No Jokes Here

One look at the world today will show you your religions have failed.

Religion will not save us, you know. The world needs to see that there will never be a one world religion. There will be no one faith that "shows us the light." Why? Because you're all wrong. Your religions don't teach you to live in peace with others. Your religions don't teach you about love and togetherness. Your religions don't teach you about tolerance. Funny how the three major religions, all of which come from the "Holy Land," are the biggest perpetrators of violence against each other. That doesn't sound like "peace," "love," or "tolerance." Your also religions don't teach you about thinking for yourselves. Maybe it's time you started.

That's the only thing that will save us. The realization that there is no "us" and "them." We are all one here. The understanding that these labels you place on yourselves only limit who you are and who you can become. The knowledge that you are human FIRST and Christian, Jew, Muslim, conservative, liberal, Democrat, Republican, American, German, Russian, whatever...second.

These labels don't tell anything about who a person is, yet you give so much power to them, as if the fact that a person says he's Christian means that he's more trustworthy than someone who isn't. Just because you're both Christians doesn't mean he won't screw you over. Yet, these meaningless labels influence so many of your decisions without getting to the root of who that person is. It's why George W. Bush is in the White House. It's why the Ku Klux Klan is still active. It's the reason behind "white flight," or why people watch Arabs on the plane or why the young black male is STILL the most feared person in America. And knowing your attachment to these labels, it's makes you so much easier to exploit and manipulate. You fall so easily into the trap.

When are you going to wake up? It's just us here, regardless of what you believe in. This has nothing to do with God or whoever. It has everything to do with us. We have to make things right down here, because no being in the sky is going to do it for us. And when we die, it's not really going to matter what religion you were, or political party, or nationality, or anything like that. Who you were and what you did will. Who am I? I'm human. Let's start with that.

A Quick Word On The Oscars...

Just a quick comment on The Oscars...

First off, let me state that I didn't watch it. My sister called me to let me know that 'It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp" won an Oscar...and I'm really not sure how I feel about it. She told me that Three 6 Mafia performed the song (cuz they wrote it) and that all the black people in the crowd were loving these moments (and apparently, there weren't a lot of black people).

On the one hand, I'm glad that it was a rap song that won it. For better or for worse, this music is the music of my generation, and specifically, my demographic. And overall, I don't know which is more monumental: a rap song winning an Oscar or Halle and Denzel winning a few years back. Let's face it...black people were going to do that eventually, not to take anything away from what they've accomplished. It's just that no one ever thought a rap song would win an Oscar. Ya just didn't see it coming. So, I'm proud for my people. Black people doing good. We need to see more of that. On the other hand...

...the song was called "It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp," and I just have to question why THIS song had to be the one to win the Oscar and it had to be THESE black people who wrote and performed it. Has it been so long since "Tear Da Club Up," "Yeah, Ho," and "Gang Sign In His Face" came out?

Now, if I have to explain why I'm questioning it, you're either not black or not very smart. Of all the black movies with rap songs in them over the last 30 years, THIS was the breakthrough song?

I saw "Hustle & Flow." It was a movie that was way better than I thought it would be. I was actually inspired by the story and I don't really get inspired by much. The movie shows you to stick with it. It's never too late to follow your dreams. Uplifting damn movie. The song fits within the context of the movie, but when you take the movie away, it's just another song on the radio. The movie makes the song more than what it actually is, cuz let's face it, I heard better songs about pimpin' from Big Boi, back when he was pretending to be something he wasn't.

Then again, maybe that's the point. To have a song that's integral to the movie, so intertwined with the movie that each is a lesser product without the other. A song that helps you feel what the characters onscreen are feeling, and a song that you can't imagine being replaced by any other at that point in the movie. A song that instantly recalls in the listener's mind what was happening on screen at the moment the song was played.

You know, "Hoochie Mama" did the same thing for "Friday" and it didn't get an Oscar.

Samoa Joe sucks. Here's why.

There might be three of you out there who have heard of Samoa Joe, the Internet Wrestling Community's latest crotch to nuzzle. He's a decent enough wrestler, I guess. There's been some moaning about him almost signing with "The E (WWE)," and there's been speculation about whether or not he'd make it there. I say no and here's three good reasons why:

1. He wrestles too stiff.

2. He doesn't sell.

3. He's a bland Samoan with man-boobs.

Fact: Wrestling is entertainment. We're all grown here. I think we all know that...although I didn't want to admit it to myself, even into my teens. I mean...the suplex can really hurt someone! At any rate, the point here is, these guys are pretty big, yet they're not supposed to be hurting each other. Yes, there is some degree of pain (and I can speak on that personally), but it's not a real fight. So, either no one let Samoa Joe in on this fact or he's the biggest 12 year old the world has ever seen. This man hits people like he doesn't realize that he's in the middle of a homoerotic play-fight with other sweaty men. Now, most of his fans don't understand that shit hurts. They also don't care because they've never seen the inside of a ring and they've never had to stand there and let someone punch or kick them in the face and trust that person to not break their orbital bone. Personally, I don't see The E letting some no name Samoan beat up on all their stars like that and I don't see the holy trinity of Paul, Michael, and Mark (Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and The Undertaker) letting this guy stiff the shit out of them at any given time. Especially considering one of them has a barely working leg and plastic surgery in his nose to protect, one of them has a back held together by willpower and chewing gum, and one of them has hips so fragile that he could break one of them getting slapped on the ass at the strip club.
So, it's either change your style or forget about getting pushed, because The E isn't about to risk losing one of it's stars that its spent years building up to injury just so Joe can pretend that he never learned to protect his opponent. That's strike one.

Now...I've seen this guy wrestle a few times and never once have I seen this guy sell. Well, I take that back...he sells...like his name was Goldberg. See...one of the main points of wrestling is to make your opponent look good. How do you do that? By selling their offense. I guess he figures the best way to sell is to ignore the fact that his opponent just hit him in the face with the butt of a gun, or an axehandle. The funny thing to me is that the IWC loves Samoa Joe, even though he doesn't sell, yet when The Undertaker does it, he's an evil individual who's holding down the young talent, even though not selling is, you know...an inherent part of his character, being dead and all.

Now, do you really think that Triple H is gonna let this guy get away with no-selling his offense? How many times do you think he's going to be allowed to shrug off a chokeslam from The Undertaker? Yeah, you guessed right if you said "they'll set him up to take the fall for their steroid abuse before they let him do that." Strike two.

Lastly...now, look, I'm not saying you have to be in phenomenal shape to do this, although it helps. And Lord knows I'm the last person that should be allowed to criticize the shape someone's in, but dammit, he's just plain fat. The difference between me and him is that I know to keep my shirt on. The rolls in his man's stomach are made for drug smuggling.

Plus, he's got man-boobs. So does Ric Flair. The thing is...Ric Flair's like sixty years old. What sixty year old man hasn't begun to sag? There's only one...and his name's Hulk Hogan. And Hulk Hogan made his go away through strength, determination, and a $5500 check to Julio's Transmission Repair and Pectoplasty. So Ric Flair's okay with me. We love Ric Flair. Meanwhile, Joe's like...25 years old and engaging in regular physical activity. He's actually gained weight since he's come out. At this rate, he's going to be about 400 pounds by the age of 30. So you've got a fat Samoan with no charisma. You need to get some attention on him...might as well put him in a thong. It worked wonders for Rikishi and Yokozuna, remember? And they really tried with Rikishi...oh, how they tried. The E pushed him and pushed him, and even though he'd spent the previous two years dancing with two white guys who were a bigger embarrassment to hip-hop than K-Kwik and The Road Dogg. They gave him a huge heel push and took out all the stops...they said he hit Stone Cold Steve Austin with a car, they had him turn on his cousin, The Rock, and yet and still...no one took him seriously as a heel. You know why? Because he was a grown man in a thong, you retard.

This is Samoa Joe's WWE future. Get in shape, or else you'll have angles as stupid as Rikishi's to look forward to. And you're far more intimidating, although I can't tell if that's intensity or just a lack of charisma. That kinda stuff held Benoit back for years. And the WWE will always take a less talented guy who's in shape over a fat wrestling prodigy. That's why Chris Masters has a job and, Vic Grimes is begging for change on the side of the interstate. Strike three.

So until Joe decides to change a few things about himself, he's always going to be small time. Even if WCW was still around, they'd never let him hobnob with the stars. That's why Guerrero, Benoit, and Jericho abandoned the place. He would have been adored in ECW, but no one was making any real money there, because Paul E. sucked as a business man. That just leaves The E, and everyone changes when they go to The E. Resistance is futile. Or...you can resist, but you'll always be an Indy wrestler. And right now, Samoa Joe is probably the best Indy wrestler there is. That's not necessarily a good thing, either. Just ask Christopher Daniels.

The Once and Future Babcock

If you can walk in the rain without drowning, then you too, can be an NBA General Manager.

Apparently, the only requisites for consideration is that you have the sense that God gave birds and that you once held a basketball. Doesn't matter if you were humping it or drooling on it. Just hold it for a few seconds and you can apply. After you successfully navigate the dangerous rain, of course. All you need is a team owner dumb or desperate enough to take a chance on you.

Earlier today, New York Knicks General Manager Isiah Thomas traded Penny Hardaway and Trevor Ariza to the Orlando Magic for Steve Francis. I'm not knocking him for getting Hardaway off his roster, because even though he's one of my all-time favorite players, the man wasn't going to get them anywhere closer to .500 when he has the arthritis of an 80 year old man in his knees. And Trevor Ariza apparently fell out of favor with coach Larry Brown, who's been hailed as the savior (following previous saviors, Isiah Thomas and Stephon Marbury...and Latrell Sprewell...and Allan Houston). Forget his promsing talent or anything crazy like that. Who needs talent when you've got the highest payroll in sports to match the second to worst record in the league? Yes...and i take great joy in saying this...even the Hawks are better.

But I'm not knocking Isiah for trading them. I'm knocking him for taking on the EXACT SAME PLAYER as his starting point guard, Stephon Marbury! No one who isn't already suffering from a near-fatal head injury would have made that trade. There are only three people in the world who would have made a trade as stupid as that. Two of them are named "Babcock." The other actually did it earlier today. His name is Isiah Thomas.

I just don't understand what Isiah is trying to do up there. So you actually manage to get rid of an expiring contract (Hardaway's is up this year), only to take on one that's even higher for more years. And you take on a player who does all the same stuff your starting point guard already does (including shoot too much, dribble too much, not play enough defense, suck up your salary cap, and go around not being a real point guard). Not to mention, you just got done drafting the same player, only you left him in the dryer too long (5'9" Nate Robinson...Slam Dunk Thief...I mean, Champion). And then there's Jamal Crawford, who got traded from the Chicago Bulls for turning into the player that Marbury and Francis already are! AND, AND, AND...didn't Thomas just trade valuable inside presence (Antonio Davis) for yet another shoot-first point guard in Jalen Rose? That did just happen two weeks ago, didn't it?

Salary cap room? Bah! Draft picks? Take 'em, cuz he's completely sold on Rasho Nesterovic's and Greg Ostertag's upside! And under Isiah's watch, consistent, solid performances (Michael Sweetney) only get you traded for the exact same player, only fatter, less consistent, a worse rebounder and more risky (Eddy Curry and his heart that could stop beating with one well-placed elbow to the chest)! But, hey...Curry's got potential!

...five years into his playing career. But I digress.

You know what? Maybe I'm the one with the head injury. And if not, maybe i should get one so I can get paid to pretend that this is a game of NBA Street, where I can trade players with not a whit of thought about chemistry...sharing the ball...player variety...DEFENSE...need I go on? It's really not THAT hard to put an NBA team together and it's not that hard to identify a stupid trade when you see one. You know what a good trade would have been? If he could have swindled Philly into taking Hardaway and Ariza for Allen Iverson. What does a bad trade look like? The one your dumb ass just got done making.

Thank you for continuing to give me things to write about, Isiah Thomas. Your spectacular failures in the front office since retirement from the NBA are far more interesting. The only thing that would be more interesting is the inside dirt on WHY owner James Dolan hired you AFTER you bought the CBA and caused it to fold inside of a year...which happened after you ran the expansion Toronto Raptors and fired the first coach, who actually got them a pretty good record, so you could hire your boy, who sank them like they were wearing concrete boots. And who can forget the time you coached a promising Indiana Pacers team into mediocrity, after Larry Bird got done taking the same team to the NBA Finals...and directly before Rick Carlisle can within a game of doing the exact same thing?

You've been going down in flames since the moment you got to New York. I can't wait to see how all this ends. And how much further in debt you're going to put this team. Does anyone know if there's some sort of record of the highest payroll for a team in last place? Whoever's on top, Isiah's determined to take you over, winning records and fan attendance be damned.

Ralph Sampson's knees haven't worked right since 1987. He's well into his 50's. I heard Isiah wanted to sign him to a six-year deal for $50 million.

Swagger Jacker?

Jay-Z is such a biter. Let's face it. I think it's time to call a spade and spade. He calls himself "YOUNG Hova." He CLEARLY stole the word "YOUNG" from Young MC. And the letters "J" and "Z" were taken from Sesame Street.

There's been a lot of talk about Jay-Z over his career (well, since Biggie died) and whether or not he's a biter. Oh, he recites so many of Biggie's lines...oh, he took a line from Snoop, oh, he bit from this person, that person...who gives a damn?

First, Biggie was his friend and he's done more to keep that friend's name in the street than any one of these people who claim Jay is a biter. Being one of the most influential rappers ever, that's a pretty big deal. Personally, i see it as an homage to Biggie, not stealing from him. Or to Tupac. Or to Snoop. Or to Slick Rick. It's not like back in the day, when rap was still in it's infacy and there were just a handful of rappers around. It's not like Big Bank Hank from the Sugarhill Gang supposedly stealing an entire verse from Grandmaster Caz and passing it off as his own at a time when there were like...six rappers and they all lived in the same borough of New York.
Today, there's history to draw from and rappers today will take a line from another rapper and spin it off into a brand new verse, or take that line and change it, but the cadence is the same so it evokes the memory of that old verse. It's like inside jokes for hip-hop heads. Those who know the history will get it.

So to me, it's not a big deal. And if it is a big deal, then so is Snoop remaking "Lodi Dodi" or that CD "In the Beginning....There was Hip-Hop," where there were like 15 remade hip-hop classics by other rappers. The positive to all of this is, when it comes out where that line or song came from, people who love hip hop will either be reminded of the original song or those who don't know will want to hear it. And I think remembering the history of hip-hop is very important. Hip-Hop as a whole is treated as disposable music, and that so many classics get forgotten as soon as they leave the charts...well, that's a pretty bad thing.

What is a big deal is when you got someone like Cam'ron calling Jay-Z out on biting, when he's done the exact same thing in his songs. For anyone who's heard "Swagger Jacker," just know that there's a song circulating with Cam'ron doing the exact same thing. I think Cam's just mad because no one's quoting his nursery school rhymes, while Jay-Z's multiplatinum rap career took him from the Marcy Projects to the top spot at Def Jam. Sounds like hating to me.

To bottom line this, though...I'm not really concerned about supposed biting in hip-hop. And neither is anyone else. People just hate Jay-Z, which is fine. If they were really so concerned about biting, then where was the outrage when your current favorite rapper, 50 Cent took a verse from Tupac and recited it, almost verbatim in a diss track about Ja Rule and Irv Gotti? He wasn't creative enough to make the verse his own, like Eminem did, so he just recited the verse and said "G-Unit" and added more cuss words. So don't turn a blind eye to one and condemn the other. That makes you a hypocrite. And a hater. Like Cam'ron. And I'm sure all of you are better rappers than he is.

The NBAs 60 Greatest Players

Okay, so I'm looking at TNT right now and they're picking the next 10 to add to the NBAs 50 Greatest Players. The official list done by the NBA back in 1996 was pretty controversial in itself. In my mind, I thought the whole list was a sham because Shaquille O'Neal made the list and Dominique Wilkins didn't. People thought I was a hater at the time because I thought Shaq shouldn't have made it. And I'll argue anyone into the ground, through the crust, and down into the pits of Hell that Shaq shouldn't have been on that list. Even if Dominique STILL didn't make it, Shaq shouldn't have been on it. I would get into it, but that's not why I started this today. Aw, hell...I'll do it anyway. To bottom line all this, Shaq wasn't a great center yet. All he did was go to the low block and dunk. That's it. Fuck you and him if you disagree. If they made this list today, Shaq would be on it, though. And I'll argue anyone back through hell and into China on that point.

Anyway, what set me off on this tangent was just the suggestion that Gary Payton deserves to be added to the next 10. He'll probably be a Hall-of-Famer. Sure. That's fine. But to me, Gary Payton...I mean, anyone who saw those really good Sonics teams play knows that Gary Payton was the sidekick to the STAR that was Shawn Kemp. So basically...if Gary Payton makes it, then dammit, Shawn Kemp should be on it. When Seattle went to the Finals against the Bulls (and you KNOW I was watching) they got there on the back of Shawn Kemp.

Gary Payton has played in two NBA Finals. He's had two opportunities to play on the big stage. Once with Seattle in 1996 and once with the Lakers in 2004. And he has not had a memorable performance either time. In fact, not only has he been unremarkable in the Finals, he hasn't SHOWN UP at all. You know who showed up in 1996? Shawn f'n Kemp. You know who showed up in 2004? Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant (he showed up a little too much, if you know what I mean). Now, unless my spelling is really bad, neither of those names is Gary Payton.

You know what we really need? Okay, okay...what I really need? I need to get on one of these TV shows so I can argue these guys down about some of this ridiculous stuff they say. Gary Payton being a great player...Stephon Marbury being a great player...Emmitt Smith being better than Barry Sanders...Cal Ripken, Jr.'s streak being anything other what you're supposed to do...Mike Martz deserving to be a head coach instead of the career offensive coordinator that he is...why Michael Vick never needs to stay in the pocket...So basically, let's do this: let's get me a job on TV or radio or something, where I can tell these fools the way it really is.

You know what's impressive? Christian getting a good match out of Goldberg. Get me a job.

The Most Brilliant Thing I've Ever Heard

"See, if the Haves gave the Have-Nots half of what they have, then the Haves would still be the Haves, but the Have-Nots would be the Have-Somethings."

Redd Foxx as Fred Sanford. Think on that, you greedy motherfuckers.

Josh McRoberts is the next Kurt Rambis

Why are comparisons in sports so bad?

I fail to see the negatives. If I told you Adam Morrison was a great 6'10" forward from Gonzaga with crazy range, you'd stare at me blankly. If I told you Adam Morrison was the next Larry Bird, I'd suddenly have your attention. It's not like I'm saying that J.J. Redick (wrong size and type of game) or Rudy Gay (BLACK) is the next Bird. It's a white player with a very similar game and when you see him play, you put it together yourself.

It seems like every year, a player comes out who draws comparisons to another player who has come before and every year, people complain that we shouldn't do this. It's never going to stop because it's basic human nature to do this. Whaddya call it...association? If you see a player in a sport do things that remind you of another player you've seen before, you're going to automatically link the two. True, there have been times when the comparison made no sense (I still don't know how Harold Miner as "Baby Jordan" got started), but there are a lot of times where the comparison matches.

The first time I saw Kobe Bryant play, it was the worst case of "Single White Female" given life. This man looks like he studied Michael Jordan all the way down to his walk and mannerisms. Anyone who disagrees is clearly delusional. The only difference between these two mens' games is the fact that Kobe has hair on his head and Michael revolutionized sports advertising. That's about it.

So it's natural that I associate the two. Same height, same weight, same kind of player, same killer instinct. What's wrong with that? I'm not making up stuff to make the comparison fit...it's all right in front of you. What's wrong with comparing LeBron James and Magic Johnson? Two 6'10" point guards that make spectacular passes? Who else am I going to associate LeBron James with? World B. Free?

Vince Carter and Dominique Wilkins? Two 6'7" supertalents who can both jump out of the gym. Shaquille O'Neal and Wilt Chamberlain? Two massive 7 foot centers who were completely unguardable. Even though he hasn't shown the same defensive commitment, Lamar Odom draws Scottie Pippen comparisons all the time, because they are of similar build and skill set. It has given the Lakers a direction to push Odom into. The Lakers even hired Pippen to coach Odom. And Odom's no stranger to comparisons, because in high school, he was touted as the next Magic Johnson.

Some people think it's lazy to do this. I say it's the easiest way to get my point across. No one ever complains about this in music or TV or movies. No one ever says, "You shouldn't compare The Flintstones to the Honeymooners," even though one clearly aped the other. No one ever says, "You shouldn't compare Ja Rule, DMX, and 50 Cent to 2Pac," even though they are obvious clones (maybe the rappers in question don't like it...but fuck 'em. They shouldn't suck so bad). The thing is, until these players get their own identity, it's just going to be like this. They're going to have the identities of others thrust upon them. Hell, I compare my own nephew's game to Allen Iverson's. If you saw him play, you would, too. When growing up, no matter what you're into, you always imitate those you look up to. Until you get experienced enough to stand on your own, it's what you do. Ask any professional at anything and he or she always had someone they molded themselves after. Who didn't spend hours on the court trying to relive those Michael Jordan highlights?

Don't tell anyone, but I still do it. The six three pointers against Portland in the 92 Finals. It always sticks with me.

Some have brought up the racial aspect. White players are always compared to Bird, black players are always compared to...well, everyone else. There's nothing wrong with that, either. For one, it's no secret that the NBA and white America both want a great white player. Since Bird retired, college ball has been the last home of the dominant white player. Okay, except for Dirk Diggler. Everyone's looking for the next Larry Bird. The point, though, is that people wouldn't compare unless they were simliar. No one ever put Brent Barry and Michael Jordan together. "But they're both athletic two-guards!" the idiots say. Yeah, but nothing about skinny, pasty white Brent Barry ever made me think, "man, if that isn't the second coming of MJ." You put together what's similar. Even kids who haven't yet learned bladder control know that.
So don't feel bad when the analysts tell you you're wrong for comparing players. Tim Legler and Bill Walton are just mad that no one's comparing anyone to them.

Larry Bird, The Best Player of the 80s

He was the ultimate white player on the ultimate white team in the ultimate white city in a time when the white player was quickly becoming obsolete. The white player in basketball was supposed to be over and done with. This was the black man's game now.

Thing is, no one told Larry Bird.

I was a kid when Larry Bird was showing his ass all over the NBA. At that time, I was a Sixers fan, because my dad was a Sixers fan. I wasn't really watching basketball then. I didn't find out about the Celtics/Sixers rivalry until I got much older. I didn't have any Larry Bird memories. All I know is I couldn't stand Larry Bird or the Boston Celtics. As a kid, we'd talk about how the Boston Celtics were the ugliest team in basketball (and they were)...I mean, come on...they had a black man with freckles!

No one liked Bird or the Celtics outside of Boston. Everywhere I went, I never heard a positive word about Bird's Celtics. Mostly from black people. Why didn't we like him? Because for all our black dominance of the NBA, we couldn't stomach the fact the best player in the NBA was a white guy and that he took his white team to the championship on a regular basis.

See, all our heroes in the NBA at that time were flashy players. Players who represented US. Dr. J, Magic Johnson, Dominque Wilkins. There was no way anyone could beat these guys. Except Larry Bird, who dominated them all, lit up the scoreboard in their faces and won championships over ALL of them. Magic Johnson was a great point guard and the ultimate winner of the 80s.
But there was one player who could go toe-to-toe with him and it was Larry Bird. And when those two went at it, even though it was never said, it was always a racial thing. Even if you didn't like the Lakers, you wanted Magic to beat Larry. I mean, come on...the guy's white. You can't let that white boy beat you, Magic. He wasn't just white. He was white and slow. White and awkward. White and ugly. He was ugly, his game was ugly. It didn't flow. It didn't come natural like ours did. He couldn't jump. He had an ugly left handed shot. He wasn't Magic, he wasn't Doc and he wasn't Nique. He wasn't Bernard King. He wasn't Isiah Thomas. He didn't do any of the stuff that the black players did. He just won. The nerve of that guy.

Even after watching Larry Bird go shot-for-shot with Dominique in Atlanta in the playoffs, or watching Larry routinely eliminate the Sixers from the playoffs, we still couldn't admit to ourselves that the best player in the NBA was white. Had Larry's career lasted a few more years, we probably would have justified the belief that the best player in the NBA was black. Maybe. Michael Jordan was coming up just as Bird was going down. Bird was still managing to win, though...even if his back didn't work anymore. Unfortunately for us, Michael never really got the chance to beat the Celtics in the playoffs.

The most hated player and the most hated team in the league were hated because they were both white. It just wasn't right, dammit. Not the fact that they were hated over their skin color...it wasn't right because white players shouldn't be dominating a black sport.

Well, now we should be used to it. We pretty much are used to it, because people love Dirk Nowitzki. Dirk Diggler, we call him. And he comes from a place even whiter than French Lick, Indiana or Boston. Germany. And that place is as white as it gets. And coming along through the college ranks are Duke's J.J. Redick (the most hated player in college athletics) and Gonzaga's Adam Morrison (the heir apparent to Larry Bird).

J.J. Redick is probably the deadliest shooter in the nation and Adam Morrison is the best player in college basketball. They don't get nearly the amount of hostility that Larry Bird seemed to get in the 80s (well, Redick does...but his comes mostly from other white people...and UNC fans). I guess we've finally learned to admit to ourselves that white people can play this game, too.
And now we can admit to ourselves that the best player in the 80s was Larry Bird. Except in Philly. It'll probably never happen there.

If you don't believe Larry Bird was the best (in the 80s), then name me one better. Go ahead. I dare you.

Rick Majerus/Rudy Gay

In one of those classic TV moments, ESPN College Basketball analyst Rick Majerus was speaking in reference to the merits and talent of Connecticut shooting guard Rudy Gay:
"You know, I'm not a big Gay guy..."

Whether or not Majerus realized exactly what he just said, Steve Lavin started snickering right on camera. You just can't make this stuff up.

Kamala Sings...

Jesus F'n Christ. Kamala, the Ugandan Giant has put out a CD. Yeah, I'll let that sink in. And no, I'm not making that up.

I'm pretty sure a good number of you out there know who Kamala is. For anyone who has ever watched wrestling, you have probably caught a glimpse of a black man with a gut that hangs over his waistline in a skirt with a painted face and two stars painted on his man-boobs and a crescent moon on the aforementioned gut. As a means of emotional expression, he'd dance around and slap his stomach. He was last mentioned on TV in 2002, being mocked by The Rock. Well, that was the last time I cared to see him. Or see any reference of him.

Not since "Macho Man" Randy Savage put out his rap CD of songs basically devoted to calling out Hulk Hogan to at long last, "settle the score,(incidentally, I've been watching wrestling for a good 20-plus years and I've NEVER seen Savage pin Hogan...I'd say the score has long since been settled) has the wrestling industry had an embarrassment of this magnitude. Seriously. When all the steroid and cocaine related deaths and criminal trials and anytime Jake Roberts' name is mentioned on TV...when the dust has settled on all of that...THESE are the moments the general public remembers and will throw in MY face when it comes up that I like wrestling. Yes...Macho Man's voice that sounds like he swallowed a mug of broken glass and hot sauce, coming through the radio bellowing, "HOGAN!!! BE A MAN!!!!" And apparently, the humiliation isn't over because Kamala is going to SING...and it will only get worse if he actually gets airplay. As proof that I am not making this up (although I'm hoping that SOMEONE is), you can check it all out for yourself at http://www.thegiantkamala.com/.

I haven't listened to any of the samples yet, but I dunno...any CD that has his face on the cover isn't going to make me rethink playing that Brian McKnight CD when I want to set the mood. I could be wrong. Maybe he can sing. Maybe it's a very touching, moving, sensual, or sexy CD.
But I doubt it. I wouldn't put money on it going platinum. For fans of Kamala, don't look for the Kamala World Tour '06 to kick off next summer. And should I be wrong about that (and from a pure humor standpoint, I'm kinda hoping I am), don't expect a pile of panties all over the stage when you go to the shows. Then again, Teddy Pendegrass was STILL getting panties thrown at him, even after he was confined to a wheelchair. No one ever accused Jeffrey Osborne or Alexander O'Neal of being lookers, either...but they GTD*, too.

And finally, to drive my personal humiliation home (in addition to him being a black wrestler that I was ALWAYS embarrassed by)...the mailing address for your check or money order to be sent to is in Mississippi. Claude Jevemus.

At least John Cena has SOME talent. With the long list of musical wrestlers out there, (K-Kwik, Road Dogg, Chris Jericho, Honky Tonk Man), I never thought I'd see this name added to the list. Then again, Macho Man's on there. I guess all bets are off. What's going to be next?

Keep your eyes peeled for the much-anticipated Greg "The Hammer" Valentine/Ultimate Warrior collabo, coming to a National Guard Armory near you. Funky Fresh in '06 fo' you SUCKAZ....

* - Got The Draws, for the uninitiated.

Quick Hit On Our Alleged War

Could someone please tell George W. Bush that the only way that the USA can win this war is to kill everyone in the region? It's hard to win hearts and minds when people are running at you with bombs. I think it's pretty safe to say that a good number of troops in the area realize that. Sure we want to support them and I think it's safe to say that everyone does. It's the alleged leadership that we don't support. There is no "Blame America First" crowd. There's a "Blame Bush" crowd, though. There's a crowd of people out there who realize that being in Iraq has nothing to do with the supposed "War on Terror." And when are you people going to realize that you can't wage war on a concept? How do you beat an enemy that isn't in a centralized location? That's like the War on Drugs. How did that one go for you? But, like the War on Drugs, there are too many people making money off of this (or very soon will be). The War on Terror will never end. It creates an atmosphere of fear because you never know where these terrorists will strike next. But don't stop spending money, because when you do...the terrorists win. And when you create that atmosphere of fear, people will listen to any mongoloid who claims to have a plan. And here is your mongoloid. America, I introduce to you...George W. Bush.

by Thad...who said long ago that nuclear weapons should have been dropped on this region decades ago...including Israel...cuz they're not helping anything. Yeah, I said it. And take out France and Eastern Canada while you're at it.

Bow Wow vs. Will Smith

I know Will Smith probably doesn't even care, but I do.
Bow Wow was recently interviewed by XXL and he made the following comments (emphasis mine):

”But to me, honestly Will wasn’t like a real rapper.”

”He was more like a gimmick. Then he zapped in to get a TV show, and it was on and poppin’. Then after that he was in Hollywood. So things came easy for him. With me, I’m a rapper. I ain’t with the whole colorful cornball type things. That’s just not my style.”

”Will [Smith] can act, but he does more of those blockbuster Hollywood movies, which I wanna do. But also I wanna do it like Denzel-movies that really mean something. I feel like I can definitely be better than him.”

Someone out there might read this and wonder what I'm so upset about. It's true, they might say. Will Smith did a lot of corny shit in his rap career, they might say. And he did. It's true. It's not like "Parents Just Don't Understand" or "I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson" are serious hip-hop fodder. No one's riding to "Gettin' Jiggy Wit It" or "Boom! Shake The Room."

My thing is, who the hell is Bow Wow to say anything about Will Smith? This boy was literally shitting his diapers when Will Smith came out. Back in 1987, it was a different hip-hop world. When Will Smith came out (as the Fresh Prince), rappers weren't afraid to smile and dance and have fun. Rappers weren't so image conscious and everyone wasn't a fake gangster. Everyone was colorful back then...or am I the only one who remembers Cross Colours? It was okay to be silly back then. That's why you had acts like Kid N Play or Biz Markie or Kwame or DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Every one of them is considered corny now, but back then...it was just different.

To say that Will Smith wasn't a real rapper is a slap in the face. Wasn't he the first rapper to receive a Grammy? Didn't he pave the road that so many rappers commonly drive their Bentleys down today? How many other rappers have had such a successful television show? How many other rappers have had such a successful movie career? Let's recap...first rapper to win a Grammy (and I don't think they even had a hip-hop category back then), first rapper to have a successful television show (if I remember correctly), executive producer credit on said show, first rapper to have a successful movie career (because the Fat Boys aren't still getting royalty checks for "Disorderlies.") It can be argued that Kid N Play did it first, but the minute Kid N Play tried to play characters not named Kid N Play, their film career was over (see "Class Act").

Will Smith also gets paid $20 million dollars a picture and has had very few busts at the box office. And really, it was just Wild, Wild, West. Will Smith has continued to reinvent himself time and time again, to keep up with modern day trends, and i know this because more than a few people liked that song "Miami" he did and yes, some of them were black. "Switch" and "Will 2K" were hits and even "Wild, Wild, West" got heavy rotation when it was out (and personally, I like that song). He's one of the few rappers from the late 80s who is still relevant now. It's Will Smith and LL Cool J. And LL's career finally ended right after "Luv U Better" stopped getting airplay (and even LL used to make silly songs back then...or am I the only one who remembers "Milky Cereal" and "Big Ol' Butt?")

And I don't care what anyone says, the ultimate summer anthem is STILL "Summertime."
And for those who get on Will Smith for his subject matter, let me say this...Will Smith is one of a small group of rappers who can rap about having money, because he really has money. Not made up money. Not money that still has to be paid back to the record company. And he doesn't feel the need to wear "bling," because like REAL rich people, he doesn't have to.

And he's married to Jada Pinkett. I'm jealous beyond words. But I digress.

Now, let's get to this...Bow Wow. First things first, he got in with his name beiing a spinoff of another rapper's name. Way to be your own man, kid. Bow Wow's not even real words. That's onomatopoeia. And does he have a hit that Da Brat didn't write? His best selling album was his first, it went double platinum and Da Brat wrote every word of it. The follow up went platinum and Da Brat wrote that one, too. The title of his movie debut, "Like Mike" is an excellent metaphor for his music career, "Like Snoop Dogg and Da Brat."

You can't call yourself a rapper if you don't write your own lyrics. Puffy knows this, that's why he doesn't call himself a rapper. And for a kid who calls himself "Bow Wow" to call another person corny...that's takes gall. The unmitigated kind.

I can't believe the nerve of this guy who's never put out an album without a ghostwriter, who's never had a song that was played the next year, let alone a certifiable classic. He talks about Will Smith, yet Will Smith put him on the Wild, Wild, West soundtrack. Yeah, Bow Wow sounds really grateful. Will Smith was the first rapper to successfully do a lot of the things these rap cats are trying to do now. Everyone out there is trying to follow in Will Smith's footsteps, from DMX to Bow Wow and most of them can't get a good show, let alone a good movie. I'm not gonna lie and say that he's a great rapper, but he's certainly a pioneer in hip-hop and deserves to be respected. Especially by someone who'll be forgotten by the time he can grow a full beard.

My take on...

Every so often, I have some partial thoughts about different things going on in the world. Here's what I think about certain people in the sports world. My take on....

...Michelle Wie.

I don't remember her ever proving she could beat her fellow 14-year olds, let alone a grown man. Let me know if she ever starts dominating her peers. She better do it quick before she ruins her confidence and her career. That can only lead to the cover of Hustler, where she'll get paid just enough to keep her heroin addiction going for three more months.

...Sean Salisbury:

The man was a quarterback for what, two and a half weeks back in 1994? He's full of good advice that he himself could have used back during his playing day. Maybe if he had taken some of it, he would have been, y'know...relavant. Gus Frerotte was one his peers and I remember him. Why couldn't I remember Sean Salisbury?

...Kobe Bryant:

There's absolutely nothing wrong with playing EXACTLY like Michael Jordan, except in Queens, where they call that "holding his dick in public."

...Magic Johnson:

Magic Johnson doesn't have HIV, unless HIV's secret side-effect is to make you gain weight. You know who really has HIV? Larry Bird. The man started deteriorating as soon as Magic made his annoucement.

...Michael Wilbon (from PTI):

He wants to hard to be recognized for being edgy and mean and so tough on these sports guys. He wishes he could be viewed as the angry black man, but we all know that's not the case. His righteous indignation from atop his moral high horse is so cute, though. He's probably married to a white woman.

...Tony Kornheiser (from PTI):

I love this man. He deserves an entertaining co-host. I was hoping Stephen A. Smith would have gotten it, but he's decided that a studio audience was the way to go.

...Stephen A. Smith:

I believe he passionately HATES Kevin Frazier (the old host of the NBA stuff on ESPN), which is why he's the OLD host of the NBA stuff on ESPN.

...Tom Jackson (ESPN football analyst):

Few things in life are funnier than the look on this man's face when Michael Irvin or Steve Young dare to challenge the all knowing wisdom of Tom Jackson. Whenever he gets upset at them, you can almost see him wistfully look back to the days when it was just he and Chris Berman...alone. It's almost like when the slaves would start identifying with the slavemaster. I expect his name to become Tom Berman by this time next year.

...Shannon Sharpe:

He was an great tight end (the gayest thing I've said since last Wednesday), but when was the last time YOU were able to get a job because your brother was good-looking and well spoken?

...Phil Jackson:

I want to fuck his wife. I settled for paying him money for his book.

...Terrell Owens:

If I had paid full price for my jersey I'd be really pissed at him for making it so I can't wear it again for a while.

...Emmitt Smith:

I could have gotten 2000 yards a season with that offensive line. Note that as soon as they were gone, you didn't hear a word out of Emmitt Smith. Hell, Warrick Dunn is good for at least a G and he's got a terrible offensive line. If Barry Sanders had Emmitt Smith's line, he would have rushed for 4000 yards a season.

...Barry Sanders:

The greatest running back I've ever seen. Broke more ankles than Kathy Bates and half the time, he was the only one on the field with a Lions jersey on. Certainly, no one was blocking for him. If I were him, I'd hate Emmitt Smith. In fact, I do hate Emmitt Smith.

...Vince Carter:

Tim Legler declared this man's career was over. I've never met VC, but I knew he still had it just from the four games I saw him in over the last three years before the trade. You'd think Tim Legler would understand how Vince was feeling, seeing as how he NEVER played on a winning team.

...Penny Hardaway:

I believe the man could still give you 15 and 9. But he'll never get the chance because Stephon Marbury clutches the ball so tightly to his bosom you'd think his crack stash was in there.

...Frank Thomas:

The minute he stopped being productive, the White Sox got good. That has got to sting a little.

...Tom Brady:

Much like Mr. Smith, with a line like that, even Sean Salisbury could give you 300 yards and 4 touchdowns a game. This is probably the most overrated quarterback in history. He's a good quarterback, but you're seeing now that he doesn't will his team to victory. I've seen Brett Favre get a sub-par team into the playoffs (last year's Packers). Brady doesn't seem too up to the job. He's the beneficiary of a well timed injury and the most balanced football team EVER. And also the Bush Administration's rigging of the 2002 Super Bowl.

...Drew Bledsoe:

Inventor of the Tom Brady Voodoo Doll and probably has tried to cut Tom Brady's brake lines more than once. Those years he was exiled to Buffalo were brutal. I forgot he was still playing.

...College Football:

The most worthless sport ever in human history. I'm still upset that Nebraska and Penn State never got to play in 1994. Turned me completely off to college football.

...College Basketball:

Now THAT'S how you decide a champion! Unfortunately for me, it won't be North Carolina this year. Two times this year, I'm going to be on the brink of tears. Both times, Duke will be on the floor against UNC.

...Scott Norwood:

Jay Feely's performance on Sunday made Scott Norwood smile just a little.

...Craig Kilborn and Keith Olbermann:

It's time for the prodigal sons to return. They need to save Dan Patrick. That man is so bitter and cynical these days that I think it's time for an intervention.

...The Philadelphia Eagles:

I knew letting Duce Staley leave would bite them on the ass.

...Steve Mariucci:

Probably got fired for trying to end the "Joey Harrington Experiment." I swear, Harrington must have embarrassing pictures of Matt Millen in his house. Matt Millen must have embarrassing pictures of the Lions' owner in his. Doesn't Matt Millen look like the dad from Varsity Blues?

...USC:

Due to the farcical nature of College Football, USC is as credible a champion as Triple H.

Blind Patriotism

I know these are all old issues, but it was on my mind last night. Screw you. This is MY blog.

Last time I checked, blind patriotism is for idiots. Things like that lead to police states and unquestioned lords and masters of the world. Is that what you want?

It was a scary time when people accused others of not being patriotic when they dared question His Holiness George Dubya, the Second. Am I the only person who heard about the phenomenon that was McCarthyism?

For those who would tell me that I should love it or leave it (in reference to the USA...usually white people do this), if I didn't love it, I wouldn't care what others do to it. I criticize it because I love it. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else in the world, but the state that this country (and the world) is in right now scares me. People who think that you shouldn't be criticizing the country or whatever else clearly can't take criticism well. Either that, or they're doing something they have no business doing.

Look at it like this, if your friends or your family was doing something wrong, you'd tell them they were wrong, right? You know, to look out for them; to keep them out of trouble. Or as the brothers used to say, "off the illa path." Nah, I'm the stupid one. Turns out you were really just anti-family and friends, because you dared have the temerity to have an alternate viewpoint.
For those who believe that I should fight for my country's freedom...you're absolutely right. I should. And when we went into Afghanistan, I was 100% in support of it. You figure, if Osama's the one who really did it, and you know he's in Afghanistan, it doesn't make too much sense to look for him in, say....Cambodia. You should probably go to Afghanistan. If they had drafted me to go there, I would have been upset, but I would have understood.

But...don't tell me that I should go to Iraq and fight. Much like Vietnam, it's a skirmish that people can't even find a competent defense for anymore. Everyone wants to get out of there now. Personally, I believe Bush should have been impeached for it and Cheney thrown in jail, because I know that if I had done something like that, I would have been impeached at the least and most certainly would have been thrown in jail.

You people wanted Clinton's head for getting some head, but you let this clown slide on getting us involved in a war against a country that was no threat to its neighbors, let alone a country about 6000 miles away and about 50 times greater in size.

Eddie Guerrero died last week of heart troubles, but Dick Cheney is still alive and kicking. God bless the Devil that Cheney sold his soul to.

Civil Liberties

On ESPN today, there's a report about fans at NFL games complaining and suing because they don't want get patted down before they enter the stadium. To these people I say, shut the fuck up.

For the last three and some change years, people have been complaining about airport security (it's been really bad here in Atlanta). To these people I also say, shut the fuck up.

This is what you wanted, America. Don't get mad about it now. You put those jokers in Congress and you put that retard back in office. You supported that administration when he started pushing the Patriot Act. It was okay for authorities do whatever they wanted to root out those evil Arab bastards. It wasn't until they started searching YOU that YOU started complaining. I don't wanna hear it. Just shut up.

Why, they're just doing what they have to do to keep the peace. Remember that when they're tapping your phone or kicking your door in.

Stephon Marbury

Stephon Marbury is the best point guard in the NBA.

Bitch, please.

Stephon Marbury isn't the best point guard in the state of New York. Isiah Thomas could step on the court TONIGHT and be a better point guard. Larry Brown, replaced hips and all, could show Marbury a thing or two about being a point guard. Penny Hardaway can still manage a team better than Marbury. I'd pick whoever's starting at St. John's this year over Marbury. I'll even go so far as to say that if they took the train over to Brooklyn, they could find a better point guard in the middle of some streetball game.

He isn't the best point guard even amongst shooting guards and small forwards. Who does this guy think he is? And why does this man have fans? Now let's be fair: I don't know anything about this guy outside of what he does on the court. He might be a nice guy. When it comes to his game, though...this guy is overrated.

If he's so good, why have I never seen this man on a winning team? He's not like Mitch Richmond. Mitch was a great shooting guard who never had a serviceable team built around him, let alone a winning team. Marbury, on the other hand? He didn't make GA Tech any better when he was there. When he got to Minnesota, he was practically giftwrapped a future championship when he teamed with Kevin Garnett. He was traded to New Jersey where he would eventually team with Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin, yet the team languished in the East's cellar...until Marbury was traded. Then, that same team went to the NBA Finals with new point guard Jason Kidd. His new team, the Phoenix Suns, had Shawn Marion and Penny Hardaway and would draft Amare Stoudamire. This team would languish in the West's cellar and struggle to make the playoffs before Hardaway and Marbury were traded to the Knicks. That Suns team wouldn't do anything at all until the next year...when new point guard Steve Nash signed there. Then that exact same team would win 62 games and go to the Western Conference Finals.

Does that sound like a winner to you? Sure, he's talented, but he's never made anyone else better. In fact, I have a personal belief that his ball-hogging has ruined the latter part of the career of Penny Hardaway. His style of play has never benefitted anyone other than himself, and he's the point guard! It's his JOB to make others better! Some people might say, "but he's a scorer!" or "he's never had good players around him; he doesn't have anyone to pass to!"
That's a load of crap. I present exhibit A: Allen Iverson. Drafted the same year and at two inches shorter, this man dominated the league in scoring and carried a team of no-names to the NBA Finals in 2001. He was/is also a shoot first point guard who didn't make anyone better, but he was always a dominant scorer. So he was moved to shooting guard and somehow began to make guys like Aaron McKie and Eric Snow better from that position, by drawing defenses and finding the open man. Last year, he was moved back to point guard and had his best season, as he had good players around him and while they struggled, they got better as the season went on. This year, he's putting up insane points and assists numbers in this early season, and helping Chris Webber resurrect his career (he's looked better here than he has in about two or three years) and helping Al2 (Andre Igoudala) blossom into a star in his own right.

Allen Iverson had NO good players around him, and willed his team to the Finals. Why can't Marbury do that? You know why? Because he's not as good as advertised. He's not a dominant scorer (he's a good scorer, though) and he doesn't always find the open man. He doesn't draw defenses because you know that he's not that great of a shooter so you can play off of him and when he drives to the basket, he's going to force something stupid, rather than find the open man (like a real point guard). He's the ultimate me-first player in the NBA and represents almost everything that I find wrong with today's game. Yes, he's got deadly handle with the ball, but what NY point guard doesn't? Yeah, he's quick, but so is Nate Robinson. There's nothing exceptional about his game, especially now, since he doesn't dunk anymore.

So if you have a guy who doesn't make his teammates better, doesn't put up an overwhelming amount of points, doesn't will his team to victory, doesn't pass, doesn't even do anything spectacular to give the fans a reason to watch...what's the point in even playing him? And why has no one ever called him out on claiming to be the best PG in the NBA? Especially when Jason Kidd and Steve Nash still draw breath. Two men who took his old teams (in their entirety) deep into the playoffs. And he has the nerve to suggest that HE'S the best? The best at what? Has he ever played on a winning team?

Surprisingly, yes. Once in 2003-04. Phoenix won 53 games. And Minnesota was 25-25 in the lockout season. He only played 18 of those games before he was shipped to New Jersey, though. Terrell Brandon would take over at PG the next season and they'd start their streak of consecutive playoff appearances. I completely forgot about that one.

Is it all worth it, New York? Personally, I would have kept Charlie Ward.

Celebrity Deaths

Eddie Guerrero died on Sunday and I got pretty upset about it. I wasn't openly sobbing or anything, although I did shed a tear or two. I was depressed at work and Tuesday morning, when I came home, I couldn't bring myself to watch the Raw episode dedicated to him. It's 1:30 am, Wednesday morning and I still haven't watched it. I'm not ready.

Why is that? I've never met Eddie Guerrero. I've seen him in person once, but that was from about 50 yards away and he was busy kicking the crap out of Chris Jericho. I've never spoken with him, but I have seen him cut a lot of wrestling promos over the years. He's never heard any of my opinions, though.

Yesterday, I was thinking about it all. Why do we feel such a closeness with celebrities? We don't really know these guys behind closed doors, although in a lot of cases, after they're gone their friends say all kinds of kind words about them. In Eddie's case (hell, I even refer to him by his first name, like he's my boy), no one has yet to say a bad word about him. Not even the Honky Tonk Man, and that guy has dirt on everyone and isn't afraid to let the world know about it.
We can't really hang out with them, because celebrities tend to be busy people. Even if you bump into them at a club or bar or something, chances are you won't get to have an involved conversation with them. They've got beer to drink, people to flirt with, lawsuits to fight...basically, they've got shit to do and if even if they weren't busy, they just don't know you. These are people who tend to be private with their personal lives and with good reason. The National Enquirer's mission is NOT to show the world that Brad Pitt's heart is filled with cuddly puppies and butterflies.

It just baffled me that I was so upset over the death of a person I'd never even had a conversation with. Logically, this just doesn't make sense to me. I mean, I know who he was and what he did and things like that, but...he wasn't a family member. He wasn't a friend. If I walked past him on the street, he wouldn't know who I was from you. I remember when Kurt Cobain died and my peers (well, white folks my age) were killing themselves because he was dead. It just didn't make sense to me why they'd do that. He wouldn't do it for them. All he was was a person who made music and spoke in a voice that those kids could understand and relate to when no one else could or would. Well, maybe that's it. Maybe he made them feel like they weren't alone in the world and when he was gone, suddenly they were alone again. With his death, they didn't have that person who understood what they felt inside or what they were going through. Not that Eddie and I have the same experiences or he knows what I'm going through, but to me, as a wrestling fan, he gave me inspiration and excitement and humor and drama and his heart and his soul.

Professional artists or athletes give you parts of their inner being when they create or perform. I read someone saying that when it's done right, wrestling is an artform. Eddie Guerrero was one of the best artists the world has ever known. Watching him in the ring drew emotions out of me. When he's do something underhanded and get away with it, he'd give this mischevious grin and it made me give the same grin, like we shared an inside joke that no one else knew about. When he "quit" WCW on Nitro, I felt some of his anger when he cut his promo, because we both knew he was capable of more than he was allowed to do. Even when he was bad, he was hard to hate and when he was good, we loved him even more. Through his actions in the ring, we caught some of his true personality and we felt a connection to him. The more we saw him, the closer to him we felt. Now that he's gone, our lives feel that much more empty.

And since we won't get to see him perform anymore, that's why we feel that we've lost a friend. I guess.

Eddie Guerrero

Eddie Guerrero died today.

I really don't know what to say about all of it. One of my favorite wrestlers has died today. Obviously, I was shocked and shaken by it. He was only 38.

I was really hoping that it was a misprint or something. This had happened before. I remember when the internet had proclaimed that Viscera had died a few years ago. Clearly, that wasn't the case as he's on TV right now. Sure, WWE.com was reporting this, but they've unintentionally posted things before, too.

I was also hoping that it wasn't due to a drug overdose or something like that. Eddie has had problems with that sort of thing before. He got fired from the WWF, went to rehab, cleaned himself up and came back. He won the WWE title. He had been sober for about four years now. As a wrestling fan, we've had to deal with this sort of thing a few times, most notably, Brian Pillman, who also died in a hotel room in Minneapolis, hours before a big show. The thing with Eddie is that he's a favorite with many. He's one of the best in the world. And he cleaned himself up, changed his life, came back to wrestling and rose to greater heights than ever. Casual fans had begun to recognize what the hardcore fans had known all along. Eddie Guerrero is one of the best wrestlers they'd ever seen. I remember when Eddie came to the WWF in 2000, with Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, and Perry Saturn. I said then that Benoit would win the title and Eddie would be the guy who deserved to have it, but wouldn't get it. Out of that group of four great wrestlers, I felt he would be best of the four. I feel that he has been, to this day.

As far as the drugs go, I guess I just don't want the cause of death to be a drug overdose. I can deal with something natural. I can digest that. But I don't want one of my favorites to have died a junkie. And to think that he might have done that after all he'd been through angers me. Writing this, it's starting to dawn on me that it's been bothering me all day. I teared up as I typed those words, "died a junkie." Over the last few years, I've grown to hate junkies in wrestling. Another of my favorites died a few years ago of a drug overdose, Curt Hennig. When that happened, it barely fazed me. He knew the risks when he put that shit in his body and he suffered his fate. I miss him, but...that was his choice. I don't want to be mad and cold and uncaring with Eddie like I was with Curt. And I guess that's what hurts, that I might have to be.
After learning of his death, I decided to watch my tape of Smackdown. I work nights, so I have to tape wrestling, but I hadn't watched Smackdown regularly in a year or so. But out of the blue, I decided to tape it this past Friday, just to see what was going on. I planned to tape over it on Monday. Now that tape has a new meaning, because it contains Eddie's last televised match. And it wasn't a great match. He seemed to be a little disinterested in what was going on. It was Smackdown, though. He was wrestling Ken Kennedy. I didn't expect it to be Guerrero/Mysterio all over again. It has a funny ending, though, where he banged a chair against the mat when the ref wasn't looking, but he could hear it. Just before the ref turned around, he tossed the chair to Kennedy and dropped to the mat, feigning unconsciousness. The ref saw the scene and disqualified Kennedy. Eddie Guerrero won his last match.

I don't even know where i'm going with all of this. I guess I don't really need to have a point. One of my favorites has just died. It turns out that a lot of fans are hoping that he didn't die of an overdose, just like me. Some are saying that wrestling doesn't need another drug related wrestling death. I'm not worried about that. Wrestling is going to be okay either way. I just don't want people dragging Eddie through the mud, because that's what's coming if it was drugs involved and because he's so young, that's very likely. I'm still going to miss seeing Eddie Guerrero either way. His talents in the ring, his humor, his charisma. One of my all-time favorites, since 1997.

I've been with you since you and DDP were feuding over the Battlebowl ring. The match with Rey Misterio, Jr. at Halloween Havoc is one of the best I've ever seen. I bought Rey's DVD just to have that match. I always thought the LWO was one of the lowest points of your career. So was that car accident you were in. I just wanted you to be okay, and although it was selfish of me, I wanted to see you wrestle again. I was just glad you weren't dead. When the Revolution came around, to me it was just another point where you were underutilized. You made a grown man jump around like a schoolgirl in his dorm room when you delivered the frogsplash to Road Dogg on Raw for the first time. Then, when you injured your elbow on Smackdown...man, that sucked. I was pissed at you when got fired from the WWF, but I was in the house when you came back and attacked Jericho on Raw and I think I was one of maybe five people who recognized you through your dyed hair. I wanted you to beat the crap out of that guy who came in the ring during the ladder match. I was really glad to see you let the mullet go. I didn't even bother watching No Way Out because I didn't think the "E" would really let you go over Brock Lesnar. And I'll always remember seeing both you and Benoit in the ring with the championship belts, because it was a day that i never thought I'd see. And that brings me to today, because it was a day that i never expected to see. Goodbye, Eddie.

My Run-In With A Prophet

What do you do when you're confronted by a man who claims to be a prophet?

It's a relatively new experience for me. I'd never met anyone who claimed to be a prophet. Not anyone that was serious, anyway. Is it possible he could have been one? Who am I to tell him he wasn't? That's a pretty bold statement and one I wasn't ready to challenge.

He said some pretty deep stuff while he was in there, mostly talking about how hating someone causes you to relive that person's history. Then, he talked about how your child comes out to be the same sex as the person you hate. Then, he brought up how the anger that's directed at the person that's being hated is actually directed at others. Basically, when someone says something negative about you, those words are actually directed at the person that they hate, which apparently, is what "forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do" means. They don't realize what they've done so if someone has done you wrong, basically you should forgive them because it's probably not directed at you.

That struck me because I've been done wrong by someone for no apparent reason. I decided not to deal with that person anymore. Should I go back and talk to that person? Should I forgive him for his transgressions against me? Does he really hate someone else and I was just caught in the crossfire?

Well, I haven't gone to talk to him yet, and I'm not fully convinced that the man was a prophet. I could be wrong, though. The guy was about 6 feet tall and about 300 pounds of stomach. He was bald on top, had a kinda crazy look in his eyes and was slobbering a little bit when he talked. He had bad breath. When he left, I caught a glimpse of his plumber's crack. Not exactly the image of a prophet, I'd say. Then again, the prophet story has popped up periodically throughout time, where the wise man or prophet was disguised as a fool or bum or something along those lines. Not calling that man a fool or bum, he just looked...unlikely. But maybe it's not his outward shell that should be getting the attention, but his words. They certainly seemed to apply to my life. Maybe I really was talking to someone who had a direct line with God. Maybe I should start going to church and reading the Bible. Maybe there was more to this Christianity thing than I initially realized.

Or maybe the guy was just a drunken fool with a glazed over look in his eyes and I should have called the cops because this guy was behind the wheel of an 18-wheeler. I let this guy continue to run free on America's highways.

I guess I'll find out another day and hopefully I won't be watching the news when I do. To any cops out there: It's gonna take about four of you to bring that guy down. And some horse tranquilizers.

The Hell Is Wrong With You People?

Air Force football coach Fisher Deberry got in trouble the other day for making some comments about black players. Let's listen:

From Yahoo! Sports:

On Tuesday, in discussing last weekend's 48-10 loss to TCU, DeBerry said it was clear TCU ``had a lot more Afro-American players than we did and they ran a lot faster than we did.''

``It just seems to me to be that way,'' he said. ``Afro-American kids can run very well. That doesn't mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can't run, but it's very obvious to me that they run extremely well.''

He got in trouble for that. He was actually reprimanded for that.

White people, what the hell is wrong with you?

I say "white people" because you are in the majority in this country, from a media standpoint, political standpoint, and just simply having more warm bodies around than anyone else. Well, LEGALLY having warm bodies around. So since you outnumber everyone else, things are told from your perspective. So I need for you to tell me why this has put you into such a tizzy.
Black people are not upset about what DeBerry said. There's nothing to be upset about. It's all true, generally speaking. There's no secret about it. The black athlete is faster than the white athlete. From a physical standpoint, the black man is the ultimate, mainly because he was bred to be that way. I'm not telling you anything that Jimmy the Greek didn't already say.

It's funny because it sounds like whenever something racial is said, it's almost like white people want to get mad about it first, that way they can show black people that they're right there with them when black people get mad about it. Or maybe white people truly believe all that stuff about racial equality and intolerance being wrong. I guess my thing is, we're not mad about it so why are you? Listen, Fisher DeBerry didn't say anything wrong...at least, not this time. He didn't say anything that offended anyone (at least not anyone who isn't suffering from a major head injury) and he didn't say anything that white people haven't said privately amongst themselves. We know you say it and it's okay. We've been saying it for decades. That line of talk was really popular in the 70s and 80s, when white people would step out on the basketball court with black people. Then we'd say it in front of you.

But it's not to say that the white man can't perform like the black man. Jason Sehorn played cornerback in the NFL and regularly defended black receivers and did it well. Bob Sura used to dunk on cats in the NBA on the regular. You can turn on the TV and always see a good white wide out and, dammit, Brent Barry won the slam dunk contest. The last dominion of black dominance was taken by a white dunker. Hell, one of the best three players in NBA history (arguably) was white, that being Larry Bird.

Now, when black people would talk about white players, no one ever got upset, but when white people are talking about black players, people start pulling their hair out. Maybe you guys are afraid that black people will start filing lawsuits. Let me tell you, we're not as litigious as our white counterparts. For instance, if the roles were reversed, I guarantee you that Rush Limbaugh would have sued Donovan McNabb a few years back for slander...or something.

Remember that? The Rush Limbaugh/Donovan McNabb controversy? Now what the hell was that about? Limbaugh lost his job over this one and I still don't know what the big deal was. Now, let's make no bones about it: I don't like Rush Limbaugh. But what did he say that was wrong? If you look back, at that time McNabb wasn't playing that well, but he was being held up on a pedestal by the predominantly white media. That Eagles team was held up by it's defense (kinda like right now). And Limbaugh correctly suggested that the NFL would like to have a successful black quarterback (which is true...and they have...and McNabb along with Michael Vick and Daunte Culpepper are ALWAYS put in front of you) and that McNabb was getting credit for things he didn't do because of that (which he was, as that was a defensive-led team). Limbaugh lost his job for that just because he was a white man saying the words "black quarterback." Well, fuck me, white America. I didn't know that the word "black" had become so taboo.

You people (or your media...I guess I shouldn't say all of you) have lost your damn minds. Political correctness has long since been taken too far, this is just another example of it. Don't try to get mad for us, please. It's insulting because we know it's not genuine and it all comes off as damage control. Let's apologize before the lawsuits can come in. Let me know when Rush Limbaugh or Fisher DeBerry says "that nigger boy" on live TV. I actually kind of want them to. Now that would be politically incorrect. No, actually, that's downright offensive.

See, the thing with political incorrectness is that ever since this term was coined, people have gotten overly sensitive about things that aren't a big deal. Apparently, telling the truth is politically incorrect. Look, white people can't dance, black people have big dicks, and a lot of Mexicans sneak into the country. Okay? It's not like I made up something. If I said that white people are an evil people and the minorities of the world should rise up against them and kill them, now that would be bad. Everyone knows that white people aren't evil, just their governments. Or if I started referring to Mexicans as "beaners," that would be wrong. I'm not Carlos Mencia. That rule says that only members of said race can openly demean themselves. That's why only black people can say the word "nigger."

So hopefully, you've all learned something from this. Pre-emptive anger and moral outrage comes off as fake, forced, and really, it's just irritating to see someone go down for something that someone else defines as being wrong that really isn't.

What's messed up is, where was this moral outrage when the Mexican president was talking about black people? What, he can't be sued, so there's nothing to say? Where was white America's white media then? Although what he said was also true, he was implying (probably accidentally) that black people were at the bottom of the work force in America. And what about the mess about that damn stamp line they had down there? I guess actual racial issues don't make for entertaining soundbites and new headlines.

Untitled

It's funny how people change.

Or maybe it's me. Maybe I've changed.

Maybe something's wrong with me. Maybe I just don't get it.

Maybe I'm being too sensitive or maybe I'm being to rigid. Too uptight.

It's all fun and games. It's all just jokes.

Maybe that's just it. Maybe it is fun and games to you, but I don't think that joke is funny anymore.

Maybe now I hold myself to a higher standard and I don't like to see the depths you've lowered yourself to.

Maybe you've let me down once too often.

Maybe I don't feel I can depend on you as a friend. Maybe I know you won't understand.

Maybe I never felt that you were truly sorry for the ways you've wronged me.

Maybe I feel bad for you because things aren't going that well.

Maybe I feel worse for myself because you stabbed me in the back.

So maybe this time, you're all on your own.

Maybe one day we can clear the air and go back to being friends.

Maybe if we talk a little more like we used to, we'll begin to understand where the other's coming from.

Maybe you'll see that I don't think that stealing people's girlfriends is okay.

Maybe you'll stop having kids.

Maybe you'll understand how seriously I take concepts like vindictiveness.

Maybe you'll learn to just let some things go.

Maybe you'll learn to listen.

Or maybe you're right and I'm wrong.

Maybe I've become too serious.

Maybe I take too much abuse from other people without retaliation.

Maybe I'm too anal about my stuff.

Maybe you just need a good dose of the truth about yourself. Maybe I won't tell you because i know you're not ready to hear it.

Maybe I need it right back. In fact, there's no maybe about it.

Maybe there's a friendship still there worth salvaging.

Maybe I'll take that first step to find out. Maybe you will.

Then again, maybe not.

I'm tired of high school players in the NBA.

Sure, some people would call me a hater or jealous, but I don't really care. I don't like all these high school players coming in the NBA. I feel that there should be some sort of logic that goes into selecting draft picks. Don't get me wrong: LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and Kevin Garnett weren't going to get too much out of going to college except a championship and even more hype than they had due to anticipation. But just because they did it doesn't mean every high schooler should be able to make the jump. Most of them just aren't ready.

As good as Tracy McGrady is, once I really started paying attention to his game, I felt like he should have gone to college. Offensively, he's one of the most gifted players in the league, but he doesn't play a lick of defense. Somehow I can't help feeling that if he'd gone to a big time college program, they would have drilled defense into him. Imagine how much better he'd be right now if he'd spent a year or two in school, just learning that. Or how to attack a zone, as he openly admitted he didn't know how to do. If he'd gone to school, he'd know how to attack one because that's every college defense...a zone defense of some kind. He would have seen them all and learned how to attack them. And if I feel that Tracy McGrady should have gone to school, you can imagine how i feel about such busts as Kwame Brown, Eddy Curry, and Tyson Chandler. These three jokers are pretty much a prime example of why kids need to go to school.

The difference between those three and Kobe, KG, and LeBron is that as high schoolers, you could just see how great they'd become. You knew that there wasn't much point to them going to college. Bryant's and Garnett's careers would have pretty much turned out the same. It's just that they would have hit the ground running instead of not doing much except teasing us with what was to come. Let's face it, for Kobe Bryant's first three years, he wasn't anything close to good, let alone great. He wasn't even the best two-guard on his team. And don't get me started on his shot selection. Then, it all came together. He could have come into the league after his junior year in college and things would have turned out exactly the same as they did, except he'd be on another team. Kevin Garnett was pretty much the same. If he had been able to get in school, he could have used a year or two and then, he would have done pretty much everything he's done. LeBron...well, that man's just a beast. And he's only 19.

Every other high school player since has had the word "project" attached to their names. Go ahead and check. I'll wait. When you come back, you'll see I'm right, except for Tracy McGrady. Any other one you want to name...project. BUT...everyone's looking at their potential. Conversely, you have a lot of college seniors that come in and don't do much. One line of thinking about that is that they stayed in school because their draft status never reached where they wanted it to, so they kept going back. Therefore, they're not that good. That's one way to look at it. Personally, if I were a general manager, I'd take that junior or senior over a high schooler, just because I've seen what they can do in a tougher environment, in bigger games, against tougher competition. The high school players are good, but do you know how easy it is to make a high school team? At 26 and out of shape, I could walk into a tryout next week and make the team. It's that easy. My point is, they look good against kids who aren't as good. Show me how good they are against people as good or better than they are. If you can excel there, then you've PROVEN that you're ready for the NBA. The elite...the best of the best. College upperclassmen have shown that. Even those who failed to excel. But they can say that they've excelled at a high level. At the very least, you have respect what John Wallace did at Syracuse, even if he was an NBA bust. What did Korleone Young ever do? Or the O'Bannons...even though they weren't seniors, they were winners at UCLA. Miles Simon from Arizona, Ray Jackson and Jimmy King from Michigan, even Joe Forte from North Carolina. You knew they could at least play at the college level. Kwame Brown hasn't even shown me that, let alone at the NBA level. My point here is, you made a safer bet with those guys than you did with high school kids. For instance, even though Marcus Camby isn't a dominant player in the NBA and Tim Duncan is, in college you saw Camby dominate Duncan when they were in college. Who did Jonathan Bender ever dominate? And scoring 31 in the McDonald's Game doesn't count.

Tyson Chandler and Eddy Curry are entering their fourth year in the league. I hated that they got drafted by the Bulls since the day I heard their names called. The Bulls are my favorite team and it pains me to watch them, because they haven't shown me anything since they got in the league. Tyson Chandler will be a Marcus Camby-type for years to come, which isn't bad. Eddy Curry is...well, he's not going to be a headliner, either. Now looking back at the 2001 Draft, you'll see that Tyson Chandler was selected second, before Pau Gasol. In retrospect, that was a bad pick. At the time, though, would you have picked Kwame Brown (1st), Tyson Chandler (2nd) or Eddy Curry (4th) before Jason Richardson (5th) , Shane Battier (6th) , or Joe Johnson (10th)? This was a weak draft and they still shouldn't have been that high. Even today, how are those guys better than, say...Brendan Haywood? I maintain to this day that Shane Battier should have gone first. If that draft could be redone now, Pau Gasol would have gone first and Tony Parker would have gone second. There isn't a team in the league that would have drafted those three in the first round, if at all.

And this is more or less my argument for why these kids need to go to school. The NBA needs an age limit. Their games speak for themselves. I don't even need to give examples, except for maybe more name dropping. Darius Miles (still not producing), Jermaine O'Neal (five years on the bench), DeShawn Stevenson (someone tell me what his number is...I'll give you 20 bucks if you can name it without researching it first) DeSagana Diop (how can this waste still not post up?) Kedrick Brown (okay...not bad), Leon Smith (Who?) Al Harrington (overrated, to date...maxed out as a sixth man for Indiana), Amare Stoudamire (the exception that proves the rule), Qyntel Woods (tell me one thing he's done...ever) and last as well as least, Korleone f'n Young.

Okay, have I made my point? Kids...take your butts to school and learn how to do what you're doing. You'll make more money that way, I assure you. And GMs...stop drafting high schoolers, unless they're can't miss kids like LeBron is or Kobe and KG were. Remember, the rule of thumb is if you're focused on "potential" or the word "project" comes up in your thoughts, draft someone else. That way, you won't have these kids uglying up the game more than it already is.

Model yourselves after someone who wasn't on the And 1 Mixtapes. You see where that got you. And the NBA don't owe you snotnosed punks nothing.

I forgot this thing was even here. But I need an outlet, so here it is.

This past Wednesday, George W. Bush was elected President of the United States for the first time. It took me a minute, but I'm calm again. I don't like the fact that he's in office and I don't like the fact that this time I actually have to start calling him President, because now he actually is. However, no matter how I feel about W, (I hate him, incidentally) that wasn't what upset me the most about this past election.

Eleven states had a vote on whether to ban gay marriage. Eleven states passed it overwhelmingly, including my home state of Mississippi (shocker!) and Georgia, where I currently reside. It's not a surprise, but it is disheartening to see how easily it went through.

My fellow Americans...you are a bunch of bigots.

I can't believe that you really can't see that through all of your religious spouting and moral posturing. The "Christian right" saw to it that this thing got passed and for what? So gay people can't get married. I fail to see how that's a problem to anyone. Christians, however, feel that it is their religious duty to discriminate and exclude a group from all the rights and privleges that they are entitled to as an American. Gay people go to work and pay their taxes. They laugh, they love, they cry, they pray, they do everything that straight people do except have sex with the opposite sex. I have yet to be convinced how someone's sex life is anyone else's business.

What these people fail to see is that they are taking a bigoted stance in the name of a man who was anything but. This is why Jesus (assuming he's real) is in Heaven and at the right hand of God and you are nothing more than a meatbag who's only a few thousand miles away from a fiery death at the business end of a meteor. Now, since Christians were the ones who got this thing over, I'm using their language to talk to them. You like to say what would Jesus do? Well, what WOULD Jesus do? Do you really think Jesus would have voted for that amendment in 11 states? What happened to love? What happened to tolerance? Weren't some of Jesus' last words before he left this earth to love one another? What happened to that? You people aren't following Jesus, though. You aren't heeding his teachings. You're sad, evil, people being led around by other men. Pat Robertson, Creflo Dollar, T.D. Jakes....TV evangelists. You worship man, you don't worship God. If you were heeding anything Jesus said, you'd love one another because that should come before almost anything else. Love God, love each other. Then, everything else, because if you're loving God and loving each other, everything else should fall into place. You're also judging your fellow man, which if I understand it correctly is something that's reserved for The Lord and The Lord alone. That means you're trying to take the place of God and last time I checked, that was a Hell-worthy trespass. And don't tell me anything about what The Bible says, because it was written BY MAN. And if you haven't learned by now, man has an agenda. If you love each other, what else do you need to know? All you people need to do is love God and love each other. That's it. Discrimination doesn't work into the equation.

Now...minorities. Especially black people. What are you thinking? My fellow black people apparently feel that they need to vote discrimination into the Constitution, too. Well, apparently, my black people haven't learned anything over the years. It wasn't that long ago that our people were on this end of the equation. Remember, when white people came to Africa, they thought we were heathens because we didn't worship their God. So they justified their wholesale capture of us by saying they were saving our souls. And it wasn't just us...they did our Native American brothers (North and South America alike) the same way. We were told we were half a man and things like that. We were told that God made us to be less than a man. Once again, discrimination was justified through religion. Wasn't even our religion. This mentality is still with us today, though racists who believe that the white man is king and everyone else is lesser and that God made it that way. So it baffles my mind to see that black people, who were so unjustly treated for a good 500 years (still hasn't stopped, really) by white Anglo-Saxon Protestants under the heading of religion would so quickly side with them to discriminate someone else. You saw how it was wrong when it was YOU, but when it's someone else you, conveniently forget.

All in the name of religion. You people need to drop religion. Isn't spirituality good enough for you? Can't you just have a relationship with God or Allah or Yahweh or Jehovah and not bother anyone else with your mess? Can't you go to a foreign country without trying to convert everyone? Can't someone live a totally foreign lifestyle than you and have it be okay? Everyone doesn't have to look or act or dress or think the same. It's really okay. Apparently God doesn't mind, because he made it that way, right? If you truly have faith in God, then you'll know that he's got it under control. He doesn't need your help and it's not your job unless he informs you otherwise. Your job is to worship him and act right. Hating people is not acting right. Making discrimination a part of government is not acting right. Leave people alone. Live and let live. Not live and stress others. Besides, pestering people isn't exactly the best way to help people see your side. If you come at them right, they'll see it on their own. Or not. And if you weren't so busy trying to tell everyone how wrong they are for being different, perhaps you'd see that you weren't so right yourself.

Look, there's a lot going wrong in this world. There's too much hate, too much anger. Things like this don't help any, and we're not going to make it if we keep on like this. Whether it's something like kicking out your gay son or whether it's flying planes into buildings, we can't keep on like this. It's not going to be long before we're all dead because of hate or fear or just dislike of things that are different. It's a lot easier to just let everyone get on with their lives. No one's trying to hurt anybody and we all want the same things. Just because we look or sound different or sleep with other men or women doesn't make us bad. And it's not like it hurts you in any way. If it does, please explain it to me. In the meantime, just know that it takes more energy to hate than it does to just shut up and go about your own life, because what it all boils down to is, it's no one's business what goes on in someone else's bedroom. That's between them and, I guess in the end, God. And really...if you don't care what goes on in a straight man's bedroom, why should you care what goes on in a gay man's bedroom?

Unless, there's something about yourself that you need to figure out...

Love everybody, ya'll...

Thad

Cactus Jack.

Yesterday, I bought the Mick Foley DVD with a whole mess of Cactus Jack, Mankind, and Dude Love matches on it. I haven't watched it all yet, but what I have seen of it, I've decided that while I like and respect Mick Foley, there's only so much of his matches that I can watch.

There are a lot of different kinds of wrestling matches. You got your traditional WWF style match. You got ECW matches, WCW matches, WWF Hardcore matches, scientific matches, Japanese style matches, stiff matches...the list goes on and on. Personally, I just find myself watching any kind of match that tells a "story" as they put it. I guess that's the problem I have with most of the matches on this DVD. It's just brawling and garbage wrestling and that gets old, fast.

When ECW was on the air, I liked it. It was always a treat to see something that wasn't WWF or WCW on national television. And while WWF kept their wrestlers tightly reined in and WCW didn't let their best wrestlers get a whole lot of TV time, ECW let their wrestlers cut loose all the time. Not only that, their wrestlers got to do things that most promoters would never allow a wrestler to do, like jump from the ring into the crowd or allow fans to bring weapons for the wrestlers to use. In ECW, it was pretty commonplace to see Rob Van Dam do a somersault plancha from the top rope to the fifth row. ECW was also home to some of the most brutal matches ever seen in this country. This had a good side and a bad side. The good side is, you're going to get to see some real extreme shit. The bad side is that everyone in ECW wanted to do it. So when you see one match that has two guys using everything that they can get their hands on the win a match, it's cool. But when the next 5 matches all go the same way, it gets boring. That's what this DVD was like.

A lot of fans like that kind of thing. Me, I like a variety of different things in my wrestling. Most importantly, I want it all to make sense. For instance, I don't like seeing two wrestlers throw every big time move they can think of at each other, only for them to kick out at two. That's stupid. I'm a firm believer that you should build up to the big moves. It makes them that much more important, not to mention devastating. So if in one match a guy blasts a guy with a chair at the end to win the match, but in the match before it, the four guys in the ring are blasting each other with chairs for 20 straight minutes, to no effect, it means nothing. And really, chairs for 20 minutes...the novelty gets lost along the way.

So in watching most of this DVD...well, I watched the second one first. That was the one that had all the WWF stuff on it. There were some real classics on this disc. You got Shawn Michaels/Mankind, you got Mankind/Undertaker Hell in a Cell, you got HHH/Cactus Jack. These matches were all brutal matches, but they were brutal without overdoing it. They all had a purpose in mind. Something they were trying to convey to you. They all meant something. Then, I went over the first disc. This one has a lot of WCW and ECW matches on it. And well...Mick Foley liked a lot of these matches and a lot of his fans liked these matches, but they did nothing for me. For instance, one match has Cactus Jack and Raven taking on Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer. Honestly, if you'd never seen this match, but you'd ever seen any combination of these men wrestle each other before, you never would have missed anything. For 20 minutes, these men walked around the ring picking up trash from the ring and the crowd and hit each other with it, bleeding all over the place. I was not impressed. There was nothing in this match that I felt that I couldn't have gone the rest of my life without seeing. There was no rhyme or reason to any of it and nothing stood out. Hell, I saw a match on Raw with Foley and Funk that stood out more. Funk moonsaulted from the second level bleachers onto Foley on the floor. Foley piledrove Funk on a table. Anyway, the majority of the disc went like that.

I respect Foley's ability to take so much abuse, but when looked at in that setting or context, it makes him look stupid. In the WWF, sure he'd take some crazy bump, but it was just one or two bumps and there was a buildup. Except in the Hell in a Cell. When you spend the whole match getting hit with stuff or flying all over the place and there's no real point, well...people can criticize The Rock all they want to, but when he reaches 35, he'll still be able to walk. The Rock once said something like "I can connect with the crowd and don't have to jump off of ladders to do it."

Another plus to the WWF part of his career was that you got to see other sides of the man. You got to see exactly how funny this man is and how entertaining he truly can be when he's not getting stitched up or herniating another disc in his back. When it's all said and done, we may or may not remember the Exploding Ring Death Match in Japan, but we will remember the Foley patented "Cheap Pop." We'll also remember that Hell in a Cell match, too, but that's because it's...I mean, really...that man is crazy.

I'm not really disappointed with this stuff because I knew what I was getting to when I saw it. I just never thought that a match involving Maxx Payne or the Nasty Boys would be a selling point for anything I own. A lot of the stuff on here does add to some of the stories in his book, where he talked about some of these matches and promos featured. The thing about it all is, there's only so much garbage wrestling that one can watch. Especially when that person is used to and prefers stuff that is NOT garbage wrestling. I still do like Mick Foley, though and I still respect him and consider him one of the greats. It's just that his body of work sometimes leaves a lot to be desired.