Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Deconstructing Limbaugh's Fairy Tale Land

Rush Limbaugh wants President Obama to fail.

Rush Limbaugh also claims that it's okay to make insane statements like that, because all of the Bush-haters wanted Bush to fail in Iraq.

The fact that Rush wants Obama to fail means that he wants the country to become flat broke. He wants the worst for all Americans. He wants us all, all races, parties, creeds, colors, and waist sizes, to eat dirtbombs for dinner from the underside of the overpass. Because that's the only thing that can happen if this President does fail. If Obama fails, we're pretty much screwed.

Well, most of us are. The ones who aren't screwed will most likely will be screwed as soon as the ones who are screwed realize that they've still got lights and food. Then, the words "Eat the rich" will re-enter our collective mindscape.

Well, we probably won't attack (all of) the rich, but why does he want Obama to fail? What could his motivation be for wanting something like that? It's simple, really. He wants a Republican to save us. Forget everything that he has to say about his reasons. That's all it is, partisan politics. Except he's not an elected official and no one with any good sense listens to him, anyway.

But it's just sour grapes because a Democrat won the Presidency and a Black one, at that. Because what Rush is saying is not even the same thing as everyone else being against Bush. For one, Obama was democratically elected.

Stealing the election was forgotten after 9/11, though. George W. Bush had the world on his side, simply by being an inept President. His historic unwillingness to read memos allowed him to fall face first into the goodwill of the entire planet. Except for the country that we were about to attack, understandably. It would have been really stupid if Afghanistan was inviting the ass-kicking. Or incredibly perverted, but some people are into that.

But then, he pissed it all away by saying, "No, wait. Let's go to Iraq, instead. It's an open and shut case because Iraq and Afghanistan are both, well, you know...turn around again, and that's why we Iraq is the greater threat." We were so baffled by how this man hadn't drowned himself in the toilet that we forgot to stop this from going down.

The thing about Iraq was, it's not that we wanted to LOSE in Iraq, it's that we wanted to LEAVE Iraq. That might be a failure for Bush, but who cares about his ego when 40,000 of our soldiers are walking around America alive and in one piece (4,000 killed, 36,000 injured). Maybe Bush should have tried fighting the war that we were willing to fight. Sorry that all Americans weren't so easily distracted by the endless oil profits that we weren't going to get a dime of. How selfish of us for not wanting to sacrifice our limbs for Halliburton's stockholders. All we were able to see was the futility in throwing lives and dollars at an unwinnable war.

Obama's not waging an ill-advised and unpopular war; Obama's trying to fix the economy, and I'm pretty sure that at least 90% of Americans and the rest of the world want the damn thing fixed. Yeah, Rush, it's exactly the same thing...like Fox News and actual news are exactly the same thing.

If he succeeds, if everything works out like he wants, the economy has a shot at working again. People will have jobs and money; the streets will flow with milk, honey, and the tears of the Republican faithful. So by saying that you don't want that to happen, that means you, Rush Limbaugh, don't want me personally to have a job. You're not even offering alternative or viable solutions, because if tax cuts were the answer, they would have worked when Bush was still spectacularly failing at being President. You're just being a dick and not even for a good reason.

Fuck you, Rush Limbaugh. I want for your show to get cancelled and for you to get lost in Southwest Atlanta. Clearly, we all can't all get what we want in life.

But feel free to keep attacking Michael Steele and Arlen Specter.

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