"Jesus is the Answer." I read that on the back of someone's car on the way home today. Well, you'll excuse me for not taking important spiritual advice from a bumper sticker.
And since we're on the subject, that's a pretty open-ended statement, because I'm not really clear on what the question is. That's all well and good if the question was "What if my house burns down, my wife leaves me for my best friend, and none of my 9 kids are mine?" Then, there's only two possible answers: "Jesus," or "Beer." But what if the question is "What's two plus two?" Answering "Jesus" will probably make Jesus happy, but my teacher at Clown College isn't likely to be impressed. That is the just the kind of idiot answer that'll get you kicked out of your special ed classes, kids. At that point, they'll figure you're just a lost cause and you'll spend the rest of your life being that person who gets paid to eat things in the back of the bar. And it's just a matter of time before "rat poison" is one of the things you're getting paid to eat, stupid. Then, you'll get to see up close just how pleased Jesus was with that answer. I'm betting you'll just be the odds-on favorite to get laughed at by Jesus that day.
Therefore, the lesson here is, don't listen to bumper stickers unless they have directions to a bar or a strip club. I don't want my bumper stickers telling me who the president is, because I've already got plenty of newspapers and TV channels that I already avoid for trying to share that information with me. And I don't want my bumper stickers trying to convert me. It's hard enough slamming the door in the faces of Jehovah's Witnesses on Saturday mornings and now, I have to ignore it on the freeway, as well.
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