lebron James is on steroids.  Maybe.  Well, he's being linked to them.  It was just a matter of time, because this NBA has escaped this drama for far too long.

This "suspicion" isn't because of some great leap in physical strength in Lebron.  We all know he's looked like a 40 year old man since the tenth grade.  So, let's not act like we can pinpoint an increase in head size like everyone did Barry Bonds.  He doesn't run any faster or jump any higher, either.  If you claim that this sort of stuff is proof against Lebron, you're basically spelling out your case for why you shouldn't be acknowledged. 

Basically, Lebron was named in an interview with some ex-con who interviewed a chick who worked for a guy who's under investigation.  She said that she dealt with some guy named "Mr. Phil," who picked up drugs for a guy named "LJ."  Since no one knows if Larry Johnson has any friends at all, let alone any named Phil, she and the interviewer just assumed it was Lebron James, because his agent's last name IS Phil.

Still, this report doesn't surprise me at all.  And it's not like I'm up on the ins and outs of steroids.  Truthfully, I don't even care.  The amount of money in my paycheck isn't going to change based on whether or not Lance Armstrong was loaded with bleach and horse piss when he was riding his bike.  I am not so self-centered to believe that my not voting for Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire for the Hall of Fame somehow upholds the honor of fucking baseball.  It's just something that happened to catch my attention, because of something I heard on a podcast. 

Victor Conte was on the Joe Rogan Experience in October, and I learned more about what that crap does in those three hours than at any other time in my life.  Victor Conte talked about what Lance Armstrong was likely taking and how he was getting away with it.  We all know about the stuff that increases strength, and why baseball players and track stars would use it.  Makes perfect sense.  I never knew about the drugs that increase endurance, because like I said, I didn't care.  I am not offended by the notion that professional athletes would cheat to win, because, of course they would.  They're the most competitive people in the world.  Michael Jordan cheated at goddamn checkers.  So I never looked deeper into it.

The second Victor Conte mentioned drugs that increase endurance, drugs that change how the body processes oxygen, and all of that, the first person I thought of was Lebron James.  Because that boy can run all day.

He isn't the first player to play whole games or do multiple things on the floor or play great offense and defense.  Kobe Bryant does that.  But Kobe Bryant has always paced himself.  And Kobe Bryant has looked tired.  Lebron James never seems to get tired.  Ever.  He barely even sweats some games.  Meanwhile, it's nothing new to see him be the first man down the floor on defense, get a steal, outrun everyone on the break, then get back first on defense again to block a shot.   He's everywhere.  And he does it every night.  In every quarter of the game.  I've been watching basketball since the 80s, and I can't remember seeing anything like it. 

It could be that he's just in great shape.  It could be that he's an athletic marvel.  Those things are possible, because he's been doing things that seem impossible since high school.  For instance, at 6'8" and 260 pounds, he's one of the fastest guys in the league.  Even with a basketball in hand.  You have to go back to young Jason Kidd to see comparable speed with the basketball.  But you never see speed like that in a guy that size.  So, maybe his endurance is just another thing that makes him a freak of nature.  I'm fully prepared to accept that. 

But if it turns out to be drugs, I won't be surprised.  I'll be more surprised that Maverick and them let their meal ticket get caught.
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