A little known fact about the sports writers’ community: Their secondary job is to be our moral compass. They are the guides who keep us out of the offensive abyss of depravity, the lighthouse on the shores of decency that keeps us from crashing into the rocks of immorality. I didn’t realize this until today, when they reminded us yet again of what we should and shouldn’t say, because after all, being able to analyze sporting events automatically qualifies you to be an expert on what passes for acceptable speech. I hear Ann Landers got her job after spending 10 years coaching women’s badminton.
University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban re-established his ties to the Prince of Darkness yet again, not for abandoning his job for more money, but for comparing football losses to 9/11 and Pearl Harbor. It probably isn’t a connection that should be made, but because sports writers are the lemmings of the reporting world, I decided to reserve judgment until I heard the comments for myself.
And like always, a group of the world’s highest paid retards have overreacted. I could already see Bob Ryan spitting all over the camera in outrage.
Even when a spokesman at Alabama clarified what he meant (something that shouldn’t have to be done if one wasn’t actively seeking to find fault with people), the sports writers felt it wasn’t good enough and that Saban should have apologized to everyone. I think the sports writers need to explain this to everyone: “What exactly was so damn offensive?”
I heard what Saban said, and understood what he meant without having my hand held by the spokesperson, something that’s easy to do when your motivation isn’t to be the first person to condemn someone else. But for the people who don’t think that brainpower is a requirement to process information, allow me to clear all of this up.
Saban wasn’t comparing football to our national atrocities and he’s not disrespecting anyone by having them in the same sentence. If that were the case, I should be criticized every time I have “Atlanta Falcons” and “winners” in the same sentence. The fault isn’t with him, the fault is with all of his critics for claiming that he said something wrong and jumping down his throat just because they don’t like him.
If you listen to his words without passing judgment in advance you’ll see that he’s merely saying that in times of tragedy, advancements are made. That’s all. And in the context of college football, losing to some no-name school from the backwoods of Alabama is a tragedy when you’re playing for the Crimson Tide. Look at the effect that losing to Appalachian St. had on Michigan earlier this season. They don’t even have a mascot that sounds like a euphemism for “menstrual cycle.”
Evoking 9/11 was a way to illustrate an example of when advancements were made following tragedy and it was one that everyone would know. He could have used “The Battle of Pisswater” that followed the “Invasion of the Turd Miner Homestead,” but then no one would have known what he was talking about.
Clearly, Nick Saban’s only crime (and mine, apparently) is not knowing that the ban on mentioning or referring to anything that happened on September 11, 2001 is still in effect for anyone not named George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, or Rudolph Giuliani.
It really shouldn’t take the words of some hack blogger to explain things like logic and common sense to people whose job it is to sway public opinion, and yet, here I am, doing it again. This would be so much easier if I already worked at ESPN. It’s just a suggestion.