Sunday, November 18, 2007

Barry Bonds' Indictment: Is it all worth it?

Minutes after Barry Bonds was indicted on federal perjury and obstruction of justice charges, ESPN had a statement from the President of the United States on this matter. Doesn’t matter what he said, but I know he didn’t respond to the Jena 6 situation that quickly. Shows where his priorities lie.

The equation for the Bush’s concern level would read:

Baseball > Black Americans’ Ongoing Struggle for Racial Equality.

But anyway...

Four years and millions of dollars were devoted to building a case against Barry Bonds. For that kind of persistence, one might think that Barry Bonds was a president-killing-child-rapist with ties to al-Qaeda. Or that he was plotting to overthrow the government and inject all of us with AIDS. Maybe he was caught putting crack and urine in the drinking water. But no, he’s being indicted for lying to the government and possibly paying his friend not to rat him out.

No, for real. I’m so sincere.

And should he be convicted, he could get up to 30 years in prison, for four counts of perjury (five years each) and one count of obstruction of justice (10 years). And what did Barry Bonds lie to a federal grand jury about? Did he lie about his involvement in the revelation of a secret agent’s true identity? Did he lie about our government’s reasons for invading a sovereign nation? Did he even cover up something that possibly involved bringing harm or death to another human being? No, he allegedly lied about whether or not he knew the stuff in the syringe in his butt was steroids. For all he knew, it could have been fruit juices or concentrated happiness.

And with that, one of America’s most hated human beings is going to go to trial. I say “one of” because O.J. Simpson still draws breath.

I’m actually curious to know what lies he allegedly told that are worth four counts of perjury. The only thing he was most likely asked about was whether or not he knowingly took steroids and how many lies can you really tell about that? Couldn’t they just whittle that down to one charge?

No, of course they couldn’t, because the government was bound and determined to get dangerous criminals like Barry Bonds into jail and off the streets where he could knowingly give someone incorrect directions to the grocery store or what time the results show for “Dancing With the Stars” is coming on.

Was all of this really necessary for a dishonest person? Look, no one’s saying that Barry Bonds didn’t do anything that he’s accused of doing. Certainly, I’m not defending his alleged *wink wink* steroid use and alleged lies told. What I’m saying is, was four years and millions of dollars to bring this man down really called for? He wasn’t the only one using steroids and he definitely wasn’t the only one lying to the government, but unless it was written in invisible ink, I don’t see Mark McGwire’s, Sammy Sosa’s, and Rafael Palmiero’s names anywhere on the indictment.

Do you know how many actual criminals the government could have brought down in four years? Imagine if this kind of persistence and focus had been applied to something that matters, like The War on Otherwise Innocuous Words or Lindsay Lohan’s War on Sobriety. In half that time, we’d be done waging war on concepts and Lindsay Lohan would be so drunk that she couldn’t even see anymore.

Seriously, it’s not like Bonds was giving away government secrets or was a threat to national security. He was covering his own ass about the level of horse piss in his veins, which ranks among things like “elected official lies about his love for cock in his mouth” or “Hypocrite Newt Gingrich has also cheated on his wife and lied about it” for importance in the court system. Everyone lies to the government. I lied once and told the government I lived somewhere where I didn’t so I could register my car in another state and not have to pass emissions. Should I spend four years of my life in jail for that? And should the government dedicate their lives to bringing me down?

Like I said, I’m not defending Bonds, but I am saying that all of this is overkill. How is this going to make the world safer for anyone? How is this even going to improve baseball? The man is 43 and about to retire, anyway. His records have already been set. He’s not selling steroids to anyone and everyone who wants to take steroids is already taking them. What is this really going to do? I guess since the home run record has already been broken and all of that money has already exchanged hands, it won’t hurt to go ahead and bring down the biggest name in baseball. Or is the timing of this only suspect to me?

I’m not even saying that he shouldn’t be in trouble, just that all of this effort isn’t worth the payoff. Putting Barry Bonds in jail isn’t going to even begin to clean up the drug problem in baseball. It’s not going to change anything. It’s like claiming that putting Mel Gibson in jail is the first step to ridding the world of alcoholism.

No comments: