Jay Cutler: It could also be a girl's name

So Jay Cutler is upset because the Denver Broncos entertained the idea of trading him. In other news, Jay Cutler believes that the entire city of Denver is resting on his shoulders and that trading him is such utter folly that even to discuss it is laughable.

Jay Cutler should just quit crying and act like a man about this. It's the nature of the business he chose to be in. You think old people cry just because their kids put them in a home? Of course not, because they knew that this was part of the deal when they decided to beat their kids for not mowing the lawn in a checkerboard fashion like they were told. It's just something that comes with the situation, like tiger trainers losing limbs.

You don't get mad at the hooker for burning you, do you? After all, you were the one that chose to sleep with her. You knew the risks when you decided to get involved with her in the first place. And since you've already gotten burned once, you might as well go ahead and keep sleeping with her on Sunday afternoons like you'd been doing.

I don't know why he was looking at a business organization for loyalty, because those are the same organizations that mysteriously "reorganize" when it's time for a large group of people to hit retirement age. There is no loyalty in big business. And now that the Broncos have a new coach who worked with the quarterback that they were trying to get, it only made sense to try to see what they could do about getting Matt Cassel. Sorry about your feelings, Jay Cutler; we thought you were a man.

And what was Jay Cutler's logical follow-up to these actions? In a fit of rage, he decided that he wanted to be traded because they were looking to trade him. I guess because he looks like a seven-year old, he decided to act like a seven-year old, too. Does he drop out of kickball when he doesn't get to go first?

The idea of getting traded is just something that happens unless your name is on this recently invented list: LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Dwyane Wade, Adrian Peterson, Tom Brady, Peyton Manning. Not even LaDainian Tomlinson is on here, and he's way better than Jay Cutler is. So just take it all in stride, Jay. There are way worse situations than this one, like no one wanting you at all or having to backup Matt Leinart. They didn't disrespect you. They didn't say that your mother has a glass eye with a fish in it or a wooden leg with a kickstand. They just talked about trading you, and they have every right to do that.

The Broncos discussed trading John Elway once, too and all it did was make him a better player. I know you don't think you're better than John Elway. Just be glad that you're in the situation you're in, because no one at all has to pay you millions of dollars to throw a dead pig at other grown men.