Okay, so the word is, they're trying to put an extra tax on fast food and soda, because if you're gonna kill yourself with garbage, at least benefit the government in some way while you're on the way out. It's just like with cigarettes, I assume. Since a lot of people are gonna wind up on the taxpayer's dime anyway (at the hospital with obesity-related illness, but with no coverage), why can't the government get a little action on this, too?
But if anyone says the word "tax" people just lose it. They said "tax," not "sacrifice your virgin daughters to Chthulu." Not like most of you would have to worry about that anyway.
I understand that taxes has a pretty bad rep in America. After all, we fought Poppa England because we were paying a bunch of taxes, and got a catchy line out of it: "No taxation without representation." In fact, some people like to bring that line out anytime something happens in government that they don't like. Frankly, I'm shocked that President Obama hasn't had that one thrown at him more.
When it comes to taxing the stuff that has turned America into "Fat Bastard Nation," though, people are losing their minds before legislation can even be written. All they said was that they were thinking about it.
But if they did, would it really be that bad? I mean, calling it "socialist" right off the bat is kinda stupid, because the socialist thing to do would be to make everyone eat and drink the same thing, wouldn't it? "All foods are created equal."
Claiming that "government is telling you what to eat or drink" is wrong, too. They're not telling you anything. They're just saying they're going to charge a little more for MURDEROUS BURGERS, FRIES, AND DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS PEPSI. Doesn't change my life one bit. Mostly because I almost never drink soda, I don't eat fries at all, and when it comes to burgers, I stick to the dollar menu, because I'm cheap. And fat already.
But the tax...now that's the sticking point, isn't it? "NEXT THEY'RE GONNA CHARGE US FOR THE AIR WE BREATHE!!!" And that's silly, because it's not a rare commodity yet. But give it time. Our corporations are desperately trying to get it there.
Would the tax be so bad, though? Let's say they tax every 20 oz. bottle with an extra ten cents. Is that really gonna be the end of the fucking world? So, instead of $1.25, you're paying about $1.35, then sales tax on top of that? Grand total, maybe $1.42. Now, let's be honest: Is that ten cents really gonna break you? If you're that worried about ten cents, then maybe you should rethink how badly you need a lot of the things you're buying, let alone soda.
Not only that, if ten cents is the breaking point to the fragile house of cards known as "your financial situation," then where is this outrage whenever inflation drives the prices of EVERYTHING up? I was being generous with the $1.25 for the 20 oz. In some places, they're almost two dollars. There are vending machines at Six Flags that go as high as three. You're worried about ten cents when they're charging that much for a fucking soda without tax? It's the same soda as in the store, but you're paying for the convenience of having a soda at Six Flags! And they've got a policy where you can't bring in outside food, so unless you wanna risk catching a water borne disease from their water fountains, your only options are "pay the three bucks" or "risk dehydration, because it's August in Georgia." As some of my friends and family will tell you, I've gladly risked the dehydration.
But hey, that's okay...it's capitalism, right? Corporations can raise prices on their stuff on a whim, and that's cool, because the stockholders need their dividends, but the government can't tax anything without it being a huge problem. Ten damn cents. And that's likely a high-end estimate.
I'm not saying I agree with the tax, but we're fighting the wrong battle here. Coke added fifteen cents to their price and blamed it on gas prices. Now that gas prices have gone back down, logic would dictate that Coke prices would, too, but expecting that is like expecting Kanye West to be a positive image of black manhood. Sure, he hasn't gone to jail and doesn't have any outside kids, but he's the biggest asshole of all time.
Of all time.
I guess my criticism of Coke means that the greed centers of my brain are clearly underused. At least the government tax will stay consistent. All I'm saying is worse things are happening than a possible junk food tax, tubby. Fox News has really done it's job well, getting you mad at the wrong shit, because inflation has been fucking you over for way longer than that.
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