Michael's Vick's legal troubles have all finally been resolved and now, it's just a waiting game until he gets out of prison and starts trying to get back into the NFL. No guarantees it'll happen, though, because Roger Goodell is kind of a dick.
But even though he will have paid his debt to society (and the debt of two or three other people) when he's released from prison, and even though he's lost everything (financially speaking), that's just not good enough for some people. There are people who still say he should never be allowed back in the NFL. And that's cool, because it's their right to be stupid.
These are the people who say that playing in the NFL isn't a right. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean at this stage. Working at Burger King isn't a right, either. It's not even a foregone conclusion that he'll even get back to the NFL, but it's wrong to deny him the chance just because some people don't like what he did. Now, if he had been sitting on the sidelines smashing puppy skulls on his helmet, then yeah, I'd say that he should be gone for good. I'd also say he needed help.
But that's not what happened. Yes, he did it, admitted to doing it, and turned himself in. It's got nothing to do with football, though. And crimes away from the field or how clean someone's soul is should have nothing to do with whether or not someone should be allowed to play. People always bring up Leonard Little still being in the league after he killed A PERSON while driving drunk back in 1998. Some people even bring up Ray Lewis's murder trial. I'm going to bring up alleged drunk and rumored racist, Babe Ruth. I don't even know if that stuff is true, but if it is, and that guy's in the Hall of Fame, continues to be celebrated in America, and was immortalized through confectionary and fictional curses, then Vick should be allowed to play again.
What about all of the athletes who hit their wives? They're still allowed to play. Guys are busted for drug use or DUI or gun possession all the time. What about college athletes who steal from other students or cheat on tests? What about when they cheat on their wives? What about when they abandon their kids? Pacman Jones gets to play and he's probably choking a stripper right now. It's funny how these people who continue to judge Vick are doing it based on his crimes against dogs, but the ones who commit crimes against people are fine. The point is, a lot of these athletes are not angels. Michael Jordan is an asshole, but the Chicago Bulls didn't draft him because they thought his aura made angels weep. They drafted him because he was a monster on the basketball court. If whether or not a player was a good guy was the deciding factor to these decisions, then professional sports would be a very boring place because almost none of your favorite players would be in it.
Michael Vick made a mistake. He's paying for it and will continue to pay for it in ways that are far more hurtful than PETA picketing the next team he plays for. Let's move on, as he's trying to, and let the man live his life, whether or not that includes football. Of course, I don't expect that to happen, because we don't exactly live in a forgiving nation. They didn't let that "not guilty" verdict stand in the way of their opinion that O.J. did it.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Ad execs: Stop trying to be my friend
I don't really watch a lot of Black programming on TV, mainly because it's almost nonexistent outside of BET and watching that channel conflicts with stated goal not to set back Black people. I rarely watch TVOne because I can watch reruns on TV Land. But I do listen to the radio (102.5 Atlanta), so I get a chance to hear some of the ways that advertisers try to attract the Black consumer. It's almost as if they're relying on the descriptions of the first Europeans in Africa: "The ways of these Negroes are very savage indeed, and they be very musical people. Also, they offered to put my ship on 24s."
I can't stress enough how much I despise the series of Hillshire Farm radio ads. It's commercials like this that make me think that ad execs really believe that we'll buy anything as long as you sing it to s. And it's not that, it's some sort of discarded Southern rap beat as the background music (usually SUV commercials). Don't let me forget the ones with Black people who have proper speaking voices trying to sound lie they're "down with the homies," so as to better relate to the "urban" demographic, while still enunciating every slang-tinted word.
Person: What is happening, homeboy? I can see that thou art jealous of my new Ford Flex! Its sleek styling assures that niggas will become nauseous with jealousy at the merest sight of it!
Other person: You are correct in your assessment, homie. Your fine vehicle just shitted all over my old car. Surely, the ladies will no longer consort with the likes of me. Regrettably, I have not to finances to acquire such.
Person: Sweat it not, for the noble dealership requires naught of you but a job! Their affordable rates will assure that you shan't miss a single child support payment!
Look, I understand that people want to be sold a product from a voice and a face that they can relate to. I get that. I just don't like the voice and the face that you chose to relate to me. How hard is it to have some intelligent-sounding Black people discussing the product? You think I'll only respond to a commercial because it's got pimps and breakdancers in it, because they are the cornerstones of the "Black experience?" I don't see Latino-based ads with Mexicans discussing the refreshing taste of Coke while they're running from "la migre." Just because you don't see it on "I Love New York" doesn't mean that Black people aren't capable of comprehending regular English.
The commercials don't have to have a sassy Black woman, rappers, or be "hip" in any way. I don't need for your company to show that it understands my struggle. I don't know anyone who bought a bottle of Pine-Sol because they felt like the company was "speaking their language." You're selling me disinfectant, not marrying into my family, so we don't need to have an intimate relationship. Just have two Black people tell me about your company's promises not to put the ebola virus in the bottle (without trying to sound "Black") and get the hell off my screen. If you're selling washing powder to Black woman, then just talk about how the washing powder gets whites their whitest. It's not a requirement for someone to say, "Whoo, chile! This new Tide sho' is good! Let's go tell Big Mama!"
Trust me, we know when we're listening to another Black person, so you don't need to tell your voice actors to be "more Black" in an effort to earn our loyalties. Even Al Roker's voice can't be confused for a white man. We know the difference between our voices and yours, so the stereotypes aren't necessary. Just talk to us like grown-ups. And if you want to show that you're sensitive to the Black community, donate to some schools or build some sidewalks. Don't learn the hard way that pandering is insulting, like Hillary Clinton did.
I can't stress enough how much I despise the series of Hillshire Farm radio ads. It's commercials like this that make me think that ad execs really believe that we'll buy anything as long as you sing it to s. And it's not that, it's some sort of discarded Southern rap beat as the background music (usually SUV commercials). Don't let me forget the ones with Black people who have proper speaking voices trying to sound lie they're "down with the homies," so as to better relate to the "urban" demographic, while still enunciating every slang-tinted word.
Person: What is happening, homeboy? I can see that thou art jealous of my new Ford Flex! Its sleek styling assures that niggas will become nauseous with jealousy at the merest sight of it!
Other person: You are correct in your assessment, homie. Your fine vehicle just shitted all over my old car. Surely, the ladies will no longer consort with the likes of me. Regrettably, I have not to finances to acquire such.
Person: Sweat it not, for the noble dealership requires naught of you but a job! Their affordable rates will assure that you shan't miss a single child support payment!
Look, I understand that people want to be sold a product from a voice and a face that they can relate to. I get that. I just don't like the voice and the face that you chose to relate to me. How hard is it to have some intelligent-sounding Black people discussing the product? You think I'll only respond to a commercial because it's got pimps and breakdancers in it, because they are the cornerstones of the "Black experience?" I don't see Latino-based ads with Mexicans discussing the refreshing taste of Coke while they're running from "la migre." Just because you don't see it on "I Love New York" doesn't mean that Black people aren't capable of comprehending regular English.
The commercials don't have to have a sassy Black woman, rappers, or be "hip" in any way. I don't need for your company to show that it understands my struggle. I don't know anyone who bought a bottle of Pine-Sol because they felt like the company was "speaking their language." You're selling me disinfectant, not marrying into my family, so we don't need to have an intimate relationship. Just have two Black people tell me about your company's promises not to put the ebola virus in the bottle (without trying to sound "Black") and get the hell off my screen. If you're selling washing powder to Black woman, then just talk about how the washing powder gets whites their whitest. It's not a requirement for someone to say, "Whoo, chile! This new Tide sho' is good! Let's go tell Big Mama!"
Trust me, we know when we're listening to another Black person, so you don't need to tell your voice actors to be "more Black" in an effort to earn our loyalties. Even Al Roker's voice can't be confused for a white man. We know the difference between our voices and yours, so the stereotypes aren't necessary. Just talk to us like grown-ups. And if you want to show that you're sensitive to the Black community, donate to some schools or build some sidewalks. Don't learn the hard way that pandering is insulting, like Hillary Clinton did.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I Hate You, Beyonce
I remember back when Beyonce was in Destiny's Child and she started that squealing shit. I guess that was her version of the Jodeci "Hoo-yeah," or Michael Jackson's "Shum-on." It was then that I knew that our listener/listenee relationship just wasn't gonna work. I mean, she was cute enough and I was willing to overlook the fact that Mick Jagger having a seizure in a mosh pit had more rhythm. But the squealing was going to destroy me.
Still, that eventually passed over befcause someone must have sat her down and told her than she sounded like two cats fighting it out in the parking lot. The squealing hadn't been heard since and I let the whole thing go. Next, there was the most telegraphed group break-up since Lionel Richie left the Commodores.
She led off with "Crazy in Love," which I never got tired of hearing, because the beat was hot and there was a Jay-Z verse, which means the rest of the song could have been Dick Cheney singing about his war profits and I'd still try to put a positive spin on it. Speaking of Jay-Z, Beyonce had begun seeing him, so out of respect for him, I decided to stop talking about her. It's not like Jay-Z was ever going to hear or care about anything I had ever said from now until forever on any topic imaginable, but I like to think that my efforts meant something. Ultimately, Beyonce didn't appreciate it, because she went out of her way to end my insult embargo.
While "Crazy in Love" was out, though, I began to defend her from time to time, because it's not as if she doesn't have her positive qualities. She's a beautiful girl when she's not all permed up. She's worked hard at being a better dancer and has come such a long way since those first couple of Destiny's Child albums, when she was a constant danger to herself and those around her. But the song quality has steadily declined over the years, going from, "Hey, this song isn't bad (Bills, Bills, Bills)," to "Okay, it's corny, but that's just music today (Bootylicious)," to "What kind of ig'nant shit...(SOLDIER)?"
That's where we are today: Ig'nant shit. In fact, we were at that level way before I had the chance to ask what the fuck a "Sasha Fierce" was. I should have known something was wrong when "Bug-a-Boo" came out, but I just wrote that off as an aberration on an otherwise decent album. I guess she felt that I hadn't been properly pissed off or something, because she followed that up with songs like her faux-reggae, "Baby Boy," "Say My Name," and the focus of at least 74% of my possible hatred, "Irrreplaceable." Due to today's lowered musical standards, the songs were unsurprisingly popular, so I was forced to hear them over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. On a related note, I also hate V103 in Atlanta.
No one ever accused Beyonce fans of having good taste, so I wouldn't expect them to understand why it bothers me to hear her whine her way through a song when I know she's better than that. Her fans would rightly point out that I can't sing and that if I were to start, angels would cast themselves out of Heaven and babies would eat their own souls. Who am I to criticize when I can't sing?
Well, sure she can sing better than ME, but that's like saying that Superman shoots heat rays out of his eyes better than I do. Some things I'm just not able to do and just because I can't do it doesn't mean that I can't tell when someone's doing it wrong. You don't need Spider-Man and Captain Marvel there to point out that Superman's use of heat vision to light schools on fire is a horrible abuse of power. And what Beyonce is doing to music these days is the equivalent of Superman picking off the kids who manage to escape the building unharmed.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she continues the assault on the the children in my ears when "Put A Ring On It." I think some of the stuff I said back in 2001 might have finally gotten back to her, because she wrote this just to get back at me. Or maybe this song is just a joke that I don't get. Either way, it's just an awful, awful, song and she couldn't have possibly been serious when she wrote what passes for a crime against humanity. Songs like this just don't age gracefully and the worst thing that can happen to a music career is to be too closely associated with the stupid. Kinda like how it was over for Paula Abdul after she made a video with that damn cat.
This is the path she's chosen, though, which means as bad as "Put a Ring On It" is, we still haven't hit rock bottom yet. Beyonce fans don't even seem to like that song and I've heard bad things about "If I Was a Boy" that I'll never be able to verify if there is a God in Heaven. If I have to die or go deaf to prevent me from ever hearing that song, then I guess it was just God's will. That's how far Beyonce has taken this thing: Hearing nothing at all has become a viable alternative to prevent me from hearing her.
I'm just kidding, God. I need my hearing. Without it, how can I point out nonsense like this?
Still, that eventually passed over befcause someone must have sat her down and told her than she sounded like two cats fighting it out in the parking lot. The squealing hadn't been heard since and I let the whole thing go. Next, there was the most telegraphed group break-up since Lionel Richie left the Commodores.
She led off with "Crazy in Love," which I never got tired of hearing, because the beat was hot and there was a Jay-Z verse, which means the rest of the song could have been Dick Cheney singing about his war profits and I'd still try to put a positive spin on it. Speaking of Jay-Z, Beyonce had begun seeing him, so out of respect for him, I decided to stop talking about her. It's not like Jay-Z was ever going to hear or care about anything I had ever said from now until forever on any topic imaginable, but I like to think that my efforts meant something. Ultimately, Beyonce didn't appreciate it, because she went out of her way to end my insult embargo.
While "Crazy in Love" was out, though, I began to defend her from time to time, because it's not as if she doesn't have her positive qualities. She's a beautiful girl when she's not all permed up. She's worked hard at being a better dancer and has come such a long way since those first couple of Destiny's Child albums, when she was a constant danger to herself and those around her. But the song quality has steadily declined over the years, going from, "Hey, this song isn't bad (Bills, Bills, Bills)," to "Okay, it's corny, but that's just music today (Bootylicious)," to "What kind of ig'nant shit...(SOLDIER)?"
That's where we are today: Ig'nant shit. In fact, we were at that level way before I had the chance to ask what the fuck a "Sasha Fierce" was. I should have known something was wrong when "Bug-a-Boo" came out, but I just wrote that off as an aberration on an otherwise decent album. I guess she felt that I hadn't been properly pissed off or something, because she followed that up with songs like her faux-reggae, "Baby Boy," "Say My Name," and the focus of at least 74% of my possible hatred, "Irrreplaceable." Due to today's lowered musical standards, the songs were unsurprisingly popular, so I was forced to hear them over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. On a related note, I also hate V103 in Atlanta.
No one ever accused Beyonce fans of having good taste, so I wouldn't expect them to understand why it bothers me to hear her whine her way through a song when I know she's better than that. Her fans would rightly point out that I can't sing and that if I were to start, angels would cast themselves out of Heaven and babies would eat their own souls. Who am I to criticize when I can't sing?
Well, sure she can sing better than ME, but that's like saying that Superman shoots heat rays out of his eyes better than I do. Some things I'm just not able to do and just because I can't do it doesn't mean that I can't tell when someone's doing it wrong. You don't need Spider-Man and Captain Marvel there to point out that Superman's use of heat vision to light schools on fire is a horrible abuse of power. And what Beyonce is doing to music these days is the equivalent of Superman picking off the kids who manage to escape the building unharmed.
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she continues the assault on the the children in my ears when "Put A Ring On It." I think some of the stuff I said back in 2001 might have finally gotten back to her, because she wrote this just to get back at me. Or maybe this song is just a joke that I don't get. Either way, it's just an awful, awful, song and she couldn't have possibly been serious when she wrote what passes for a crime against humanity. Songs like this just don't age gracefully and the worst thing that can happen to a music career is to be too closely associated with the stupid. Kinda like how it was over for Paula Abdul after she made a video with that damn cat.
This is the path she's chosen, though, which means as bad as "Put a Ring On It" is, we still haven't hit rock bottom yet. Beyonce fans don't even seem to like that song and I've heard bad things about "If I Was a Boy" that I'll never be able to verify if there is a God in Heaven. If I have to die or go deaf to prevent me from ever hearing that song, then I guess it was just God's will. That's how far Beyonce has taken this thing: Hearing nothing at all has become a viable alternative to prevent me from hearing her.
I'm just kidding, God. I need my hearing. Without it, how can I point out nonsense like this?
Saturday, November 08, 2008
An Open Letter to the Bitter McCainiacs (and Palin-drones?)
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64% of Republicans are exceptionally stupid
It was recently reported that 64% percent of Republicans want Sarah Palin to run for President in 2012. And after I thought that this level of stupidity was only found in the Deep South. In 2002, Georgians proved themselves to be that stupid by electing Sonny Perdue as governor just because he said that he'd let the people of Georgia vote on whether or not the rebel shield would be put back on the Georgia state flag. It's that same mentality that wants Sarah Palin to run in 2012. Commentators say that she "energized the base," and maybe she did, but it's not because of anything substantive that she said. The base was "energized" because she said "God," "Guns," "liberal bias," and "overturn Roe v. Wade" in rapid succession. You're talking about people who are too busy hating "liberals" to listen to any real argument. All you have to do is sound like you're one of them, like Palin (and Bush before her) did. These people are known as "values voters," which makes them tons easier to lie to.
Everyone else, or as I like to call them, "People with sense," is/are going to need a little bit more than that to actually cast a vote for her. What are some of Palin's ideas (aside from book-banning and hunting wolves with a helicopter)? What kind of America does she want to bring forth (besides one with no abortion)? Does she have any plans for anything or any original thoughts to speak of (that don't involve firing people with dissenting opinions)? Or is she just going to bring us more of that typical right-wing mudslinging (I'm betting on this one)? Because if that's all she's got, her Presidential bid is going to last about as long as her Vice-Presidential nomination did.
As of right now, no one takes her seriously and even her own party's media arm (Faux News) is turning against her. She couldn't beat me in a debate and she's more closely associated with Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live, and being out-foxed by Katie Couric than anything involving politics. If that's the horse the Republicans are betting on, the Democrats can go ahead and put the 2012 election process on cruise control right now, because Cynthia McKinney and the Green Party will pose more of a threat than this chick will.
Everyone else, or as I like to call them, "People with sense," is/are going to need a little bit more than that to actually cast a vote for her. What are some of Palin's ideas (aside from book-banning and hunting wolves with a helicopter)? What kind of America does she want to bring forth (besides one with no abortion)? Does she have any plans for anything or any original thoughts to speak of (that don't involve firing people with dissenting opinions)? Or is she just going to bring us more of that typical right-wing mudslinging (I'm betting on this one)? Because if that's all she's got, her Presidential bid is going to last about as long as her Vice-Presidential nomination did.
As of right now, no one takes her seriously and even her own party's media arm (Faux News) is turning against her. She couldn't beat me in a debate and she's more closely associated with Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live, and being out-foxed by Katie Couric than anything involving politics. If that's the horse the Republicans are betting on, the Democrats can go ahead and put the 2012 election process on cruise control right now, because Cynthia McKinney and the Green Party will pose more of a threat than this chick will.
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Week 9: On the Come Up
There have been those who have asked me why I haven't had anything to say about this year's Atlanta Falcons, and my first reaction to that is, "Really? You really give a crap what I think?"
Then I thought it through a little more. Why haven't I had anything to say about the Falcons so far this year? They're a good team and I'm excited to see a good team for once. I have my opinions about this team just like the last few, but this team doesn't lend itself to nearly as many jokes as the comedy of errors known as "The Michael Vick Experience." When your coaching staff is dumb enough to run the same play for three straight downs despite the defense blowing it up every single time, you don't have to be Jon Stewart to get off a good one.
Not that I want the team to fail just so I can make jokes, but there's not a lot of mileage that I can get out of "Hey, this Dimitroff guy is making excellent decisions." He's not Rich McKay, who brought you such superstars as Jamaal "Begging to Get Cut" Anderson and "Hands of Stone" Michael Jenkins. Coach Mike Smith, while he has made mistakes, doesn't possess the historic levels of incompetence that makes players give up on the play before it's even run. He's not Bobby Petrino, who alienated Atlanta before the preseason started and didn't even have the common courtesy to get fired. He's not Jim Mora, Jr., who turned over his offensive playcalling to someone who didn't know how to call plays.
Also, for whatever reason, this season I've been avoiding the sportswriters community, which always provided me so many openings to show how a job in mass media doesn't mean that these people are smart. Whether its Skip Bayless giving himself a stroke on ESPN or the AJC's Terence Moore finding the negative side to the return of Jesus, I just haven't sought out their valuable counsel in these past months.
Personally, I blame my job for this. I know that a mature adult would take responsibility for their own actions, but if I were a mature adult, I wouldn't have a blog where I call Sarah Palin a complete imbecile. If you want me to write about the Falcons more, then help me get on at the AJC. Let's restart my campaign to get me hired there. Someone hire me a street team.
Now...having said all of that, the Atlanta Falcons are the best of the NFL's worst teams, which is an improvement on "Well, the Rams are still worse than us." Through seven games, they've lost to three good teams (Bucs, Panthers, Eagles) and beat one crappy team (Lions), one high school team (Chiefs), and two okay teams (Packers, Bears). As I write this, they are running away against a team that's so bad that the franchise should be retracted; the Raiders. I really don't think that the Raiders should even count as a real team. The last time the Falcons had a schedule this soft, they went 11-5 and fooled the country into thinking that they could run with the NFC Champion Philadelphia Eagles.
But this team is better than previous teams, just because the GM has realized that there are 52 other roster spots that need to be filled by good players. The Rich McKay method was to have Michael Vick carry the entire load on his back. The Thomas Dimitroff method is to build an real team with players who are capable of playing in the NFL (It actually occurred to him to have an offensive line that can keep people away from someone that isn't deep-fried and lying on their plates) with coaching that can actually adjust to what's happening on the field (Hey! Let's mix up the playcalling!). I think his method is working.
Even the guys that have been here and failed are playing better than they ever have. Former whipping boys for me like Michael Jenkins and Jerious Norwood...it's like someone sat them down and showed them how to actually play football. So what we need to do is find that person, take up a collection, and get them some free gas or extra lap dances at the Pink Pony or something, because who knew that Michael Jenkins was worth a damn as a football player? For far too long, he's been that girl who was cute, but too big to have an exposed midriff. But this past offseason, her aunt came over and showed her that low-rise jeans mixed with a muffintop stomach wasn't cute. Now, she's catching touchdowns from guys who don't look to take advantage of a girl with low self-esteem. I just got lost in my own metaphor.
All in all, I think that we, as Falcons fans, can finally say goodbye to always being at the bottom of the barrel. We are no longer one of the teams that make the faces of other teams light up. We're now one of the teams with the lit-up faces. Before you know it, we'll have our back-to-back winning seasons and playoff runs, just like all the other teams that have had competent management. So, while this might be just a bit premature, let me thank Arthur Blank for finally realizing that just because Rich McKay is really good at math doesn't mean that he can build a football team.
The Falcons are now 5-3.
Then I thought it through a little more. Why haven't I had anything to say about the Falcons so far this year? They're a good team and I'm excited to see a good team for once. I have my opinions about this team just like the last few, but this team doesn't lend itself to nearly as many jokes as the comedy of errors known as "The Michael Vick Experience." When your coaching staff is dumb enough to run the same play for three straight downs despite the defense blowing it up every single time, you don't have to be Jon Stewart to get off a good one.
Not that I want the team to fail just so I can make jokes, but there's not a lot of mileage that I can get out of "Hey, this Dimitroff guy is making excellent decisions." He's not Rich McKay, who brought you such superstars as Jamaal "Begging to Get Cut" Anderson and "Hands of Stone" Michael Jenkins. Coach Mike Smith, while he has made mistakes, doesn't possess the historic levels of incompetence that makes players give up on the play before it's even run. He's not Bobby Petrino, who alienated Atlanta before the preseason started and didn't even have the common courtesy to get fired. He's not Jim Mora, Jr., who turned over his offensive playcalling to someone who didn't know how to call plays.
Also, for whatever reason, this season I've been avoiding the sportswriters community, which always provided me so many openings to show how a job in mass media doesn't mean that these people are smart. Whether its Skip Bayless giving himself a stroke on ESPN or the AJC's Terence Moore finding the negative side to the return of Jesus, I just haven't sought out their valuable counsel in these past months.
Personally, I blame my job for this. I know that a mature adult would take responsibility for their own actions, but if I were a mature adult, I wouldn't have a blog where I call Sarah Palin a complete imbecile. If you want me to write about the Falcons more, then help me get on at the AJC. Let's restart my campaign to get me hired there. Someone hire me a street team.
Now...having said all of that, the Atlanta Falcons are the best of the NFL's worst teams, which is an improvement on "Well, the Rams are still worse than us." Through seven games, they've lost to three good teams (Bucs, Panthers, Eagles) and beat one crappy team (Lions), one high school team (Chiefs), and two okay teams (Packers, Bears). As I write this, they are running away against a team that's so bad that the franchise should be retracted; the Raiders. I really don't think that the Raiders should even count as a real team. The last time the Falcons had a schedule this soft, they went 11-5 and fooled the country into thinking that they could run with the NFC Champion Philadelphia Eagles.
But this team is better than previous teams, just because the GM has realized that there are 52 other roster spots that need to be filled by good players. The Rich McKay method was to have Michael Vick carry the entire load on his back. The Thomas Dimitroff method is to build an real team with players who are capable of playing in the NFL (It actually occurred to him to have an offensive line that can keep people away from someone that isn't deep-fried and lying on their plates) with coaching that can actually adjust to what's happening on the field (Hey! Let's mix up the playcalling!). I think his method is working.
Even the guys that have been here and failed are playing better than they ever have. Former whipping boys for me like Michael Jenkins and Jerious Norwood...it's like someone sat them down and showed them how to actually play football. So what we need to do is find that person, take up a collection, and get them some free gas or extra lap dances at the Pink Pony or something, because who knew that Michael Jenkins was worth a damn as a football player? For far too long, he's been that girl who was cute, but too big to have an exposed midriff. But this past offseason, her aunt came over and showed her that low-rise jeans mixed with a muffintop stomach wasn't cute. Now, she's catching touchdowns from guys who don't look to take advantage of a girl with low self-esteem. I just got lost in my own metaphor.
All in all, I think that we, as Falcons fans, can finally say goodbye to always being at the bottom of the barrel. We are no longer one of the teams that make the faces of other teams light up. We're now one of the teams with the lit-up faces. Before you know it, we'll have our back-to-back winning seasons and playoff runs, just like all the other teams that have had competent management. So, while this might be just a bit premature, let me thank Arthur Blank for finally realizing that just because Rich McKay is really good at math doesn't mean that he can build a football team.
The Falcons are now 5-3.
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