I must have missed the memo that said, "As a condition of us paying you $25 million, you are not allowed to lie to anyone, ever." Sportswriters' reaction to Alex Rodriguez lying to them when he was trying to be honest was priceless. It's almost as if sportswriters have to swear not to use any of their intelligence before they start covering athletes. I find it hard to believe that they graduated from college without tugging off at least two of their professors.
"I, Jay Mariotti, do solemnly swear to pretend as if I've never encountered a human being in my life, as it relates to discussing or writing about athletes."
I didn't know that Alex Rodriguez was going to lie, mainly because I don't know Alex Rodriguez. Also, he was volunteering information, so I took at all at face value. But since he did lie, it's not like it changes how I look at him. I'm not surprised at all that he tried to lie his way out, because I know that he was born right here on Earth, where I've watched people lie for way less than that. I had a friend lie to me about whether or not he saw "Transformers: The Movie" in theaters as a child, so A-Rod lying to protect his job in Major League Baseball doesn't even make me blink. He's got a lot to lose, so what did they expect him to do?
Sportswriters are acting as if he's wrong for not telling the world about this back when it looked like he wasn't going to get caught. I know all of two people who told the truth when they didn't have to and all it ever did was cause more trouble than it was worth. So, people should always be expected to lie in these situations. Tell the truth for what? No one was going to find out anytime soon and all that telling on yourself is going to get you is reporters digging through your garbage. Yeah, I'm really seeing the benefit.
Not only that, who are the sportswriters of America to demand that athletes be honest with them or even the average fan? They get paid to play with balls, not be Jesus. And this being America, there was has never been a benefit to men who play with balls "coming out" about what they do behind closed doors.
Whenever I meet a girl that I could get serious with, I always tell her about how I'd prefer for women to just tell me that she wants to sleep with someone else so we can go about the business of her getting the fuck out instead of cheating on me. It never happens, though, because they think they can get away with it. It doesn't stop anyone from cheating and it doesn't stop anyone from lying. And I'm trying to create an open environment, with no repercussions. I'm not going to flip out and hit anyone. I just want the truth. Now, if I can't get the truth, what makes sportswriters, with their follow-up questions, digging, and judgmental nature, are going to get an open admission?
No, they're going to make you catch them, because they stand to lose a whole lot more than a warm body to snuggle with at night. If LeBron James was secretly gay, he'd kill everyone in Cleveland to keep that quiet, because he knows that the dream is over if the word ever got out. Do you really expect him to risk that happening just so Michael Wilbon will keep thinking he's honest? LeBron won't care if you think he invites Satan over to play XBox on Sundays, so long if you keep thinking he's straight.
If you believe that he'll risk a bomb like that getting out, you're probably one of the ones who's going to buy his inevitable rap CD. That's why he has PR people: To explain that he wasn't really sucking that guy off, but actually picking up his kielbasa off the floor. With his mouth. Because his hands were full of rescued puppies that couldn't be seen in the picture. Bad cropping. Plus, it was all Photoshopped.
So let's not act like A-Rod's lies make him an extraordinarily terrible human being. He's not a mass murderer or the Anti-Christ; he's just a guy who lied about something to save his ass. Hell, Bush lied to America every other day and never got called on it. So come down off the high horse, because you'd do the same thing in his position. It's wrong, yes, he's no better than the rest of us. He's just really, really, rich and has banged Madonna. And if the sportswriters could look past their own miserable existences that only Death's icy touch can free them from, they'd see that.
No comments:
Post a Comment