Things that need to make a comeback

Actual rappers, the finger roll, Reagan-era Saturday morning cartoons, Kung-fu Theater, playoff fouls, pro sports rivalries, The Rock, imaginative breakfast cereals, movies like “the Karate Kid,” 80’s style action movies, musicians on the radio, the fashion of not wearing gold in your mouth, the end zone celebration, cartoons that shamelessly hawk toy lines, cars that are made of steel, getting a whooping, neighborhood fist fights, good parenting, inspirational black leaders, graphic adventure games, soundtrack singles that are about the movie, basketball shorts that stop above the knee, wrestlers who don’t make me feel ashamed to watch this crap, Emmanuelle, porn with storylines, Mafia control of Las Vegas, the smelly kid, stadiums without corporate branding, heavyweight boxing, hip-hop before it became “big business,” Marv Albert and the NBA on NBC, You Can’t Do That on Television, making up games, staying outside all day, but having to be home before the streetlights come on, wearing your pants on your waist, the muscle gut, Crystal Pepsi, Animaniacs, afterschool specials, Schoolhouse Rock, funny Super Bowl commercials, common sense, Dave Chappelle, male R & B groups, female R & B groups, rock bands that could kick your ass, basketball players who know how to shoot, the dominant center, the importance of an Olympic gold medal, 50 cent comic books, penny candy, gas that costs less than $1.50, Michael Jackson’s nose, Disney musicals, tag team wrestling, self-effacing rappers, The Boondocks, Guns ‘N Roses, Van Halen, pinball machines, hanging out at the arcade, wrestling managers, power ballads, that song from “Dirty Dancing,” the R-rated comedy, and primetime Charlie Brown specials.