Day 3. I want to burn down College Park.

Fuck, this is hard when you don't have any inspiration.

This morning, I had a whole buncha stuff to say about the Wolf Creek Amphitheater in College Park, because, really, fuck Wolf Creek Amphitheater.  Unfortunately, because of the three hours of sleep I've had today, I forgot all of it.  But I remember enough of what happened to keep being mad.  For instance, if I wanted to walk for a mile and sweat through my clothes, I would have gone to the gym, where it's okay for fat people to do that.  Usually, mixing exercise and music is called Zumba, but these folks think it's a natural fit for a concert.  But it was all worth it, because I got to see a really good live show.

Slick Rick, Keith Sweat, and Mint Condition performed, I could hear Jon B and Nappy Roots in the distance, and I heard tell of Big Boi and En Vogue performing as well.  I might have seen them myself, but College Park Police are a group of imbeciles who can't even direct traffic without turning the road into a parking lot.  So, yeah, I missed all that shit. 

Look, I ain't gonna lie, I was late.  But I wasn't late enough to miss half the show.  There are varying degrees of lateness, and I was still in the "acceptable" range.  It ain't like I left the house at the start time.  That would make me more of a stereotype than the chicken and watermelon I'm about to have for dinner (no, for real.  This is really about to happen.).  All that I was supposed to miss was a stand-up comedian, and who cares about that, because no one goes to a concert to hear jokes.  It makes me feel the same way as when I see commercials playing at the movies.

Wolf Creek Amphitheater didn't have the foresight to predict that their plans for parking were never going to work.  It was my first time down there, so they might say that they've had other shows that went well.  I'd concede that I really didn't know what I was talking about, if it weren't for the the fifth entry in my Google search being a Yelp entry from a year ago that says all the same shit.  So in a year, they couldn't improve on anything?  Wolf Creek Amphitheater can eat shit.

Because really, who funnels thousands of cars worth of traffic into three two-lane highways that lead to one parking lot?  People who don't know shit, that's who.  And unfortunately for my old man ankles, people who don't know shit are in charge of parking.  They did have three shuttles running people up to the gate, though, and that would have been a brilliant idea if those shuttles weren't stuck in the same traffic as everyone else.  So that left a legion of overweight people to drag their chairs and coolers half a mile down a narrow road, through the woods.  Allowing that much thigh-friction to be that close to all those trees is both wrong and dangerous.  

Now, having said all of that, I'm still going back on August 3, because K-Ci and JoJo will be there with Dru Hill, and who can resist two train wrecks for the price of one?  I'll be really upset with myself if I miss Dru Hill curbstomping Sisqo while K-Ci and JoJo are passed out in the middle of the stage.