A few weeks ago, I wrote about the futility of the sports interview. Basically, you shouldn’t expect honest answers from these people, and you truthfully don’t want them. Case in point was US Women’s goalie Hope Solo, who ripped her coach for starting 36 year old Briana Scurry in their game against Brazil, who gave up four goals in a loss. Solo was immediately criticized for speaking her mind, which she probably wouldn’t have done if she hadn’t been asked the question by the reporter who was standing there holding the mike.
My point is that Americans don't really want the truth to their questions. But I’m about to ask another question: What would you have had her say?
Arizona Sen. Larry Craig has been in the news recently, because apparently, he’s developed a taste for tube steak wrapped in shorts. There’s a lot of controversy behind this, because he was arrested, exposed, and called upon to resign, and he hasn’t and won’t do it…after saying he would. I don’t really know the ins and outs, and that’s mainly because the hypocrisy of politics never catches me off guard, so I never felt the need to make sure if what I’m saying is truly accurate.
He was interviewed by CNN (I guess), recently, and I caught a glimpse of the interview. Unsurprisingly, he was asked if he was averse to taking shots in the poop chute, and he said that he was. The reporter followed that up with a question about whether or not he was okay with the idea of two men spooning in the park. He responded by saying that he does agree with that lifestyle. Of course, these weren’t the actual questions (mainly because I wasn’t the one giving the interview), but hopefully, you’re able to get the gist of what was said.
I’m sure people will not be satisfied with his answers, because after all, it’s not like straight men fall for undercover cops propositioning them for gay sex without already being gay. I don’t think there’s anyone in America who believes that he ISN’T gay. I saw the amount of makeup he was wearing in the interview, and how well manicured his eyebrows were, and thought, “FABULOUS!”
But what did you expect him to say? If there’s anyone who truly believed that he’d get out there and go, “Hey, man, look. I just…I like sucking cock,” please go get that metal shard sticking out of your head looked at, because it looks gangrenous. You probably also believe that the Bush Administration believes in an open and transparent government.
The futility of the sports interview can be applied to any sort of interview, really. Did you really think Bill Clinton would get in front of America and say, “Dude…smell my finger.” Or for Britney Spears to say, “I prefer snorting cocaine over spending time with my kids?” Perhaps you truly expected Paris Hilton to talk to Letterman about how she cried every day in jail, and yet, hasn’t changed in the slightest, because she’s going to the club as soon as the cameras are finished taping?
Sometimes, we just shouldn’t expect the truth to come out of people. And sometimes, when the truth does come out of people, they shouldn’t try so hard to pretend like they didn’t say it. Mel Gibson, own that shit! Clearly, you’ve got something against Jews, because I’ve been drunk before, and it didn’t turn me into an Anti-Semitic. Honestly, the only time I’ve ever been drunk and tried to have a decent conversation, it really just turned out that we were saying the same four sentences over and over in different variations for about two hours. I spent the entire next day vomiting in a hotel bathroom.
So don’t pretend that you didn’t mean it. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being distrustful of Jewish people. The people in Hollywood who distribute your movies might not think so, but all in all, is it really that bad? It’s not like the Jews are looking out for black people. And none of that is to say that I dislike Jewish people, because outside of Jon Stewart and Zach Braff, I don’t think I know any. Personally, I think those guys are hilarious. Goldberg still sucks, though.
Calm down…I don’t hate Jews. Hell, everyone distrusts black people, and you don’t see me getting up in arms about it. Jewish people, own that shit! Black people have turned everyone else’s fear and distrust of us into an art form. We call it “hip-hop.” And on second thought, maybe you do own it. Maybe you call it being a “labeling everyone as an Anti-Semitic.”
Why’s everyone so afraid of the truth? Because you’re afraid of what everyone will think of you? What’s the worst that could happen? Trent Lott was exposed as a racist, and he still kept his political career going, and had he moved to South Carolina, he probably would have been in line for a Presidential bid. John Amaechi came out of the closet and it helped his book sales way more than pretending to be straight would have.
Of course, you can’t just get out there and talk crazy. You have to temper yourself a little. Tim Hardaway was fired from life after saying what he said about gay people, and I fail to see how Evangelical preachers keep any supporters at all after some of the insanity that they come up with. Those guys have managed to top the Bible for total number of outlandish statements. If I told the world that 9/11 and AIDS happened because God doesn’t like us being nice to gay people, I’d probably reading all my hate mail in the pile of rubble that used to be my house.
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