Michele Bachman doesn't want to relinquish the crazy

I used to think that Minnesota was such a genius state, because they elected Jesse Ventura as governor, but then I noticed that they also elected US Rep. Michele Bachmann, she with the crazy eyes who always makes with the crazy talk. In retrospect, you guys are fucking retarded, because you elected this loon AND a pro wrestler. You're stupider than California's cowboy-and-future-cyborg electing ass.

Michele Bachmann never has any shortage of crazy things to say, which makes me glad that I live anywhere outside of her district. Her district could be the only option outside of living in a state run by rabid monkeys and I'd still think I was getting better deal living somewhere else. The state I live in right now kept electing Zell Miller who, while also crazy, has the excuse of being senile. Bachmann is only in her 40s, which means she's just like that.

Anyway, yesterday, Bachmann spoke at some teleconference thing called "Keeping Faith for the Unborn," a title that I don't even fully comprehend, and even while surrounded by lots of fellow crazies (including an elected official who called a gay man's murder a "hoax" and another one who refused to concede after she lost her reelection in November) she still managed to make her level of crazy stand out from the rest.

She implored that everyone get down on their knees and pray that health care reform fails. After all, it's not like there's anything in there that could be useful, like preventing insurance companies from denying coverage based on pre-existing conditions.

Then, she reiterated that HR 3200 would create provisions for "death panels," a myth that not only was debunked by people who have been working on the bill (i.e., they've seen the shit), but was mostly promoted by a person who not only doesn't work in Congress at all, but doesn't even have a job. "Thank God Sarah Palin said that," Bachmann is quoted as saying. And I agree. Thank God she said it, because it just drives home the fact that we'll never have to worry about her being President.

To follow that up, a caller asked if there was a plan to require all doctors to perform abortions, and even though she's in Congress and has access to the bills in the works, she didn't say, "No, stupid," because, you know, it's not in the works. She said, “Unless we explicitly restrict these items, I think we can fully expect that these radical pro-abortion individuals could very likely make those decisions."

Yes, lets restrict the items that no one has brought up. "I think we should explicitly restrict publicly dryhumping table legs." "Let's put a ban on broken glass in breakfast cereals. Think about the children."

Then, she called for prayer again, to make sure that health care reform fails. I can't believe that you elected this nut, Minnesota. Even the Republicans acknowledge that some form of health care reform needs to happen. But the idea that this woman would pray to God that things won't get better...well, you deserve what you get. I hope all of Minnesota's 10,000 lakes simultaneously catch fire.