Larry Bird, The Best Player of the 80s

He was the ultimate white player on the ultimate white team in the ultimate white city in a time when the white player was quickly becoming obsolete. The white player in basketball was supposed to be over and done with. This was the black man's game now.

Thing is, no one told Larry Bird.

I was a kid when Larry Bird was showing his ass all over the NBA. At that time, I was a Sixers fan, because my dad was a Sixers fan. I wasn't really watching basketball then. I didn't find out about the Celtics/Sixers rivalry until I got much older. I didn't have any Larry Bird memories. All I know is I couldn't stand Larry Bird or the Boston Celtics. As a kid, we'd talk about how the Boston Celtics were the ugliest team in basketball (and they were)...I mean, come on...they had a black man with freckles!

No one liked Bird or the Celtics outside of Boston. Everywhere I went, I never heard a positive word about Bird's Celtics. Mostly from black people. Why didn't we like him? Because for all our black dominance of the NBA, we couldn't stomach the fact the best player in the NBA was a white guy and that he took his white team to the championship on a regular basis.

See, all our heroes in the NBA at that time were flashy players. Players who represented US. Dr. J, Magic Johnson, Dominque Wilkins. There was no way anyone could beat these guys. Except Larry Bird, who dominated them all, lit up the scoreboard in their faces and won championships over ALL of them. Magic Johnson was a great point guard and the ultimate winner of the 80s.
But there was one player who could go toe-to-toe with him and it was Larry Bird. And when those two went at it, even though it was never said, it was always a racial thing. Even if you didn't like the Lakers, you wanted Magic to beat Larry. I mean, come on...the guy's white. You can't let that white boy beat you, Magic. He wasn't just white. He was white and slow. White and awkward. White and ugly. He was ugly, his game was ugly. It didn't flow. It didn't come natural like ours did. He couldn't jump. He had an ugly left handed shot. He wasn't Magic, he wasn't Doc and he wasn't Nique. He wasn't Bernard King. He wasn't Isiah Thomas. He didn't do any of the stuff that the black players did. He just won. The nerve of that guy.

Even after watching Larry Bird go shot-for-shot with Dominique in Atlanta in the playoffs, or watching Larry routinely eliminate the Sixers from the playoffs, we still couldn't admit to ourselves that the best player in the NBA was white. Had Larry's career lasted a few more years, we probably would have justified the belief that the best player in the NBA was black. Maybe. Michael Jordan was coming up just as Bird was going down. Bird was still managing to win, though...even if his back didn't work anymore. Unfortunately for us, Michael never really got the chance to beat the Celtics in the playoffs.

The most hated player and the most hated team in the league were hated because they were both white. It just wasn't right, dammit. Not the fact that they were hated over their skin color...it wasn't right because white players shouldn't be dominating a black sport.

Well, now we should be used to it. We pretty much are used to it, because people love Dirk Nowitzki. Dirk Diggler, we call him. And he comes from a place even whiter than French Lick, Indiana or Boston. Germany. And that place is as white as it gets. And coming along through the college ranks are Duke's J.J. Redick (the most hated player in college athletics) and Gonzaga's Adam Morrison (the heir apparent to Larry Bird).

J.J. Redick is probably the deadliest shooter in the nation and Adam Morrison is the best player in college basketball. They don't get nearly the amount of hostility that Larry Bird seemed to get in the 80s (well, Redick does...but his comes mostly from other white people...and UNC fans). I guess we've finally learned to admit to ourselves that white people can play this game, too.
And now we can admit to ourselves that the best player in the 80s was Larry Bird. Except in Philly. It'll probably never happen there.

If you don't believe Larry Bird was the best (in the 80s), then name me one better. Go ahead. I dare you.

Rick Majerus/Rudy Gay

In one of those classic TV moments, ESPN College Basketball analyst Rick Majerus was speaking in reference to the merits and talent of Connecticut shooting guard Rudy Gay:
"You know, I'm not a big Gay guy..."

Whether or not Majerus realized exactly what he just said, Steve Lavin started snickering right on camera. You just can't make this stuff up.

Kamala Sings...

Jesus F'n Christ. Kamala, the Ugandan Giant has put out a CD. Yeah, I'll let that sink in. And no, I'm not making that up.

I'm pretty sure a good number of you out there know who Kamala is. For anyone who has ever watched wrestling, you have probably caught a glimpse of a black man with a gut that hangs over his waistline in a skirt with a painted face and two stars painted on his man-boobs and a crescent moon on the aforementioned gut. As a means of emotional expression, he'd dance around and slap his stomach. He was last mentioned on TV in 2002, being mocked by The Rock. Well, that was the last time I cared to see him. Or see any reference of him.

Not since "Macho Man" Randy Savage put out his rap CD of songs basically devoted to calling out Hulk Hogan to at long last, "settle the score,(incidentally, I've been watching wrestling for a good 20-plus years and I've NEVER seen Savage pin Hogan...I'd say the score has long since been settled) has the wrestling industry had an embarrassment of this magnitude. Seriously. When all the steroid and cocaine related deaths and criminal trials and anytime Jake Roberts' name is mentioned on TV...when the dust has settled on all of that...THESE are the moments the general public remembers and will throw in MY face when it comes up that I like wrestling. Yes...Macho Man's voice that sounds like he swallowed a mug of broken glass and hot sauce, coming through the radio bellowing, "HOGAN!!! BE A MAN!!!!" And apparently, the humiliation isn't over because Kamala is going to SING...and it will only get worse if he actually gets airplay. As proof that I am not making this up (although I'm hoping that SOMEONE is), you can check it all out for yourself at http://www.thegiantkamala.com/.

I haven't listened to any of the samples yet, but I dunno...any CD that has his face on the cover isn't going to make me rethink playing that Brian McKnight CD when I want to set the mood. I could be wrong. Maybe he can sing. Maybe it's a very touching, moving, sensual, or sexy CD.
But I doubt it. I wouldn't put money on it going platinum. For fans of Kamala, don't look for the Kamala World Tour '06 to kick off next summer. And should I be wrong about that (and from a pure humor standpoint, I'm kinda hoping I am), don't expect a pile of panties all over the stage when you go to the shows. Then again, Teddy Pendegrass was STILL getting panties thrown at him, even after he was confined to a wheelchair. No one ever accused Jeffrey Osborne or Alexander O'Neal of being lookers, either...but they GTD*, too.

And finally, to drive my personal humiliation home (in addition to him being a black wrestler that I was ALWAYS embarrassed by)...the mailing address for your check or money order to be sent to is in Mississippi. Claude Jevemus.

At least John Cena has SOME talent. With the long list of musical wrestlers out there, (K-Kwik, Road Dogg, Chris Jericho, Honky Tonk Man), I never thought I'd see this name added to the list. Then again, Macho Man's on there. I guess all bets are off. What's going to be next?

Keep your eyes peeled for the much-anticipated Greg "The Hammer" Valentine/Ultimate Warrior collabo, coming to a National Guard Armory near you. Funky Fresh in '06 fo' you SUCKAZ....

* - Got The Draws, for the uninitiated.

Quick Hit On Our Alleged War

Could someone please tell George W. Bush that the only way that the USA can win this war is to kill everyone in the region? It's hard to win hearts and minds when people are running at you with bombs. I think it's pretty safe to say that a good number of troops in the area realize that. Sure we want to support them and I think it's safe to say that everyone does. It's the alleged leadership that we don't support. There is no "Blame America First" crowd. There's a "Blame Bush" crowd, though. There's a crowd of people out there who realize that being in Iraq has nothing to do with the supposed "War on Terror." And when are you people going to realize that you can't wage war on a concept? How do you beat an enemy that isn't in a centralized location? That's like the War on Drugs. How did that one go for you? But, like the War on Drugs, there are too many people making money off of this (or very soon will be). The War on Terror will never end. It creates an atmosphere of fear because you never know where these terrorists will strike next. But don't stop spending money, because when you do...the terrorists win. And when you create that atmosphere of fear, people will listen to any mongoloid who claims to have a plan. And here is your mongoloid. America, I introduce to you...George W. Bush.

by Thad...who said long ago that nuclear weapons should have been dropped on this region decades ago...including Israel...cuz they're not helping anything. Yeah, I said it. And take out France and Eastern Canada while you're at it.

Bow Wow vs. Will Smith

I know Will Smith probably doesn't even care, but I do.
Bow Wow was recently interviewed by XXL and he made the following comments (emphasis mine):

”But to me, honestly Will wasn’t like a real rapper.”

”He was more like a gimmick. Then he zapped in to get a TV show, and it was on and poppin’. Then after that he was in Hollywood. So things came easy for him. With me, I’m a rapper. I ain’t with the whole colorful cornball type things. That’s just not my style.”

”Will [Smith] can act, but he does more of those blockbuster Hollywood movies, which I wanna do. But also I wanna do it like Denzel-movies that really mean something. I feel like I can definitely be better than him.”

Someone out there might read this and wonder what I'm so upset about. It's true, they might say. Will Smith did a lot of corny shit in his rap career, they might say. And he did. It's true. It's not like "Parents Just Don't Understand" or "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson" are serious hip-hop fodder. No one's riding to "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" or "Boom! Shake The Room."

My thing is, who the hell is Bow Wow to say anything about Will Smith? This boy was literally shitting his diapers when Will Smith came out. Back in 1987, it was a different hip-hop world. When Will Smith came out (as the Fresh Prince), rappers weren't afraid to smile and dance and have fun. Rappers weren't so image conscious and everyone wasn't a fake gangster. Everyone was colorful back then...or am I the only one who remembers Cross Colours? It was okay to be silly back then. That's why you had acts like Kid N Play or Biz Markie or Kwame or DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Every one of them is considered corny now, but back then...it was just different.

To say that Will Smith wasn't a real rapper is a slap in the face. Wasn't he the first rapper to receive a Grammy? Didn't he pave the road that so many rappers commonly drive their Bentleys down today? How many other rappers have had such a successful television show? How many other rappers have had such a successful movie career? Let's recap...first rapper to win a Grammy (and I don't think they even had a hip-hop category back then), first rapper to have a successful television show (if I remember correctly), executive producer credit on said show, first rapper to have a successful movie career (because the Fat Boys aren't still getting royalty checks for "Disorderlies.") It can be argued that Kid N Play did it first, but the minute Kid N Play tried to play characters not named Kid N Play, their film career was over (see "Class Act").

Will Smith also gets paid $20 million dollars a picture and has had very few busts at the box office. And really, it was just Wild, Wild, West. Will Smith has continued to reinvent himself time and time again, to keep up with modern day trends, and i know this because more than a few people liked that song "Miami" he did and yes, some of them were black. "Switch" and "Will 2K" were hits and even "Wild, Wild, West" got heavy rotation when it was out (and personally, I like that song). He's one of the few rappers from the late 80s who is still relevant now. It's Will Smith and LL Cool J. And LL's career finally ended right after "Luv U Better" stopped getting airplay (and even LL used to make silly songs back then...or am I the only one who remembers "Milky Cereal" and "Big Ol' Butt?")

And I don't care what anyone says, the ultimate summer anthem is STILL "Summertime."
And for those who get on Will Smith for his subject matter, let me say this...Will Smith is one of a small group of rappers who can rap about having money, because he really has money. Not made up money. Not money that still has to be paid back to the record company. And he doesn't feel the need to wear "bling," because like REAL rich people, he doesn't have to.

And he's married to Jada Pinkett. I'm jealous beyond words. But I digress.

Now, let's get to this...Bow Wow. First things first, he got in with his name beiing a spinoff of another rapper's name. Way to be your own man, kid. Bow Wow's not even real words. That's onomatopoeia. And does he have a hit that Da Brat didn't write? His best selling album was his first, it went double platinum and Da Brat wrote every word of it. The follow up went platinum and Da Brat wrote that one, too. The title of his movie debut, "Like Mike" is an excellent metaphor for his music career, "Like Snoop Dogg and Da Brat."

You can't call yourself a rapper if you don't write your own lyrics. Puffy knows this, that's why he doesn't call himself a rapper. And for a kid who calls himself "Bow Wow" to call another person corny...that's takes gall. The unmitigated kind.

I can't believe the nerve of this guy who's never put out an album without a ghostwriter, who's never had a song that was played the next year, let alone a certifiable classic. He talks about Will Smith, yet Will Smith put him on the Wild, Wild, West soundtrack. Yeah, Bow Wow sounds really grateful. Will Smith was the first rapper to successfully do a lot of the things these rap cats are trying to do now. Everyone out there is trying to follow in Will Smith's footsteps, from DMX to Bow Wow and most of them can't get a good show, let alone a good movie. I'm not gonna lie and say that he's a great rapper, but he's certainly a pioneer in hip-hop and deserves to be respected. Especially by someone who'll be forgotten by the time he can grow a full beard.

My take on...

Every so often, I have some partial thoughts about different things going on in the world. Here's what I think about certain people in the sports world. My take on....

...Michelle Wie.

I don't remember her ever proving she could beat her fellow 14-year olds, let alone a grown man. Let me know if she ever starts dominating her peers. She better do it quick before she ruins her confidence and her career. That can only lead to the cover of Hustler, where she'll get paid just enough to keep her heroin addiction going for three more months.

...Sean Salisbury:

The man was a quarterback for what, two and a half weeks back in 1994? He's full of good advice that he himself could have used back during his playing day. Maybe if he had taken some of it, he would have been, y'know...relavant. Gus Frerotte was one his peers and I remember him. Why couldn't I remember Sean Salisbury?

...Kobe Bryant:

There's absolutely nothing wrong with playing EXACTLY like Michael Jordan, except in Queens, where they call that "holding his dick in public."

...Magic Johnson:

Magic Johnson doesn't have HIV, unless HIV's secret side-effect is to make you gain weight. You know who really has HIV? Larry Bird. The man started deteriorating as soon as Magic made his annoucement.

...Michael Wilbon (from PTI):

He wants to hard to be recognized for being edgy and mean and so tough on these sports guys. He wishes he could be viewed as the angry black man, but we all know that's not the case. His righteous indignation from atop his moral high horse is so cute, though. He's probably married to a white woman.

...Tony Kornheiser (from PTI):

I love this man. He deserves an entertaining co-host. I was hoping Stephen A. Smith would have gotten it, but he's decided that a studio audience was the way to go.

...Stephen A. Smith:

I believe he passionately HATES Kevin Frazier (the old host of the NBA stuff on ESPN), which is why he's the OLD host of the NBA stuff on ESPN.

...Tom Jackson (ESPN football analyst):

Few things in life are funnier than the look on this man's face when Michael Irvin or Steve Young dare to challenge the all knowing wisdom of Tom Jackson. Whenever he gets upset at them, you can almost see him wistfully look back to the days when it was just he and Chris Berman...alone. It's almost like when the slaves would start identifying with the slavemaster. I expect his name to become Tom Berman by this time next year.

...Shannon Sharpe:

He was an great tight end (the gayest thing I've said since last Wednesday), but when was the last time YOU were able to get a job because your brother was good-looking and well spoken?

...Phil Jackson:

I want to fuck his wife. I settled for paying him money for his book.

...Terrell Owens:

If I had paid full price for my jersey I'd be really pissed at him for making it so I can't wear it again for a while.

...Emmitt Smith:

I could have gotten 2000 yards a season with that offensive line. Note that as soon as they were gone, you didn't hear a word out of Emmitt Smith. Hell, Warrick Dunn is good for at least a G and he's got a terrible offensive line. If Barry Sanders had Emmitt Smith's line, he would have rushed for 4000 yards a season.

...Barry Sanders:

The greatest running back I've ever seen. Broke more ankles than Kathy Bates and half the time, he was the only one on the field with a Lions jersey on. Certainly, no one was blocking for him. If I were him, I'd hate Emmitt Smith. In fact, I do hate Emmitt Smith.

...Vince Carter:

Tim Legler declared this man's career was over. I've never met VC, but I knew he still had it just from the four games I saw him in over the last three years before the trade. You'd think Tim Legler would understand how Vince was feeling, seeing as how he NEVER played on a winning team.

...Penny Hardaway:

I believe the man could still give you 15 and 9. But he'll never get the chance because Stephon Marbury clutches the ball so tightly to his bosom you'd think his crack stash was in there.

...Frank Thomas:

The minute he stopped being productive, the White Sox got good. That has got to sting a little.

...Tom Brady:

Much like Mr. Smith, with a line like that, even Sean Salisbury could give you 300 yards and 4 touchdowns a game. This is probably the most overrated quarterback in history. He's a good quarterback, but you're seeing now that he doesn't will his team to victory. I've seen Brett Favre get a sub-par team into the playoffs (last year's Packers). Brady doesn't seem too up to the job. He's the beneficiary of a well timed injury and the most balanced football team EVER. And also the Bush Administration's rigging of the 2002 Super Bowl.

...Drew Bledsoe:

Inventor of the Tom Brady Voodoo Doll and probably has tried to cut Tom Brady's brake lines more than once. Those years he was exiled to Buffalo were brutal. I forgot he was still playing.

...College Football:

The most worthless sport ever in human history. I'm still upset that Nebraska and Penn State never got to play in 1994. Turned me completely off to college football.

...College Basketball:

Now THAT'S how you decide a champion! Unfortunately for me, it won't be North Carolina this year. Two times this year, I'm going to be on the brink of tears. Both times, Duke will be on the floor against UNC.

...Scott Norwood:

Jay Feely's performance on Sunday made Scott Norwood smile just a little.

...Craig Kilborn and Keith Olbermann:

It's time for the prodigal sons to return. They need to save Dan Patrick. That man is so bitter and cynical these days that I think it's time for an intervention.

...The Philadelphia Eagles:

I knew letting Duce Staley leave would bite them on the ass.

...Steve Mariucci:

Probably got fired for trying to end the "Joey Harrington Experiment." I swear, Harrington must have embarrassing pictures of Matt Millen in his house. Matt Millen must have embarrassing pictures of the Lions' owner in his. Doesn't Matt Millen look like the dad from Varsity Blues?

...USC:

Due to the farcical nature of College Football, USC is as credible a champion as Triple H.

Blind Patriotism

I know these are all old issues, but it was on my mind last night. Screw you. This is MY blog.

Last time I checked, blind patriotism is for idiots. Things like that lead to police states and unquestioned lords and masters of the world. Is that what you want?

It was a scary time when people accused others of not being patriotic when they dared question His Holiness George Dubya, the Second. Am I the only person who heard about the phenomenon that was McCarthyism?

For those who would tell me that I should love it or leave it (in reference to the USA...usually white people do this), if I didn't love it, I wouldn't care what others do to it. I criticize it because I love it. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else in the world, but the state that this country (and the world) is in right now scares me. People who think that you shouldn't be criticizing the country or whatever else clearly can't take criticism well. Either that, or they're doing something they have no business doing.

Look at it like this, if your friends or your family was doing something wrong, you'd tell them they were wrong, right? You know, to look out for them; to keep them out of trouble. Or as the brothers used to say, "off the illa path." Nah, I'm the stupid one. Turns out you were really just anti-family and friends, because you dared have the temerity to have an alternate viewpoint.
For those who believe that I should fight for my country's freedom...you're absolutely right. I should. And when we went into Afghanistan, I was 100% in support of it. You figure, if Osama's the one who really did it, and you know he's in Afghanistan, it doesn't make too much sense to look for him in, say....Cambodia. You should probably go to Afghanistan. If they had drafted me to go there, I would have been upset, but I would have understood.

But...don't tell me that I should go to Iraq and fight. Much like Vietnam, it's a skirmish that people can't even find a competent defense for anymore. Everyone wants to get out of there now. Personally, I believe Bush should have been impeached for it and Cheney thrown in jail, because I know that if I had done something like that, I would have been impeached at the least and most certainly would have been thrown in jail.

You people wanted Clinton's head for getting some head, but you let this clown slide on getting us involved in a war against a country that was no threat to its neighbors, let alone a country about 6000 miles away and about 50 times greater in size.

Eddie Guerrero died last week of heart troubles, but Dick Cheney is still alive and kicking. God bless the Devil that Cheney sold his soul to.

Civil Liberties

On ESPN today, there's a report about fans at NFL games complaining and suing because they don't want get patted down before they enter the stadium. To these people I say, shut the fuck up.

For the last three and some change years, people have been complaining about airport security (it's been really bad here in Atlanta). To these people I also say, shut the fuck up.

This is what you wanted, America. Don't get mad about it now. You put those jokers in Congress and you put that retard back in office. You supported that administration when he started pushing the Patriot Act. It was okay for authorities do whatever they wanted to root out those evil Arab bastards. It wasn't until they started searching YOU that YOU started complaining. I don't wanna hear it. Just shut up.

Why, they're just doing what they have to do to keep the peace. Remember that when they're tapping your phone or kicking your door in.

Stephon Marbury

Stephon Marbury is the best point guard in the NBA.

Bitch, please.

Stephon Marbury isn't the best point guard in the state of New York. Isiah Thomas could step on the court TONIGHT and be a better point guard. Larry Brown, replaced hips and all, could show Marbury a thing or two about being a point guard. Penny Hardaway can still manage a team better than Marbury. I'd pick whoever's starting at St. John's this year over Marbury. I'll even go so far as to say that if they took the train over to Brooklyn, they could find a better point guard in the middle of some streetball game.

He isn't the best point guard even amongst shooting guards and small forwards. Who does this guy think he is? And why does this man have fans? Now let's be fair: I don't know anything about this guy outside of what he does on the court. He might be a nice guy. When it comes to his game, though...this guy is overrated.

If he's so good, why have I never seen this man on a winning team? He's not like Mitch Richmond. Mitch was a great shooting guard who never had a serviceable team built around him, let alone a winning team. Marbury, on the other hand? He didn't make GA Tech any better when he was there. When he got to Minnesota, he was practically giftwrapped a future championship when he teamed with Kevin Garnett. He was traded to New Jersey where he would eventually team with Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin, yet the team languished in the East's cellar...until Marbury was traded. Then, that same team went to the NBA Finals with new point guard Jason Kidd. His new team, the Phoenix Suns, had Shawn Marion and Penny Hardaway and would draft Amare Stoudamire. This team would languish in the West's cellar and struggle to make the playoffs before Hardaway and Marbury were traded to the Knicks. That Suns team wouldn't do anything at all until the next year...when new point guard Steve Nash signed there. Then that exact same team would win 62 games and go to the Western Conference Finals.

Does that sound like a winner to you? Sure, he's talented, but he's never made anyone else better. In fact, I have a personal belief that his ball-hogging has ruined the latter part of the career of Penny Hardaway. His style of play has never benefitted anyone other than himself, and he's the point guard! It's his JOB to make others better! Some people might say, "but he's a scorer!" or "he's never had good players around him; he doesn't have anyone to pass to!"
That's a load of crap. I present exhibit A: Allen Iverson. Drafted the same year and at two inches shorter, this man dominated the league in scoring and carried a team of no-names to the NBA Finals in 2001. He was/is also a shoot first point guard who didn't make anyone better, but he was always a dominant scorer. So he was moved to shooting guard and somehow began to make guys like Aaron McKie and Eric Snow better from that position, by drawing defenses and finding the open man. Last year, he was moved back to point guard and had his best season, as he had good players around him and while they struggled, they got better as the season went on. This year, he's putting up insane points and assists numbers in this early season, and helping Chris Webber resurrect his career (he's looked better here than he has in about two or three years) and helping Al2 (Andre Igoudala) blossom into a star in his own right.

Allen Iverson had NO good players around him, and willed his team to the Finals. Why can't Marbury do that? You know why? Because he's not as good as advertised. He's not a dominant scorer (he's a good scorer, though) and he doesn't always find the open man. He doesn't draw defenses because you know that he's not that great of a shooter so you can play off of him and when he drives to the basket, he's going to force something stupid, rather than find the open man (like a real point guard). He's the ultimate me-first player in the NBA and represents almost everything that I find wrong with today's game. Yes, he's got deadly handle with the ball, but what NY point guard doesn't? Yeah, he's quick, but so is Nate Robinson. There's nothing exceptional about his game, especially now, since he doesn't dunk anymore.

So if you have a guy who doesn't make his teammates better, doesn't put up an overwhelming amount of points, doesn't will his team to victory, doesn't pass, doesn't even do anything spectacular to give the fans a reason to watch...what's the point in even playing him? And why has no one ever called him out on claiming to be the best PG in the NBA? Especially when Jason Kidd and Steve Nash still draw breath. Two men who took his old teams (in their entirety) deep into the playoffs. And he has the nerve to suggest that HE'S the best? The best at what? Has he ever played on a winning team?

Surprisingly, yes. Once in 2003-04. Phoenix won 53 games. And Minnesota was 25-25 in the lockout season. He only played 18 of those games before he was shipped to New Jersey, though. Terrell Brandon would take over at PG the next season and they'd start their streak of consecutive playoff appearances. I completely forgot about that one.

Is it all worth it, New York? Personally, I would have kept Charlie Ward.

Celebrity Deaths

Eddie Guerrero died on Sunday and I got pretty upset about it. I wasn't openly sobbing or anything, although I did shed a tear or two. I was depressed at work and Tuesday morning, when I came home, I couldn't bring myself to watch the Raw episode dedicated to him. It's 1:30 am, Wednesday morning and I still haven't watched it. I'm not ready.

Why is that? I've never met Eddie Guerrero. I've seen him in person once, but that was from about 50 yards away and he was busy kicking the crap out of Chris Jericho. I've never spoken with him, but I have seen him cut a lot of wrestling promos over the years. He's never heard any of my opinions, though.

Yesterday, I was thinking about it all. Why do we feel such a closeness with celebrities? We don't really know these guys behind closed doors, although in a lot of cases, after they're gone their friends say all kinds of kind words about them. In Eddie's case (hell, I even refer to him by his first name, like he's my boy), no one has yet to say a bad word about him. Not even the Honky Tonk Man, and that guy has dirt on everyone and isn't afraid to let the world know about it.
We can't really hang out with them, because celebrities tend to be busy people. Even if you bump into them at a club or bar or something, chances are you won't get to have an involved conversation with them. They've got beer to drink, people to flirt with, lawsuits to fight...basically, they've got shit to do and if even if they weren't busy, they just don't know you. These are people who tend to be private with their personal lives and with good reason. The National Enquirer's mission is NOT to show the world that Brad Pitt's heart is filled with cuddly puppies and butterflies.

It just baffled me that I was so upset over the death of a person I'd never even had a conversation with. Logically, this just doesn't make sense to me. I mean, I know who he was and what he did and things like that, but...he wasn't a family member. He wasn't a friend. If I walked past him on the street, he wouldn't know who I was from you. I remember when Kurt Cobain died and my peers (well, white folks my age) were killing themselves because he was dead. It just didn't make sense to me why they'd do that. He wouldn't do it for them. All he was was a person who made music and spoke in a voice that those kids could understand and relate to when no one else could or would. Well, maybe that's it. Maybe he made them feel like they weren't alone in the world and when he was gone, suddenly they were alone again. With his death, they didn't have that person who understood what they felt inside or what they were going through. Not that Eddie and I have the same experiences or he knows what I'm going through, but to me, as a wrestling fan, he gave me inspiration and excitement and humor and drama and his heart and his soul.

Professional artists or athletes give you parts of their inner being when they create or perform. I read someone saying that when it's done right, wrestling is an artform. Eddie Guerrero was one of the best artists the world has ever known. Watching him in the ring drew emotions out of me. When he's do something underhanded and get away with it, he'd give this mischevious grin and it made me give the same grin, like we shared an inside joke that no one else knew about. When he "quit" WCW on Nitro, I felt some of his anger when he cut his promo, because we both knew he was capable of more than he was allowed to do. Even when he was bad, he was hard to hate and when he was good, we loved him even more. Through his actions in the ring, we caught some of his true personality and we felt a connection to him. The more we saw him, the closer to him we felt. Now that he's gone, our lives feel that much more empty.

And since we won't get to see him perform anymore, that's why we feel that we've lost a friend. I guess.

Eddie Guerrero

Eddie Guerrero died today.

I really don't know what to say about all of it. One of my favorite wrestlers has died today. Obviously, I was shocked and shaken by it. He was only 38.

I was really hoping that it was a misprint or something. This had happened before. I remember when the internet had proclaimed that Viscera had died a few years ago. Clearly, that wasn't the case as he's on TV right now. Sure, WWE.com was reporting this, but they've unintentionally posted things before, too.

I was also hoping that it wasn't due to a drug overdose or something like that. Eddie has had problems with that sort of thing before. He got fired from the WWF, went to rehab, cleaned himself up and came back. He won the WWE title. He had been sober for about four years now. As a wrestling fan, we've had to deal with this sort of thing a few times, most notably, Brian Pillman, who also died in a hotel room in Minneapolis, hours before a big show. The thing with Eddie is that he's a favorite with many. He's one of the best in the world. And he cleaned himself up, changed his life, came back to wrestling and rose to greater heights than ever. Casual fans had begun to recognize what the hardcore fans had known all along. Eddie Guerrero is one of the best wrestlers they'd ever seen. I remember when Eddie came to the WWF in 2000, with Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn. I said then that Benoit would win the title and Eddie would be the guy who deserved to have it, but wouldn't get it. Out of that group of four great wrestlers, I felt he would be best of the four. I feel that he has been, to this day.

As far as the drugs go, I guess I just don't want the cause of death to be a drug overdose. I can deal with something natural. I can digest that. But I don't want one of my favorites to have died a junkie. And to think that he might have done that after all he'd been through angers me. Writing this, it's starting to dawn on me that it's been bothering me all day. I teared up as I typed those words, "died a junkie." Over the last few years, I've grown to hate junkies in wrestling. Another of my favorites died a few years ago of a drug overdose, Curt Hennig. When that happened, it barely fazed me. He knew the risks when he put that shit in his body and he suffered his fate. I miss him, but...that was his choice. I don't want to be mad and cold and uncaring with Eddie like I was with Curt. And I guess that's what hurts, that I might have to be.
After learning of his death, I decided to watch my tape of Smackdown. I work nights, so I have to tape wrestling, but I hadn't watched Smackdown regularly in a year or so. But out of the blue, I decided to tape it this past Friday, just to see what was going on. I planned to tape over it on Monday. Now that tape has a new meaning, because it contains Eddie's last televised match. And it wasn't a great match. He seemed to be a little disinterested in what was going on. It was Smackdown, though. He was wrestling Ken Kennedy. I didn't expect it to be Guerrero/Mysterio all over again. It has a funny ending, though, where he banged a chair against the mat when the ref wasn't looking, but he could hear it. Just before the ref turned around, he tossed the chair to Kennedy and dropped to the mat, feigning unconsciousness. The ref saw the scene and disqualified Kennedy. Eddie Guerrero won his last match.

I don't even know where i'm going with all of this. I guess I don't really need to have a point. One of my favorites has just died. It turns out that a lot of fans are hoping that he didn't die of an overdose, just like me. Some are saying that wrestling doesn't need another drug related wrestling death. I'm not worried about that. Wrestling is going to be okay either way. I just don't want people dragging Eddie through the mud, because that's what's coming if it was drugs involved and because he's so young, that's very likely. I'm still going to miss seeing Eddie Guerrero either way. His talents in the ring, his humor, his charisma. One of my all-time favorites, since 1997.

I've been with you since you and DDP were feuding over the Battlebowl ring. The match with Rey Misterio, Jr. at Halloween Havoc is one of the best I've ever seen. I bought Rey's DVD just to have that match. I always thought the LWO was one of the lowest points of your career. So was that car accident you were in. I just wanted you to be okay, and although it was selfish of me, I wanted to see you wrestle again. I was just glad you weren't dead. When the Revolution came around, to me it was just another point where you were underutilized. You made a grown man jump around like a schoolgirl in his dorm room when you delivered the frogsplash to Road Dogg on Raw for the first time. Then, when you injured your elbow on Smackdown...man, that sucked. I was pissed at you when got fired from the WWF, but I was in the house when you came back and attacked Jericho on Raw and I think I was one of maybe five people who recognized you through your dyed hair. I wanted you to beat the crap out of that guy who came in the ring during the ladder match. I was really glad to see you let the mullet go. I didn't even bother watching No Way Out because I didn't think the "E" would really let you go over Brock Lesnar. And I'll always remember seeing both you and Benoit in the ring with the championship belts, because it was a day that i never thought I'd see. And that brings me to today, because it was a day that i never expected to see. Goodbye, Eddie.

My Run-In With A Prophet

What do you do when you're confronted by a man who claims to be a prophet?

It's a relatively new experience for me. I'd never met anyone who claimed to be a prophet. Not anyone that was serious, anyway. Is it possible he could have been one? Who am I to tell him he wasn't? That's a pretty bold statement and one I wasn't ready to challenge.

He said some pretty deep stuff while he was in there, mostly talking about how hating someone causes you to relive that person's history. Then, he talked about how your child comes out to be the same sex as the person you hate. Then, he brought up how the anger that's directed at the person that's being hated is actually directed at others. Basically, when someone says something negative about you, those words are actually directed at the person that they hate, which apparently, is what "forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do" means. They don't realize what they've done so if someone has done you wrong, basically you should forgive them because it's probably not directed at you.

That struck me because I've been done wrong by someone for no apparent reason. I decided not to deal with that person anymore. Should I go back and talk to that person? Should I forgive him for his transgressions against me? Does he really hate someone else and I was just caught in the crossfire?

Well, I haven't gone to talk to him yet, and I'm not fully convinced that the man was a prophet. I could be wrong, though. The guy was about 6 feet tall and about 300 pounds of stomach. He was bald on top, had a kinda crazy look in his eyes and was slobbering a little bit when he talked. He had bad breath. When he left, I caught a glimpse of his plumber's crack. Not exactly the image of a prophet, I'd say. Then again, the prophet story has popped up periodically throughout time, where the wise man or prophet was disguised as a fool or bum or something along those lines. Not calling that man a fool or bum, he just looked...unlikely. But maybe it's not his outward shell that should be getting the attention, but his words. They certainly seemed to apply to my life. Maybe I really was talking to someone who had a direct line with God. Maybe I should start going to church and reading the Bible. Maybe there was more to this Christianity thing than I initially realized.

Or maybe the guy was just a drunken fool with a glazed over look in his eyes and I should have called the cops because this guy was behind the wheel of an 18-wheeler. I let this guy continue to run free on America's highways.

I guess I'll find out another day and hopefully I won't be watching the news when I do. To any cops out there: It's gonna take about four of you to bring that guy down. And some horse tranquilizers.

The Hell Is Wrong With You People?

Air Force football coach Fisher Deberry got in trouble the other day for making some comments about black players. Let's listen:

From Yahoo! Sports:

On Tuesday, in discussing last weekend's 48-10 loss to TCU, DeBerry said it was clear TCU ``had a lot more Afro-American players than we did and they ran a lot faster than we did.''

``It just seems to me to be that way,'' he said. ``Afro-American kids can run very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me that they run extremely well.''

He got in trouble for that. He was actually reprimanded for that.

White people, what the hell is wrong with you?

I say "white people" because you are in the majority in this country, from a media standpoint, political standpoint, and just simply having more warm bodies around than anyone else. Well, LEGALLY having warm bodies around. So since you outnumber everyone else, things are told from your perspective. So I need for you to tell me why this has put you into such a tizzy.
Black people are not upset about what DeBerry said. There's nothing to be upset about. It's all true, generally speaking. There's no secret about it. The black athlete is faster than the white athlete. From a physical standpoint, the black man is the ultimate, mainly because he was bred to be that way. I'm not telling you anything that Jimmy the Greek didn't already say.

It's funny because it sounds like whenever something racial is said, it's almost like white people want to get mad about it first, that way they can show black people that they're right there with them when black people get mad about it. Or maybe white people truly believe all that stuff about racial equality and intolerance being wrong. I guess my thing is, we're not mad about it so why are you? Listen, Fisher DeBerry didn't say anything wrong...at least, not this time. He didn't say anything that offended anyone (at least not anyone who isn't suffering from a major head injury) and he didn't say anything that white people haven't said privately amongst themselves. We know you say it and it's okay. We've been saying it for decades. That line of talk was really popular in the 70s and 80s, when white people would step out on the basketball court with black people. Then we'd say it in front of you.

But it's not to say that the white man can't perform like the black man. Jason Sehorn played cornerback in the NFL and regularly defended black receivers and did it well. Bob Sura used to dunk on cats in the NBA on the regular. You can turn on the TV and always see a good white wide out and, dammit, Brent Barry won the slam dunk contest. The last dominion of black dominance was taken by a white dunker. Hell, one of the best three players in NBA history (arguably) was white, that being Larry Bird.

Now, when black people would talk about white players, no one ever got upset, but when white people are talking about black players, people start pulling their hair out. Maybe you guys are afraid that black people will start filing lawsuits. Let me tell you, we're not as litigious as our white counterparts. For instance, if the roles were reversed, I guarantee you that Rush Limbaugh would have sued Donovan McNabb a few years back for slander...or something.

Remember that? The Rush Limbaugh/Donovan McNabb controversy? Now what the hell was that about? Limbaugh lost his job over this one and I still don't know what the big deal was. Now, let's make no bones about it: I don't like Rush Limbaugh. But what did he say that was wrong? If you look back, at that time McNabb wasn't playing that well, but he was being held up on a pedestal by the predominantly white media. That Eagles team was held up by it's defense (kinda like right now). And Limbaugh correctly suggested that the NFL would like to have a successful black quarterback (which is true...and they have...and McNabb along with Michael Vick and Daunte Culpepper are ALWAYS put in front of you) and that McNabb was getting credit for things he didn't do because of that (which he was, as that was a defensive-led team). Limbaugh lost his job for that just because he was a white man saying the words "black quarterback." Well, fuck me, white America. I didn't know that the word "black" had become so taboo.

You people (or your media...I guess I shouldn't say all of you) have lost your damn minds. Political correctness has long since been taken too far, this is just another example of it. Don't try to get mad for us, please. It's insulting because we know it's not genuine and it all comes off as damage control. Let's apologize before the lawsuits can come in. Let me know when Rush Limbaugh or Fisher DeBerry says "that nigger boy" on live TV. I actually kind of want them to. Now that would be politically incorrect. No, actually, that's downright offensive.

See, the thing with political incorrectness is that ever since this term was coined, people have gotten overly sensitive about things that aren't a big deal. Apparently, telling the truth is politically incorrect. Look, white people can't dance, black people have big dicks, and a lot of Mexicans sneak into the country. Okay? It's not like I made up something. If I said that white people are an evil people and the minorities of the world should rise up against them and kill them, now that would be bad. Everyone knows that white people aren't evil, just their governments. Or if I started referring to Mexicans as "beaners," that would be wrong. I'm not Carlos Mencia. That rule says that only members of said race can openly demean themselves. That's why only black people can say the word "nigger."

So hopefully, you've all learned something from this. Pre-emptive anger and moral outrage comes off as fake, forced, and really, it's just irritating to see someone go down for something that someone else defines as being wrong that really isn't.

What's messed up is, where was this moral outrage when the Mexican president was talking about black people? What, he can't be sued, so there's nothing to say? Where was white America's white media then? Although what he said was also true, he was implying (probably accidentally) that black people were at the bottom of the work force in America. And what about the mess about that damn stamp line they had down there? I guess actual racial issues don't make for entertaining soundbites and new headlines.

Untitled

It's funny how people change.

Or maybe it's me. Maybe I've changed.

Maybe something's wrong with me. Maybe I just don't get it.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive or maybe I'm being to rigid. Too uptight.

It's all fun and games. It's all just jokes.

Maybe that's just it. Maybe it is fun and games to you, but I don't think that joke is funny anymore.

Maybe now I hold myself to a higher standard and I don't like to see the depths you've lowered yourself to.

Maybe you've let me down once too often.

Maybe I don't feel I can depend on you as a friend. Maybe I know you won't understand.

Maybe I never felt that you were truly sorry for the ways you've wronged me.

Maybe I feel bad for you because things aren't going that well.

Maybe I feel worse for myself because you stabbed me in the back.

So maybe this time, you're all on your own.

Maybe one day we can clear the air and go back to being friends.

Maybe if we talk a little more like we used to, we'll begin to understand where the other's coming from.

Maybe you'll see that I don't think that stealing people's girlfriends is okay.

Maybe you'll stop having kids.

Maybe you'll understand how seriously I take concepts like vindictiveness.

Maybe you'll learn to just let some things go.

Maybe you'll learn to listen.

Or maybe you're right and I'm wrong.

Maybe I've become too serious.

Maybe I take too much abuse from other people without retaliation.

Maybe I'm too anal about my stuff.

Maybe you just need a good dose of the truth about yourself. Maybe I won't tell you because i know you're not ready to hear it.

Maybe I need it right back. In fact, there's no maybe about it.

Maybe there's a friendship still there worth salvaging.

Maybe I'll take that first step to find out. Maybe you will.

Then again, maybe not.