Dion Waiters doesn't have to stand for the National Anthem, and neither do you

I swear, y'all get so touchy about the wrong shit.

There's a story going around that Dion Waiters, shooting guard for the Cleveland Cavaliers, declared that he isn't standing for the National Anthem anymore, because of his religious beliefs.  He's a Muslim, and as we all know, Muslims hate America.  Well, we would all know that if we all did the right thing and watched Fox News.  

And as you'd expect, there's a whole lot of people mad at him, because reacting without knowing reasons is so commonplace in America that you'd think it was in the Constitution.  To let the folks I saw online tell it, we should all be offended that he hates America so much, and that he should go play in the Middle East if he loves Islam so much.  Only the most measured and reasonable responses go on the internet.  It's not like he'd stand for the National Anthem over there, either.

Now, as an old man, it isn't the first time I've seen this.  I remember when Chris Jackson, later known as Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf, of the Denver Nuggets (and hated Gulfport High School), did the same thing back in 1996, for the same reasons.  He eventually decided to stand and pray, as a way to, um...what's the word that means "meeting in the middle?"  Compromise.  You'll have to excuse me for forgetting the word, but it never happens in our culture anymore, so I haven't needed to remember it. 

But in the meantime, people went crazy, just like they're on the verge of doing now.  Insults, death threats, the whole nine.  And over the stupidest of reasons:  Over a song written by a slave owner who ironically didn't want his own freedom restricted.  And for a song about freedom, people out here sure are hell-bent on Dion Waiters not keeping his.

After all, it isn't a crime not to stand for the National Anthem.  It's a nationalistic custom that became codified, but no one ever goes to jail for this, and people refuse to stand for the National Anthem all the time.  Hell, I've personally refused to stand for the National Anthem before.  And it's not like there aren't things happening in America that give people reasons to feel like America isn't with them.  Dion Waiters is black and a Muslim.  Buddy's got a list.  

But he probably isn't doing it for those reasons, anyway (although he'd be justified).  It isn't some political statement that he's making.  Muslims simply believe (according to the Google research I did right before sliding into an endless vortex of Salon articles. There's one that explains why we have pubic hair. Pubic hair.) that they're not supposed to humble themselves or stand in veneration for anyone except Allah.  There's a lot I don't agree with when it comes to Islam, but I have no problem with that.  After all, they're trying to stay good with their omnipotent and eternal Creator, and you want to give them grief about a custom built up around a song written 200 years ago that'll probably be forgotten in another hundred.  When it comes to historical importance (from their perspective), you might as well be mad at them for not wanting to do the Schmoney Dance. 

And if you're a Christian (and most of you are claiming to be, because atheists really don't care that much), you probably should back up off all this anger, because your religion says something similar, all up in the Bible.  Yeah, revering this flag and song is tantamount to idolatry.  I'm an unrepentant heathen, and even I know that your God doesn't like that.  Come on now, you know that dude is jealous and angry.  You think he's gonna be reasonable about your nationalism?  I guess you could throw Romans 13:1 at me (Google it, like I did), but again, there's no authority that says you have to stand for the flag.  Just advisory rules that suggest how you observe the custom.  

Really, none of this means anything at all, because while Dion Waiters didn't stand for the National Anthem in Utah on Wednesday (he was still in the locker room), he did stand for it Friday night in Denver.  Waiters says that the story isn't true at all (might not even be a Muslim), and what's more likely is that he was pouting about being pulled from the starting lineup in Utah.  Waiters has been talking shit about how he should start from the minute LeBron said he was coming back to Cleveland, so I'm sure he wasn't happy about coming off the bench.  But I felt like I should address it, because I know how Americans like to overreact about meaningless things.  

It's what I get for insisting on reading the comments.  Never read the comments.

Shouldn't you worry about your own house first, Christians?

Note: This was written before a Muslim decided to shoot up a military base, but I still stand by it. Every Muslim you see isn't crazy and deranged. They don't all want to kill "non-believers."

There's no way in the world any Christian can claim that Islam is a religion of violence. Not while they're still a Christian, anyway.

Sure, if you interpret your God to be bloodthirsty, then yeah, you're gonna go around killing people in his name. But if you believe your God is a peaceful one, then you'll be a peaceful person. That's why every religious-based loon believes the scripture told him that he was doing the right thing.

The Klan uses the exact same Bible as everyone else to justify their hatred of other races. The job of the Christian Science Monitor is to back up the bigotry. So do the Skinheads. The Mormons. Fred Phelps. Even that little storefront minister in Arizona who wants the President to die. And that's without even bringing up historical atrocities, like the Crusades or American slavery.

It's laughable to be a Christian and accuse someone else's religion of being violent.

Yet, that's exactly what happens. Christians call Islam a violent religion all the time, in addition to calling it "false," as if that's going to hurt Islam's recruitment numbers. I don't know what makes a religion "legitimate," because it's not like there's a notary office for religions. If there was a some sort of verification process involved before priests could get their "faith license," then we wouldn't have half of the religions that we have. Like the Scientologists would have made it through.

And I assume that the people who call Islam "violent" don't actually know any Muslims. I do know a few Muslims and not one of them ever called me an "infidel." Not only that, they're 100% less explosive than the people seen on the news. They've never tried to take down a plane I've been on or driven any cars into markets. I don't even think they know the first thing about building a bomb. Like all sane people, they just wanna live their lives and be left the hell alone.

Islam isn't any more or less violent than Christianity is, but like Christianity, there are a group of dangerous and violent Muslims who are bound and determined to be a problem for everyone else. No different than the group of dangerous and violent Christians who kill in the name of God. If one is violent, then the other one is violent.

Christians will quote the Qur'an as proof of it's inherently violent ways, meanwhile ignoring the violent passages in their own book, the Bible. And really, without knowing the Bible inside and out, I can say with confidence that it's probably just as violent. The Old Testament alone is filled with stories of people getting killed by God and his followers. And I'm almost certain that at some point, followers are encouraged to kill non-believers. It's not a stretch, considering that everyone is to be stoned to death for almost every infraction. Christians spread their love through the power of rocks at high velocities.

People always invoke the example of Jesus when it suits them, as if the fact that he was a good man will outshine everything else. Let's be real: Jesus was a nice guy. The rest of the Bible is all messed up.

So Christians, let's not act like your book or your faith are sterling examples of peace that the rest of the world should follow, and you're certainly not in a position to call anyone else out. The Muslims I've met in MY life are all non-judgmental, peace-loving people, but I can't say the same thing about all the Christians I've ever met. Those same people who are always talking about loving God are quick to find a reason to kill someone else. Killing abortion doctors or politicians or Jews or Black people or whoever.

Does the Bible reference "hypocrisy," or better yet, "projection?" I'm just asking.

A Teddy Bear Named Mohammed

A British teacher in the Sudan has been arrested for letting her class of 7-year-olds name a teddy bear "Mohammed." The sentence for this crime can be 40 lashes, a year in prison, or a fine. This comes on the heels of a Saudi woman who was sentenced to six months in jail for allowed herself to be gang raped. After all, how dare this woman carry her well-covered vagina into a car with a man who wasn't a relative?

Muslims....can you see at all why the rest of us don't want to live under your Islamic Sharia law?

If I can get 40 lashes for mistakenly calling an inanimate object "Mohammed," or jail time for not being able to make other people control their own sexual urges, then I'll just ride this "Capitalistic White Devil Society" thing out. What other laws do you guys have over there that the less insane parts of the world haven't even considered yet? Is peeing on the seat punishable by castration? Is the punishment for drinking out of the carton having your house burned down?

At least America has laws that I can understand, like how you're not supposed to shoot people or stop at red lights. For lazy people like myself who require laws that don't make studying religious texts a pre-requisite, the land of the Great White Satan is the place to be. I can even understand why the Japanese once (and sometimes still do) prefer death to dishonor. I mean, I'd never do it because whatever happened, I'm sure I'd get over it, but if they want to jam a sword in their stomachs, more power to them. But getting offended at me for accidentally showing the bottoms of my shoes is ridiculous.

Apparently, the first commandment for Muslims is "Thou shalt overreact to all things non-threatening."

Allah loves us so much that he'd send the Prophet Mohammed (peace be unto him, because I don't want him using his otherworldly powers to destroy me) to saddle us with a legal system that doesn't allow for anything enjoyable, reasonable, logical, or sensible. It's like the Bible times 1000. It was named "Sharia" to take the edge off of it, because "Sharia" sounds like it might have sunshine and flowers in it. The first name they used was "The Anti-Common Sense Laws of Bloody Destructor Pain."

The charge for the "Satan's Insidious Teddy Bear Plot of 2007" relates to "insulting religion and inciting hatred." They're so right about that, because nothing makes me want to put a brick through the nearest skull than a plush stuffed animal.

It can soothe a child after their current nightmares, right before inciting the riot that sets off their next round of nightmares. Yea verily, the teddy bear is a versatile creation.

Maybe I just don't understand, because I'm an unbeliever, a heathen, AND an infidel. Perhaps something is lost in the translation between those who believe in God so much that they'd imprison a recently raped woman and my evil, hate-filled, Hell-bound brain. I just can't imagine that a God who claims to love us all would want me punished for naming inanimate objects "Mohammed," but is okay with exploding lunatics killing people in his name.

I think I'm going to start naming some of my things "Mohammed" to see how quickly I get struck down or my apartment gets burned down by easily offended Muslims in their quest for justice. When I get home, the first thing I'm going to do is turn on the Mohammed and watch some Mohammed. Then I'll look in the Mohammed to see if I have any Mohammed to drink, right before I turn on my X-Mohammed and play some Mohammed games.

Should I die in the next 24 hours, you'll know that this experiment didn't go well.

If any Muslims out there happen to read the above paragraph, please let me know how offended you were on a scale of 1 to Mohammed. If the rating is anything greater than negative one trillion, then it is further proof to me that somewhere in the Qur'an is a passage that says that you're not allowed to know that I'm joking. Clearly, there isn't one in there that tells you when your leaders are being stupid.